I've known this girl for a couple of weeks now. At first, it was cool that she was a vegan, because she just ate what she did and let me eat what I did. But then a few days ago, we decided to live together for a little bit and see how it would work out. The first day was fine. But on the second day, I made some Sloppy Joes and I whipped her up some steamed vegetables for dinner. I noticed she started getting a little curt with me after we ate that night. We were sitting on the couch after dinner watching TV when all of a sudden she blurts out, "Whycouldn't you just use veggie burgers instead of beef in your sloppy joes? You won't even know the difference."
I asked what brought that on, and she said that living with me and having to see me eat meat and smell me cooking meat strated driving her crazy. I told her, "At least I'm not complaining about all the space in my fridge you're taking up because of your vegetables." It started escalating, and I don't know how it happened, but I ended up sleeping on my couch instead of my own bed. :?
So after that night, I woke up in the morning to make myself breakfast. Well, she was already up making some kind of wheat germ slop or whatever, and I go into the fridge to get some eggs, and noticed they were all gone. I asked "What happened to my eggs?" She goes, "They smelled rotten, so I threw them out." Then I go, "All 10 of them? I just bought them a couple days ago." Anyway, I let it slide, but then I noticed my meat drawer was completely empty. No sausage, no bacon, no left over hamburger from the sloppy joes.
So now I'm fuming. She threw away all my meat and eggs, and then I noticed the dairy gone too. No milk. No butter. No cream! So I unleash on her and I'm calling her every derogatory name I can think of and now she's throwing things at me, including that bowl of slop she was making thatended up sprayingmy entire stove. She runs off to get her things, and while she was out of the kitchen, I grabbed a Glad bag and started emptying out every vegetable that was in there. The tomatoes, the celery, the zucchini, the squash, the bean sprouts. I took them to the trash and threw them away
When I got back in the house, she had her suitcase packed, and there was dead silence that came over us. We stared into each other's eyes for a while, and then I go, "So... this is it?" She said, "Yeah, I guess this is it. I'm sorry I threw away your food." Then I go, "Yeah, me too. Well, can I at least give you a ride home?" She said no, she'll take the bus. She walked out of my door, and started to cross the street to the bus stop when to my horor, this meat truck came out of nowhere and hit her!
I just got back from the hospital visiting her. She survived, but there's hardly any brain activity. She's a vegetable now. I guess you really are what you eat, huh? :(
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