Hi yall. im a 7.4; relationship stuff is dragging me down. Otherwise id be at a 9? IDK.
How about you?
Hi yall. im a 7.4; relationship stuff is dragging me down. Otherwise id be at a 9? IDK.
How about you?
5. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
Too much of a misanthropic cynic to be any higher (pff, those delusional idealists and happy-go-lucky saps), or lower (can't lose faith in humanity if you never had any).
3 I'm just numb all the time could use some stuff that I'm not allowed to talk about here but it has been proven to help depression. I just hope some day it will become legal so people don't have to suffer for decades with depression anti depressants don't work everyone.
9/10. I think the main reason is I do a lot of backpacking. So I travel every 1-2 months to different countries. It gives me a sense of high and calmness. Honestly, ever since I've been doing it my life has changed.
What could give me a 10/10 is if I complete my goal of growing my business. Crossing fingers for 2019.
3. I'm horribly dissatisfied with how my life is. I do have some goals that fill me with some hope but I tend to self sabotage.
I'd go with an 8. I've got a great career that I enjoy and supports our family with pretty much whatever we need, I get to travel but not too much, I have time for my interests, and with the exception of some particularly ultra luxury items I essentially "want" for nothing. Sure, there are job stresses and other little life concerns but keeping everything in perspective I'm extremely happy with where I am in life. The only reason I'd go as low as an 8 is because I could put some more effort into personal growth.
-Byshop
I wish I could express how painful it is to have clinical depression for over 20 years. I'm sure some of you will understand I can't imagine ever being really happy that's just life I guess.
I would say 7 because right now I have life sorted out for me. I am going to go college soon and the exams are not too much for me. Plus I get to game every single day, you know? Seven however because I stress so much its not good for me. Im nearly sixteen and already my mum is telling me to be careful otherwise I'll get white hair and I believe her. She recommended me getting into mindfulness but it just doesn't seem to do the trick...ironically I have a channel called Chill Out Zone, but its what I wish that I could do consistently.
Edit: Suddenly my happiness level this week is 2/10. Last week 9/10, lol. Perhaps I haven't had such a bad week in a long time.
- Had a production delay with my business, going to cost me money
- My dog is dying, already took him to the vet. Very little I can do.Usually can control things, but damn can't control this.
I'm at like a 2 or 3 atm. Have had crazy pain on the left side of my body this week, and woke up today to find I had a small rash just above my hip. Had to go to work afterwards and it was brutal.
Planning to go to the doctors tomorrow to find out what it is, and I'm worried they're going to say it's shingles. I'm only 26, wtf! ? Seemingly anyone who's had chickenpox before can catch it, but it's super rare. Fml.
I wish I could express how painful it is to have clinical depression for over 20 years. I'm sure some of you will understand I can't imagine ever being really happy that's just life I guess.
I was born into misery. Parents gave me misery.
I know how it be like. Can't even have a functional relationship with people because all I see is someone I probably shouldn't trust.
I wish I could express how painful it is to have clinical depression for over 20 years. I'm sure some of you will understand I can't imagine ever being really happy that's just life I guess.
I was born into misery. Parents gave me misery.
I know how it be like. Can't even have a functional relationship with people because all I see is someone I probably shouldn't trust.
Sorry you had to go through all of that.
I'd say a 9: Doing very well in my career which makes sure I do well financially, married the wife I love, got a baby with her who so far seems to learn faster than other babys her age. And despite all of this I still find time to play games.
@blackballs: Sorry to hear about your dog bro. ?
Yeah :( Already spent $500 on the vet, but now it seems like he can't move two of his legs. It's so sad as yesturday he was crying because he knew he couldn't stand up. I'm thinking about his quality of life, but it sucks cause' I know I have to say goodbye and euthanize but I wanted it to be after New Years. It's a bit selfish, I know but if I have to do it before it will break my heart and not a good way to end an otherwise amazing year.
