Title didn't make sense, but I felt like posting some Scandinavian related humors.
A young man walks through New York Chinatown and notices a shop with the name Hans Olaffsen's Laundry. He thought it seemed out of place but curiosity got the best of him and he walked into the shop. He sees an old Chinese man sitting in the corner.
He asked the old man, How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?
Old Man - That's the name of the owner.
Young Man - Who's the owner?
Old Man - I am.
Young Man - How did you get a name like Hans Olaffsen?
Old Man - Many years ago when I came to this country from Hong Kong, I was standing in line at Immigration. A man in front of me was a big blond Norwegian. The lady from Immigration asked him, What is your name? He say "Hans Olaffsen". Lady ask me, What is your name? I say Sam Ting.
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Ole was having eye trouble, so he went to see the optometrist. "Put this little gadget over your left eye, Ole," said the optometrist. "Now over the right eye, over the left eye. No, Ole, I said left eye. Now right . . . No Ole, your right eye!" Completely confused, Ole just looked at the optometrist. "Now, Ole," the optometrist continued, "just remember which is your left hand. OK, Ole, cover your right eye . . . No Ole, that's your left eye!" Finally in exasperation, the optometrist took a brown paper bag, cut a hole in it, put it over Ole's head, and moved the hole back and forth from the left eye to the right eye. "Now, Ole," asked the optometrist, "How is that?" "Vell, Doc, I guess it's all right," said Ole. "But I vas vishing I could have some wire rims like Sven."
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There was a sandwich machine in a Norwegian factory. Olaf didn't quite understand what the machine was about though. He went to the machine and put his money in the machine and got one sandwich. He was so excited, he put more of his money into the machine and received another sandwich. Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches.
Another worker was wondering what Olaf was doing:
- "Olaf, don't you think you should stop now?"
- "What the hell are you babbling about?! I am just starting to win big!"
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A Swede, a Norwegian and a Dane were arrested in France during the French revolution. They each got to choose which way they would die. The Norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. His head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. The French saw this as a sign from God or something and decided to let him go. The same thing happened to the Dane. Then they asked the Swede how he wanted to die. "I think I'll die by hanging, that guillotine doesn't work anyway," he said.
(It is a loving joke that the Swedes are not always the smartest, but of course this is certainly not true.)
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Sven and Ole went out duck hunting, and they worked at it for a couple hours and finally Sven says:
"I wonder why aren't we getting any ducks, Ole?"
"I don't know. I wonder if we're throwing the dog high enough."
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Now for some just plain funnies :D.
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