My mother's pregnancy will destroy this family.

Excuse the rather harsh title but my family is currently facing an existential crisis.

I'm 25 and the older brother to two developmentally and physically impaired children. Her husband died 5 years ago but my mother quickly found another partner who she felt reminded her of him. My mother and her new lover who despite not being able to marry (he was still technically married and didn't want to divorce so he could keep health benefits) had two children together.

Despite my pleading for my mother to consider other options she decided to go ahead and carry them to term. I'm not going to lie they are a drain on this family financially and mentally.

Now my mother is pregnant for a 3rd time and due to her strong beliefs on abortion refuses to consider it insisting that something will come along. We are living in a one bedroom subsidized housing and are financially at the brink. We pretty much knew there was a good chance the first two would end up the way they did and now its happened again.

Should I attempt to convince my mother to consider other options? Its still very early on. Less than a month. Am I being unfair to her here?

If you're 25, may I ask how old your mom is?

If you're 25, may I ask how old your mom is?

Pirate700

Wow... leave your mother alone man. You shouldn't be forcing anyone into getting an abortion... that's pretty screwed up. Also, what's your current education and employment? And what's your mother's/ her partner's?Setsa

would you want to be born with mental and phyiscal disabilities?

[QUOTE="Setsa"]Wow... leave your mother alone man. You shouldn't be forcing anyone into getting an abortion... that's pretty screwed up. Also, what's your current education and employment? And what's your mother's/ her partner's?M4Ntan

would you want to be born with mental and phyiscal disabilities?

[QUOTE="M4Ntan"]

[QUOTE="Setsa"]Wow... leave your mother alone man. You shouldn't be forcing anyone into getting an abortion... that's pretty screwed up. Also, what's your current education and employment? And what's your mother's/ her partner's?Setsa

would you want to be born with mental and phyiscal disabilities?

He cannot force her to do anything, he can just let her know his opinion and how they cannot afford another kid, even if they have mental disabilities. Also, vasectomy and abortions are different. A women can still get pregneant after an abortion.

[QUOTE="Setsa"][QUOTE="M4Ntan"]

would you want to be born with mental and phyiscal disabilities?

M4Ntan

He cannot force her to do anything, he can just let her know his opinion and how they cannot afford another kid, even if they have mental disabilities.

She's 40 but her two children are 5 and 4 respectively. I have a GED and do freelance graphic design from the home. RaptorPen

Look, if you guys are really in such a bad way, you need to call Child Protection Services. If you are barely making ends meet, then they will take the children away.

[QUOTE="M4Ntan"]

[QUOTE="Setsa"] Personally, I'd rather live than never be born. If you're taking a pro-choice stance though, then you really can't support the OP because he's trying to force someone else to do something with her body that she's not comfortable with. How would you feel if people pressured you into getting a vasectomy?Setsa

He cannot force her to do anything, he can just let her know his opinion and how they cannot afford another kid, even if they have mental disabilities.

Excuse the rather harsh title but my family is currently facing an existential crisis.

I'm 25 and the older brother to two developmentally and physically impaired children. Her husband died 5 years ago but my mother quickly found another partner who she felt reminded her of him. My mother and her new lover who despite not being able to marry (he was still technically married and didn't want to divorce so he could keep health benefits) had two children together.

Despite my pleading for my mother to consider other options she decided to go ahead and carry them to term. I'm not going to lie they are a drain on this family financially and mentally.

Now my mother is pregnant for a 3rd time and due to her strong beliefs on abortion refuses to consider it insisting that something will come along. We are living in a one bedroom subsidized housing and are financially at the brink. We pretty much knew there was a good chance the first two would end up the way they did and now its happened again.

Should I attempt to convince my mother to consider other options? Its still very early on. Less than a month. Am I being unfair to her here?

RaptorPen

Free lance work at 25?? Time for you to get a full time job and leave your Mom's apt.

roulettethedog

I really like living with her though and she likes me living with her. Its a good relationship. Why should I move out just because society says I have to? RaptorPen

It's a fire-hazard? How many people are living in that tiny apartment?

[QUOTE="roulettethedog"]

Free lance work at 25?? Time for you to get a full time job and leave your Mom's apt.

RaptorPen

Not because of society but because of the fact that you are contributing to the financial "drain" that you speak of.

[QUOTE="RaptorPen"]I really like living with her though and she likes me living with her. Its a good relationship. Why should I move out just because society says I have to? airshocker

It's a fire-hazard? How many people are living in that tiny apartment?

Its not an apartment its a house. Two bedrooms. The children get their own room so there is plenty of space.RaptorPen

That's not what you said.