Probably about a 2 or so. I have a nice family (parents and siblings), but no significant other. I don't meet a lot of women, and frankly I think I must have a weird look (creepy, rapist, weird...I don't know) because a lot of women just seem perturbed by me. I'm also 6'3" and the size of a small bear, so maybe they're scared? I don't know. And of course these belief only makes things worse because instead of going up to women and talking to them, all I can do is an awkward wave a or "hey" as I walk by.
I am overweight (an understatement). I lost 70 pounds since march with the help of a diet and exercise, but then went out with friends (something I never do), and that spiraled into a weekend of drinking and eating...I put on 25 pounds in about a week. So...8 months to lose 70 pounds...about five days to put back on a third of it.
You ever get the feeling that you are incomplete? That sounds so dramatic, but it's like...when you were put together, they forget to add something most other people have. Drive. Ambition. Social skills. Something other people take for granted.
Honestly I think I am just filled with so much self-loathing over my appearance, I just don't pursue anything. I am not suicidal, but I genuinely wish I did not exist. I don't want to be seen by anyone, but I want to do all these things.
A solid 10 of course.
Probably about a 2 or so. I have a nice family (parents and siblings), but no significant other. I don't meet a lot of women, and frankly I think I must have a weird look (creepy, rapist, weird...I don't know) because a lot of women just seem perturbed by me. I'm also 6'3" and the size of a small bear, so maybe they're scared? I don't know. And of course these belief only makes things worse because instead of going up to women and talking to them, all I can do is an awkward wave a or "hey" as I walk by.
I am overweight (an understatement). I lost 70 pounds since march with the help of a diet and exercise, but then went out with friends (something I never do), and that spiraled into a weekend of drinking and eating...I put on 25 pounds in about a week. So...8 months to lose 70 pounds...about five days to put back on a third of it.
You ever get the feeling that you are incomplete? That sounds so dramatic, but it's like...when you were put together, they forget to add something most other people have. Drive. Ambition. Social skills. Something other people take for granted.
Honestly I think I am just filled with so much self-loathing over my appearance, I just don't pursue anything. I am not suicidal, but I genuinely wish I did not exist. I don't want to be seen by anyone, but I want to do all these things.
Losing weight is a lifestyle change. Soon you will find it impossible to have those kind of weekends that you had before or eat anything close to what you ate when you were heavier. It takes time though, so don't rush it.
70 pounds since March is quite fast if you ask me. The weekend eating and drinking was probably a few thousand calories more than you needed, but I expect most of the weight to be just water. Was it a lot of salt food?
I would highly recommend some strength training.
@horgen: It was mostly water. I've lost about 10 of it in 4 days, almost back on track.
It was just upsetting because my goal was about 9 pounds/month and I messed it all up.
I was strength training but they changed my shift to a morning one, and at work I walk about 10 miles/day and do a lot of heavy lifting, so I am too tired to go afterwards. but yeah, I used to lift weights hardcore, it is/was a lot of fun and I plan on keeping it up. Muscle burns more calories, too, so the more muscle you have the faster you will burn fat.
@horgen: It was mostly water. I've lost about 10 of it in 4 days, almost back on track.
It was just upsetting because my goal was about 9 pounds/month and I messed it all up.
I was strength training but they changed my shift to a morning one, and at work I walk about 10 miles/day and do a lot of heavy lifting, so I am too tired to go afterwards. but yeah, I used to lift weights hardcore, it is/was a lot of fun and I plan on keeping it up. Muscle burns more calories, too, so the more muscle you have the faster you will burn fat.
When you're able, do some pull ups. Losing weights will make huge differences for you there :P
@blackballs: That's heartbreaking ? Seeing a dog in pain is one of the worst things ever imo. How old is he, and have they given him a diagnosis yet?
In the end you've got to do what's in your dog's best interests, but yeah I can totally understand wanting to prolong the time you two have together.
@blackballs: That's heartbreaking ? Seeing a dog in pain is one of the worst things ever imo. How old is he, and have they given him a diagnosis yet?
