Please Rate This Song I Wrote

I call it "My Universe". The lyrics are kinda trippy in my opinion...

Look out, Mrs. Sun! There's Mr. Moon
Wearing a suit drenched in gray and blue
Don't grow weary of his borish demeanor
as you torture those on the earth's equator

Titania lacks the perpetual fields
of purple and rocks and dancing eels
Follow me as we go to earth
We'll see the aftermath of my birth

Chorus:
You can't make me leave you now
You can't make me leave you now... X2

I see you dressed in red,
and you can't hear what I just said
I'm much obliged to your time
as I try to get this song to rhyme

I just wish you had a clue
that I love, I love, I love you
Follow me, you don't need to rehearse
as you enter my universe

Chorus:
You can't make me leave you now
You can't make me leave you now... X2

Looks pretty good, but dont be surprised if someone copies your lyricsMrSprinkles09

It'd be pretty ironic if these lyrics arent his...

[QUOTE="MrSprinkles09"]Looks pretty good, but dont be surprised if someone copies your lyricsDenjin_hadouken

It'd be pretty ironic if HE was the one who copied someone else's lyrics...

[QUOTE="MrSprinkles09"]Looks pretty good, but dont be surprised if someone copies your lyricsDenjin_hadouken

It'd be pretty ironic if these lyrics arent his...

That sucked.MoonSpoon

Pretty cool. I like that, what kind of music would that be? Berzz

If people come in here and just say "it sucked" guess what you get time off.

As far as the song, not bad as far as I'm concerned. i would be careful about where you post it unless you already copyrighted it... The internet is a big place.

Once again, I apologize, but I would appreciate just afew more opinions

Weird!!!

I like it 9/10

Record it & I could tell you if its good or not. It looks and reads pretty smooth but I need a tune to know if I like it or not.

Once again, I apologize, but I would appreciate just afew more opinions

The_Madcap

Stop bumping your thread. If people want to comment they will.