So Your Girlfriend / Boyfriend is Depressed

Okay OT. Here's a scenario. Which could very soon be my problem. Your partner is becoming more and more depressed, to the point where when even when you're both together, all they can do is stare at the floor and cry. It's getting to the point where you're becoming depressed because you know that nothing you do can make them happy even for a moment. At what point do you think about breaking up with them, or wouldn't you in case they self harmed or something?

Seriously, this is not far removed from my current situation :(

find out why their crying and depressed, if you can't fix the problem yourself or with help, let them go.

Straight up dumping her seems kind of selfish. She's the one suffering, not you. You have to remember that. Even if the situation isn't exactly great for either of you, the worst thing you could do is break up with her instead of getting to the heart of the situation.

If all my various suggestions and attempts at cheering him up continue to fail then I'd definitely break up with him immediately--my boyfriend is suppose to be the reason i'm smiling and i'm sure he expects the same out of me. If we aren't happy around each other then it's best to call it quits; The best I can do is pray for him. If he wants to cause himself harm over it then that's his problem. I really don't want to be around someone like that--life is too stressful enough as it is to be dealing with someone else's issues.

@XilePrincess: Her selfharming isn't a reason for me to want to break up with her. I meant that I'd be afraid of breaking up with her in case she started slef harming. I try to support her through everything but she doesn't know what she wants to do. I tell her to not worry about what everyone else wants her to do and to just do what she wants. She tells me she doesn't even know what she wants anymore. We're meeting again on Friday or Saturday to try and sort it out.

@jubino: Believe me I am trying to get to the root of her problems. I'd love to just help her through everything rather than break up with her but it feels like it's becoming more and more hopeless. Hence my dilemma.

@TecmoGirl: I would have to agree with most of your points but being in the situation myself makes me wary about what I should be doing.

I'ld stay with them and try and get them to talk about what was making them so upset. What i do from there depends on what they say but talking about it should solve the problem to some degree. If she was SHing i'ld tell her not to feel embaressed about it and to try just talking to me before she SHs, if she cut herself i'ld make sure they were clean and sterile. If it went on for a long time i'ld encorage them to go get proffesional help, perhaps going with her to therepy.markop2003

[There's no way I could ever do that. It doesn't help the problem at all. Sure you make sure she's "safe" while SHing but it's only adding to the problem if you're not finding a way to get her to stop doing it.

Murj

I wouldnt break up with them. I would try to make them open up to me and help them out in any way I can. It would be my pleasure to help a person I love/deeply like.

Btw I have never been in a relationship so take that into consideration when reading the above.

Get her some flowers. No girl can resist a good boquet of flowers. And just tell her you'll be there for her if she needs you.

A few things how long have you been together? How much do you truly love her?

You should try to talk and make her feel better, sure. But for how long? You shouldn't be with someone who is making you feel depressed also. Pity is a poor excuse to be in a relationship with anyone.

First I would try to figure out what is wrong and then I try and do something about it. If I can't then I buy them cookies and ice cream and see if that cheers them up.

@XilePrincess: Her selfharming isn't a reason for me to want to break up with her. I meant that I'd be afraid of breaking up with her in case she started slef harming. I try to support her through everything but she doesn't know what she wants to do. I tell her to not worry about what everyone else wants her to do and to just do what she wants. She tells me she doesn't even know what she wants anymore. We're meeting again on Friday or Saturday to try and sort it out.

Murj