In the end you've got to do what's in your dog's best interests, but yeah I can totally understand wanting to prolong the time you two have together.
He's 14, but he's a massive dog. They say life usually for them is 12-15. So he's there.
So, by some miracle today we got a blanket and made him stand up and he finally walked after 4 days :) However, he did seem in a bit pain. We've been giving him like 7 different medicines to see if he responds, he appeared to be much better in terms of movement though.
He has cancer and severe arthritis.
Probably 8 or so. There's nothing in my life I have to worry about right now but I also figured I'd have a husband and kids already.
The lowest it can go. I'm filled with apathy and nihilism, and am effectively waiting until my parents die so I can then kill myself without the guilt of dying knowing I'll be putting them through the suffering of my premature passing. A tumor in my chest, Bipolar II. Daily chronic pain alongside mental torment. I spend about 15-18 hours a day in bed as it is, and sleep is the existence I crave and which never lasts long enough. This forum and gaming is essentially my life during this waking nightmare. I'm 41. I've no friends, no career, no independence, never been in love. I've only fought disease since I was 21. I'm filled with anger and hate. I'm chronically ill on double fronts which are difficult enough to deal with, much less to get out there and support myself and maintain some sort of social life that society deems adequate. Oh, but the judgement from those comes regardless. Those who've experienced nothing of pain a suffering yet think they have grounds to speak (and preach) about it.
It's over. I'm tired, and I've fought many many years with hope in my heart for a better future. That hope has faded, as has the fight in me. As such, therapy is pointless because I've come to the realization that I'm far past the point of wanting to help myself. I honestly don't care anymore. I'm simply waiting on my parents, and it is only my love for them that keeps me enduring this, but only really as a shell of a life. Asleep most of the time, drunk the rest. I think they understand that, I think they understand the alternative, and I'm at peace with it. It's actually quite liberating to not care whether I live or die, there's incredible power in it. Nobody can threaten me with anything, and in a way, I wish they would so I could find justification in ending this. My anger expresses this to them, but they never take the bait.
@blackballs: Ahh cancer and severe arthritis, I guess that can happen to us all when we get old. 14 is a great age for a bigger dog, and I'm sure he's had a wonderful life.
Just gotta keep an eye on him now, and be sure that he's not suffering too much pain. It is reassuring to hear that his movement has improved a lot thanks to the medication though!
You ever get the feeling that you are incomplete? That sounds so dramatic, but it's like...when you were put together, they forget to add something most other people have. Drive. Ambition. Social skills. Something other people take for granted.
I can understand this. Having spent most of my high school years pretty much alone and secluded with no real friends, as an adult I sometimes struggle socially. It's like that aspect of my personality underdeveloped. I have comfort zone issues - anything that might bypass my zone causes me some form of anxiety. I have a few great friends that I enjoy spending time with but invite me to parties or to hang out with strangers and my first reaction is to find an excuse to avoid that. I don't seem to enjoy the things that most people take for granted.
That is a major reason why I've never had a girlfriend or even kissed anyone. I just rarely meet new people. The couple of times that I finally got a chance to make a move on someone, I messed it up because of my overthinking. I'm also suspicious that I might even have failed on a subconscious level because getting a girlfriend would "violate" my comfort zone.
And I still have no idea if I'm considered attractive or not. I get looks from girls sometimes but other times I'm completely ignored. I do think I look a little weird. As a kid, I was considered popular and most girls liked me but I'm not sure if I'm equally attractive as an adult - I do look younger than my age. The other day I was waiting for my friends to show up so I decided to look around IKEA to pass the time and I realized I'm self-conscious and felt like I stood out. Low self-esteem? Maybe.
It's like as a kid, I was completely normal. Popular, enjoyed trying new things and hanging out with people. Whereas nowadays I'm totally different. Sometimes I feel like my older self is craving to live his life to the fullest but at the same time modern me can't take that.
Apart from this, I'm doing pretty good so there's my 6 in terms of happiness.
