To every english native speakers! (Essay help) :)

Hey guys. The deadline is for tommorow so i need to ensure if i have done this correctly, check any grammer error if you can please. I am from Norway and i don't know if this is good enough. I'll let you guys judge it. Thank you. =)

(Note: They are censoring life''s.t.y.l.e'' weird.

Short Story Analysis

Synopsis

Themes, Setting, Plot and Characters.

''Thank you Ma'm''

Themes

Thank you M'am's story primarily falls within the urban opera genre and explores themes such as urban life**** redemption and robbery. The story is very common to modern life****in the urban street where poor kids try to snatch purse from defenseless adults.

Setting

Thank you M'am is set in the racism era where the African American lived their life of poor economic life**** According to the author Langston Hughes, this was written around the 1930's where racism were a huge topic in the southern state. Back in that era many African Americans had problem looking for a job or getting job. The time when poverty was needed, and the rubbish society where the black had to fight for their freedom.

Plot

The story begins on a dark night a big black woman (Known as Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones) is walking down the street alone and fearless. The author wanted the readers to know walking in the street alone in that time, if you are black is dangerous. As she wanders in the dark, a white boy ambushed her from behind by snatching her purse. Unfortunately, the purse weighted too much for the boy (Roger) thus then he fell to the ground. The large woman immediately grabbed the boy and then this is how it goes.

As the plot progressing, the woman takes the boy to her house and shows her humble and generous expression to the boy. She treated the boy with utter respect. Roger planned to make his escape although he was too scared to make such hesitation. Mrs. Luella is a spiritual person believing in god. Even the boy did something wrong she still gave him a chance. She even gave him ten dollars to buy himself a blue suede shoes. This is an act of redemption.

And in the end Mrs. Luella released the boy, he wanted to say something unfortunately he didn't and then Mrs. Luella shut the door.

Characters

Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones is one of the first characters to appear in the short story. She is generous, humble, spiritual and passion. Her name comes from the slavery in 1620 era.

Mrs. Luella job is in a hotel beauty shop that stayed open late. She lives in a small house and share rooms with other roomers. She is a spiritual person, when she tells the boy that she did bad things in her life as well, this is how it goes ''I have done things too, which I would not tell you, son – neither tell god, if he didn't already know'' As in general many people make their redemption. So did Mrs. Luella by giving the boy a chance in life and giving him 10 bucks to buy himself a pair blue suede shoes since he wanted it so really bad.

Roger is the second character to appear in the short story. A ruthless boy and very unforgiving. His goal was to snatch a purse from a defenseless woman (which he thought) yet unfortunately he failed. He has to be skinny if he couldn't possess the weight of the purse, even then he got owned by the black large woman. When inside the house, Mrs. Luella went out of sight and the boy had his chance to make his escape. And the purse was lying on the bed, he could snatch it and run away. Thus instead, he stayed. He even tried to ask her if she needed milk he could go to store and buy it. In the end, he couldn't resist to thank Mrs. Luella.

My opinions

The short story was an easy story to read and understand. What I believe is Author Langston Hughes wanted the readers to understand that the African Americans are not vile or low educated. They have emotion, understanding and supportive. I don't know any background story of Mrs. Luella, she has to be married by looking at her name and somehow she was raised during the slavery era by the name she was given. As for the boy he is poor I guess.

I wonder what he was doing so late, where are his parents shouldn't they take care of him or something? Maybe their parents were racist? Or maybe they don't care about him anymore because he is ruthless. Again, he wanted a new pair of shoes, he could just ask Mrs. Luella instead of snatching her purse. Guess he learned his lesson. Nevertheless, I have no more to say about this.

Hey guys. The deadline is for tommorow so i need to ensure if i have done this correctly, check any grammer error if you can please. I am from Norway and i don't know if this is good enough. I'll let you guys judge it. Thank you. =)

Short Story Analysis

Synopsis

Themes, Setting, Plot and Characters.

''Thank you Ma'm''

Themes

"Thank you M'am's" story primarily falls within the urban opera genre, and explores themes such as urban life****, redemption and robbery. The story is akin to modern life on the street, where poor kids try to snatch purse from defenseless adults.

