In the past few days I have noticed some particularly bad songs, artists, and music videos and it got me thinking. What are the worst of the worst in the music industry?
The following five are, in my opinion, the biggest blights on the music industry in history. Enjoy a good laugh and feel free to suggest things I missed. However, be wary, some of them are so bad that they may actually be entertaining.
Starting from the bottom...
5. "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI
Would a bad music list be complete without our very own Rick Astley? Brian of Family Guy once said "This is a song by a gay guy," and who would argue with him? Honestly, as bad as it is, it wouldn't have made the top five if it wasn't for the craze "rick rolling". For those of you who have been living under a Rick, sorry, I mean a rock (bad pun intended), rick rolling is the act of directing people to a video that they think is one thing (like claiming it's to a fun flash game or pics for a new game) that turns out to acually just be Rick Astley. I myself have been rick rolled at least three or four times thinking I was going to see a new Guitar Hero 4 set list, etc. The combination of the annoyance of being fooled with the fact that it's a terrible song and music video to begin with put him at number five on my list.
4. "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF0otWk2c04
This song makes the list due to three primary things. First, the music video was known to give seizures. Honestly, watch the video just for a bit and see how jerky it is (and on PURPOSE!). Interesting bit of trivia, ironically, back when it was released it was nominated for best special effects in a music video. Second, the band was full of itself enough to try and start a trend using THEIR NAME. "Everybody Wang Chung tonight." What exactly is Wang Chung? How does one do it? And why would anyone attempt to start a trend using that? And finally, it's simply a terrible song with no redeeming qualities. Any of those separately could be forgiven (or at least keep it off of the top five) but the combination makes for a terrible attempt at a song.
3. "Hooked On A Feeling" by David Hasselhoff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi2CfuqcUGE
Before you ask, yes, that is the David Hasselhoff you know and (probably don't) love. And yes he did make an unadvised foray into music. While he's not a terible singer, he IS incredibly cheesy (at one point in the song he raises his arms and flies away) which undermines what small singing ability he does have making a mockery of the song. And the music video is just ridiculous. Every time you think it can't get any worse, it does. Oh and on an interesting side note, look out for the thing that shows up at 1.45 and 3.15. If you have any idea what it is or WHY it has ANY reason to be in the music video let me know ;) .
2. Any song by AxCx.
I can't provide a link to this song as I can with the others for two reasons. First, because it's ALL the band's songs that are awful and not just one, but more importantly, because this is possibly the most intentionally offensive band in history. Not only is the self-proclaimed "grindcore" or "noisecore" (basically it tries to be the hardcore version of hardcore, hardcore of course being the hardcore version of screamo, really bad genre on the whole in my opinion) band absolutely awful to listen to and known to give earaches, but the lyrics are so terrible that they clinched a spot on this list. As mentioned, I can't link to their band (hint: AxCx is just an acronym for something offensive) but I can give some examples of their songs. We have the lovely "Women: Nature's Punching Bags," "You Were Pregnant So I Kicked You In The Stomach," and "I Sent Footage Of Concentration Camps To America's Funniest Videos." Enough said.
Disclaimer: I HIGHLY reccomend you do not look them up if you are a minor or otherwise easily offended.
1. "I Wanna Love You Tender" by Armi & Danny
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8610362188397291938
A relative dark horse tops off the list, and probably the least popular and well known of all. However, it only takes a few seconds into the music video to see why it ranks. While it may not have the worst lyrics, or the worst singers, or the worst beat, it's the combination of all of its awful elements that brings it to position number one. There are no words to describe the horror of this song until you watch it. We have some band in Finland to thank for this. It's not a song, it's an exercise in tolerance. You will either laugh or cry depending on how tolerant you are of a song/music video that defiles everything that music represents. I personally laughed ;)
And that's all folks. Enjoy! And let me know what you think of the list, offer suggestions, or even make your own list. I love hearing songs that are so awful they can be entertaining.
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