The lowest it can go. I'm filled with apathy and nihilism, and am effectively waiting until my parents die so I can then kill myself without the guilt of dying knowing I'll be putting them through the suffering of my premature passing. A tumor in my chest, Bipolar II. Daily chronic pain alongside mental torment. I spend about 15-18 hours a day in bed as it is, and sleep is the existence I crave and which never lasts long enough. This forum and gaming is essentially my life during this waking nightmare. I'm 41. I've no friends, no career, no independence, never been in love. I've only fought disease since I was 21. I'm filled with anger and hate. I'm chronically ill on double fronts which are difficult enough to deal with, much less to get out there and support myself and maintain some sort of social life that society deems adequate. Oh, but the judgement from those comes regardless. Those who've experienced nothing of pain a suffering yet think they have grounds to speak (and preach) about it.
It's over. I'm tired, and I've fought many many years with hope in my heart for a better future. That hope has faded, as has the fight in me. As such, therapy is pointless because I've come to the realization that I'm far past the point of wanting to help myself. I honestly don't care anymore. I'm simply waiting on my parents, and it is only my love for them that keeps me enduring this, but only really as a shell of a life. Asleep most of the time, drunk the rest. I think they understand that, I think they understand the alternative, and I'm at peace with it. It's actually quite liberating to not care whether I live or die, there's incredible power in it. Nobody can threaten me with anything, and in a way, I wish they would so I could find justification in ending this. My anger expresses this to them, but they never take the bait.
I live in the same Hell pretty much my only hope is Marijuana becomes legal next year in my state so I can numb the pain. Going through life sober and clean with clinical depression is torture. Also I have permanent health issues that I have to deal with for the rest of my life. When I see people happy and laughing in real life they look alien to me it's like they're speaking another language. The kids I grew up with probably think I'm dead which is not completely wrong since I'm isolated from social media and the world. I truly believe that people that have to suffer through life with no way to fix it should have the right to die legally. I mean whats the point of life if you can't enjoy any of it? hopefully someday we can get the peace we deserve.
The lowest it can go. I'm filled with apathy and nihilism, and am effectively waiting until my parents die so I can then kill myself without the guilt of dying knowing I'll be putting them through the suffering of my premature passing. A tumor in my chest, Bipolar II. Daily chronic pain alongside mental torment. I spend about 15-18 hours a day in bed as it is, and sleep is the existence I crave and which never lasts long enough. This forum and gaming is essentially my life during this waking nightmare. I'm 41. I've no friends, no career, no independence, never been in love. I've only fought disease since I was 21. I'm filled with anger and hate. I'm chronically ill on double fronts which are difficult enough to deal with, much less to get out there and support myself and maintain some sort of social life that society deems adequate. Oh, but the judgement from those comes regardless. Those who've experienced nothing of pain a suffering yet think they have grounds to speak (and preach) about it.
It's over. I'm tired, and I've fought many many years with hope in my heart for a better future. That hope has faded, as has the fight in me. As such, therapy is pointless because I've come to the realization that I'm far past the point of wanting to help myself. I honestly don't care anymore. I'm simply waiting on my parents, and it is only my love for them that keeps me enduring this, but only really as a shell of a life. Asleep most of the time, drunk the rest. I think they understand that, I think they understand the alternative, and I'm at peace with it. It's actually quite liberating to not care whether I live or die, there's incredible power in it. Nobody can threaten me with anything, and in a way, I wish they would so I could find justification in ending this. My anger expresses this to them, but they never take the bait.
I live in the same Hell pretty much my only hope is Marijuana becomes legal next year in my state so I can numb the pain. Going through life sober and clean with clinical depression is torture. Also I have permanent health issues that I have to deal with for the rest of my life. When I see people happy and laughing in real life they look alien to me it's like they're speaking another language. The kids I grew up with probably think I'm dead which is not completely wrong since I'm isolated from social media and the world. I truly believe that people that have to suffer through life with no way to fix it should have the right to die legally. I mean whats the point of life if you can't enjoy any of it? hopefully someday we can get the peace we deserve.