Setting

"Thank you M'am" is set in the racism era, where the African-Americans lived their lives with little money. According to the author, Langston Hughes, this was written around the 1930's, where racism was common in the Southern states. Back in that era, many African Americans had problems looking for a job or getting a job. The time when poverty was rife, and the terrible society where the Blacks had to fight for their freedom.

Plot

The story begins on a dark night. A big, black woman (Known as Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones) is walking down the street, alone and fearless. The author wanted the readers to know that walking in the street alone in that time was dangerous, especially if you were black. As she wanders in the dark, a white boy ambushes her from behind by snatching her purse. Unfortunately, the purse weighs too much for the boy (Roger) so he falls to the ground. The large woman immediately grabs the boy, and the story continues:

As the plot progresses, the woman takes the boy to her house, and shows her humble and generous personality to the boy. She treats the boy with utter respect. Roger planned to make his escape, but he was too scared to do so. Mrs. Luella is a spiritual person, believing in God. Even if the boy did something wrong she still gave him a chance. She even gave him ten dollars to buy himself blue suede shoes. This is an act of redemption.

And in the end Mrs. Luella releases the boy. He wanted to say something, though unfortunately he didn't, and then Mrs. Luella shut the door.

Characters

Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones is one of the first characters to appear in the short story. She is generous, humble, spiritual and passionate. Her name comes from the 1620 slave era.

Mrs. Luella works in a hotel beauty shop that stays open late. She lives in a small house and shares rooms with other people. She is a spiritual person; when she tells the boy that she did bad things in her life as well, she says this - ''I have done things too, which I would not tell you, son – neither tell God, if he didn't already know.'' Many people try too redeem themselves in life, as Mrs. Luella did by giving the boy a chance in life and giving him 10 bucks to buy himself a pair of blue suede shoes since he wanted it so much.

Roger is the second character to appear in the short story. He is a ruthless boy, and very unforgiving. His goal was to snatch a purse from a defenseless woman (or so he thought), yet unfortunately he failed. It makes sense that he is skinny, as he was unable to lift the purse, and was easily subdued by the woman. When inside the house, Mrs. Luella went out of sight and the boy had his chance to make his escape. And the purse was lying on the bed; he could snatch it and run away. But instead, he stayed. He even tried to tell her that if she needed milk, he could go to store and buy it. In the end, he couldn't resist thanking Mrs. Luella.

My opinions

The short story was an easy story to read and understand. What I believe Author Langston Hughes wanted the readers to understand was that the African-Americans are not vile or poorly educated. They have emotion, understanding and are supportive. I don't know of Mrs Luella's background story; she has to be married by looking at her name, and somehow she was raised during the slavery era by the name she was given. As for the boy; I can draw little deduction apart from the fact that he is poor.

I wonder what he was doing out so late; where are his parents, and shouldn't they take care of him? Maybe they don't care about him anymore because of his ruthless nature. I think Roger learned his lesson not to steal.

Welis

There - I corrected the whole thing. I'd better get cookies or something.

Do your own essay.darksword1123

Do your own essay.darksword1123

He did?

He was just wanting a critique

[QUOTE="darksword1123"]Do your own essay.ATKisNeat

He did?

He was just wanting a critique

Exactly what ATKisNeat said. I am from Norway and when it comes to grammer and vocabulary it can be a difficult task. Other than that, i thank you all for at least giving time to look into it. Thanks Bangel99. And sorry for double posting.

I didn't read the whole thing.. but I just saw this line:

A big, black woman (Known as Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones) is walking down the street, alone and fearless.

I'm not sure if you were told to do that.. but you aren't suppossed to put a description like that in parentheseis. It SHOULD be: Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones, a big black woman is walking down the street, alone and fearless.

But you can make it sound even better:

Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones, a large African American woman, walks down the street alone and fearless.

I do 11Marcel. As long as it is not plagiarism, i have my rights to have somebody helping me correcting some grammars. Not writing a essay to me so i can send it in and make it as my own result.Welis

I didn't read the whole thing.. but I just saw this line:

A big, black woman (Known as Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones) is walking down the street, alone and fearless.

