I am here to tell you that everything that you have been told about God, our Lord, the Almighty, our Savior, is wrong. There is only one true Savior, one true Lord, and His name is Batman.
Born Bruce Wayne, our Lord the Dark Knight rose to wage a never ending crusade against the evil, corruption, sin, and immoralities that plague the human heart. Fighting a war of righteousness in a world rife with vice, He took on demon after demon, fighting multiple battles against the Devil himself, the Evil One, he who makes us question everything that we as humans should stand for. He suffers multiple losses in His war against evil, losing His parents, losing the ones closest to Him, and yet He never stops. He always returns. Even after being killed and injured multiple times, He always Rises from the Darkness, and fights off evil, fighting a never ending war. For our benefit. So that we may be rid of the sins that plague society. So that we may sleep safer, feel safer. So that we can leave our homes in the safety of the Night.
He takes the fall for our sins. he crucifies himself, so that mankind may not suffer.
He is Vengeance.
He is the Night.
He is Batman. The Dark Knight. The Caped Crusader. All shall ackowledge him, his beauty, his glory, or all shall be condemned to never ending torment by The Joker, an eternal damnation.
In Fonzies name we pray. 
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