Smoke anyway? If it's a hope and it helps you, screw whether it's legal or not. I'm on opiates myself; they are the only thing that brings me a feeling of contentment in my life, however fleeting it always is. I'd be a smack junkie if I could assure myself a steady supply of it as there's no way I'm going through withdrawal again (been through twice now, never again). At least with Rx, my doctors oblige as long as I keep to contract and don't overuse. I have legitimate cause which is some consolation.
Nobody can tell us we have the obligation to live, anyone who's endured real suffering in their lives learns a degree of compassion to pass no judgement on those who choose not to live in it any longer. If a person lacks compassion, that's indicative they don't know real suffering. I know suffering enough to know that idealisms like "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" are nothing but naive, ignorant hogwash. Some things are permanent, they never relent, and suicide isn't cowardice, it isn't selfishness, it isn't weakness.....it's hopelessness. Everything else can be endured except the absence of that ray of hope. Absolute poverty is what kills.
The lowest it can go. I'm filled with apathy and nihilism, and am effectively waiting until my parents die so I can then kill myself without the guilt of dying knowing I'll be putting them through the suffering of my premature passing. A tumor in my chest, Bipolar II. Daily chronic pain alongside mental torment. I spend about 15-18 hours a day in bed as it is, and sleep is the existence I crave and which never lasts long enough. This forum and gaming is essentially my life during this waking nightmare. I'm 41. I've no friends, no career, no independence, never been in love. I've only fought disease since I was 21. I'm filled with anger and hate. I'm chronically ill on double fronts which are difficult enough to deal with, much less to get out there and support myself and maintain some sort of social life that society deems adequate. Oh, but the judgement from those comes regardless. Those who've experienced nothing of pain a suffering yet think they have grounds to speak (and preach) about it.
It's over. I'm tired, and I've fought many many years with hope in my heart for a better future. That hope has faded, as has the fight in me. As such, therapy is pointless because I've come to the realization that I'm far past the point of wanting to help myself. I honestly don't care anymore. I'm simply waiting on my parents, and it is only my love for them that keeps me enduring this, but only really as a shell of a life. Asleep most of the time, drunk the rest. I think they understand that, I think they understand the alternative, and I'm at peace with it. It's actually quite liberating to not care whether I live or die, there's incredible power in it. Nobody can threaten me with anything, and in a way, I wish they would so I could find justification in ending this. My anger expresses this to them, but they never take the bait.
I live in the same Hell pretty much my only hope is Marijuana becomes legal next year in my state so I can numb the pain. Going through life sober and clean with clinical depression is torture. Also I have permanent health issues that I have to deal with for the rest of my life. When I see people happy and laughing in real life they look alien to me it's like they're speaking another language. The kids I grew up with probably think I'm dead which is not completely wrong since I'm isolated from social media and the world. I truly believe that people that have to suffer through life with no way to fix it should have the right to die legally. I mean whats the point of life if you can't enjoy any of it? hopefully someday we can get the peace we deserve.
Smoke anyway? If it's a hope and it helps you, screw whether it's legal or not. I'm on opiates myself; they are the only thing that brings me a feeling of contentment in my life, however fleeting it always is. I'd be a smack junkie if I could assure myself a steady supply of it as there's no way I'm going through withdrawal again (been through twice now, never again). At least with Rx, my doctors oblige as long as I keep to contract and don't overuse. I have legitimate cause which is some consolation.
Nobody can tell us we have the obligation to live, anyone who's endured real suffering in their lives learns a degree of compassion to pass no judgement on those who choose not to live in it any longer. If a person lacks compassion, that's indicative they don't know real suffering. I know suffering enough to know that idealisms like "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" are nothing but naive, ignorant hogwash. Some things are permanent, they never relent, and suicide isn't cowardice, it isn't selfishness, it isn't weakness.....it's hopelessness. Everything else can be endured except the absence of that ray of hope. Absolute poverty is what kills.
100 Percent Agree
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