We are living in a one bedroom subsidized housing and are financially at the brink. We pretty much knew there was a good chance the first two would end up the way they did and now its happened again.RaptonPen

Surely she can have diagnostic pregnancy tests to discover whether the child is disabled or not?

At the end of the day it's her choice though. If she wants to have the child there's nothing much you can do about it.

[QUOTE="RaptorPen"]Its not an apartment its a house. Two bedrooms. The children get their own room so there is plenty of space.airshocker

That's not what you said.

We are living in a one bedroom subsidized housing and are financially at the brink. We pretty much knew there was a good chance the first two would end up the way they did and now its happened again.[/URL]

RaptonPen

[QUOTE="RaptorPen"]She's 40 but her two children are 5 and 4 respectively. I have a GED and do freelance graphic design from the home. airshocker

Look, if you guys are really in such a bad way, you need to call Child Protection Services. If you are barely making ends meet, then they will take the children away.

There are two bedrooms but floor space considered its really no different from an average one bedroom apartment. RaptorPen

And how many people are living there currently?

[QUOTE="RaptorPen"]There are two bedrooms but floor space considered its really no different from an average one bedroom apartment. airshocker

And how many people are living there currently?

There are currently 4 people living here.

RaptorPen

You mean five? You, your mom, her lover, and two handicapped children.

Either way you need to help your family. Do it anonymously through the Police department.

[QUOTE="Setsa"]Wow... leave your mother alone man. You shouldn't be forcing anyone into getting an abortion... that's pretty screwed up. Also, what's your current education and employment? And what's your mother's/ her partner's?M4Ntan

would you want to be born with mental and phyiscal disabilities?

You're 25, you should move out get yourown place. worry about yourself.. what she does is her problems.Dogswithguns

[QUOTE="Pirate700"]

If you're 25, may I ask how old your mom is?

RaptorPen

[QUOTE="Setsa"][QUOTE="M4Ntan"]

He cannot force her to do anything, he can just let her know his opinion and how they cannot afford another kid, even if they have mental disabilities.

RaptorPen

well maybe because she is carrying another life inside of her?

[QUOTE="RaptorPen"][QUOTE="Pirate700"]

If you're 25, may I ask how old your mom is?

Drakes_Fortune

If you don't like it move out. Its not your house.

Judging strictly from your post, it sounds like a pretty bad move on your mothers part.

I also get the vibe that you help with the little ones? I know it's going to be a tough choice, but you shouldn't make your life miserable to appease/help her. You might want to consider moving out and letting the two of them take care of their children if it's going to burden you.

You only get one life, and you shouldn't have to spend it trying to help someone fix their mistakes.

You'd best get a job and move out so it doesn't bring you down as well.

I got to say that you sound like you are speaking about your wife not your mother. Especially since these 2 kids get their own room? So you sleep in the same room as your 40 year old mother and her lover? I..We..need more information!CreasianDevaili

Judging strictly from your post, it sounds like a pretty bad move on your mothers part.

I also get the vibe that you help with the little ones? I know it's going to be a tough choice, but you shouldn't make your life miserable to appease/help her. You might want to consider moving out and letting the two of them take care of their children if it's going to burden you.

You only get one life, and you shouldn't have to spend it trying to help someone fix their mistakes.

Baconbits2004

ok I wonder why the hell hasnt anyone said "move out of the house and help your family financially, at least with a bit of money"lightleggy

If he has some to spare, sure. That's a nice idea.

I don't think he'll have enough extra to make much of a difference though, especially not at first.

[QUOTE="lightleggy"] ok I wonder why the hell hasnt anyone said "move out of the house and help your family financially, at least with a bit of money"Baconbits2004

If he has some to spare, sure. That's a nice idea.

I don't think he'll have enough extra to make much of a difference though, especially not at first.

It's your mothers life....not yours.:|LJS9502_basic

The solution to this problem is in your hands, TC. I think you should get a job and support your family financially.

It's time for you to flap your wings and fly far, far away. With three kids your mom should qualify for government assistance anyway. I'm not going to say whether or not she should get an abortion because that's simply not my business but at 25 you need to do something besides working from the house. Someone earlier mentioned the military but with just a GED nobodyis going to take you except the Army and that's only if you score high on the ASVAB and have a clean criminal background. You may want to just look into financial aid and taking communty college classes.

[QUOTE="PWSteal_Ldpinch"][QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]It's your mothers life....not yours.:|thegerg

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]It's your mothers life....not yours.:|PWSteal_Ldpinch