I'm not sure if you were told to do that.. but you aren't suppossed to put a description like that in parentheseis. It SHOULD be: Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones, a big black woman is walking down the street, alone and fearless.

But you can make it sound even better:

Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones, a large African American woman, walks down the street alone and fearless.

The_Mac_Daddy

I'm glad to hear you are supporting this as well. Thanks The_Mac_Daddy. :)

You need to put the emphasis on analysis. I doubt your teacher just wants you to retell what's happening in the story.

I don't know, if this is what you have to do wherever yuor from, but we had to pick out quotes, and analyse them, demonstrate the author's intentions, and elaborate on the intended effect upon the reader.

EDIT:

Why did the author chose that setting?
how do the characters interact, and how does this affect the reader's perceptions of those characters?
How did the author use language?

You need to take these factors into account. Remember the primary purpose of the essay is to analyse!!

Hey guys. The deadline is for tommorow so i need to ensure if i have done this correctly, check any grammer error if you can please. I am from Norway and i don't know if this is good enough. I'll let you guys judge it. Thank you. =)

(Note: They are censoring life''s.t.y.l.e'' weird.

Short Story Analysis

Synopsis

Themes, Setting, Plot and Characters.

''Thank you Ma'm''

If this is the title of the story, then you need to capitalise "you," since "you" is a pronoun.

Themes

Thank you M'am's story primarily falls within the urban opera genre and explores themes such as urban life**** (comma goes here) redemption and robbery. The story is very common to modern life****in the urban street(s) where poor kids try to snatch purse(s) from defenseless adults.

Setting

Thank you M'am is set in the racism era where the African American(s) lived their life ("lives") of poor economic life**** (period goes here) According to the author Langston Hughes, this was written around the 1930's (the apostrophe is unnecessary here) where racism were ("was") a huge topic in the southern (capital "S") state(s). Back in that era many African Americans had problem(s) looking for a job or getting job(s). The time when poverty was needed (? Poverty was needed?), and the rubbish society where the black (people) had to fight for their freedom.

Plot

The story begins on a dark night (colon goes here; consider revising this into a sentence) a big black woman (Known as Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones) is walking down the street alone and fearless. The author wanted the readers to know walking in the street alone in that time, (comma is unnecessary) if you are black is dangerous. As she wanders in the dark, a white boy ambushed (be careful; you just changed from present tense to past tense. Change this to "ambushes") her from behind by snatching her purse. Unfortunately, the purse weighted ("weighed") too much for the boy ("Who was called" Roger) (comma goes here) thus then he fell to the ground. The large woman (consider calling her by name from now on, now that you've introduced her) immediately grabbed the boy (consider calling him by name from now on) and then this is how it goes (colon goes here instead of the period).

As the plot progressing ("progresses"), the woman takes the boy to her house and shows her humble and generous expression to the boy. (this sentence does not make sense) She treated the boy with utter respect. Roger planned to make his escape although he was too scared to make such hesitation. (this makes no sense. Hesitation is when you pause, and this is not something you'd expect Roger to do in this sentence) Mrs. Luella is a spiritual person believing in ("who believes in") god. Even ("though") the boy did something wrong she still gave him a chance (you slipped tenses again). She even gave him ten dollars to buy himself a ("pair of") blue suede shoes. This is an act of redemption.

And in the end Mrs. Luella released the boy, (semicolon goes here instead of the comma) he wanted to say something (, "but") unfortunately he didn't and then Mrs. Luella shut the door.

Characters

Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones is one of the first characters to appear in the short story. She is generous, humble, spiritual and passion ("passionate"). Her name comes from the slavery in 1620 era (This sentence makes no sense. Consider changing to "her name was given to her by slave owners in the 1620s").

Mrs. Luella('s) job is in a hotel beauty shop that stayed open late. She lives in a small house and share (s) rooms with other roomers ("roomates"). She is a spiritual person, (semicolon goes here instead of comma) when she tells the boy that she did bad things in her life as well, this is how it goes (colon goes here) ''I have done things too, which I would not tell you, son – neither tell god, if he didn't already know (period goes here)'' As in general many people make their redemption. (comma goes here in place of period) So did Mrs. Luella by giving the boy a chance in life and ("by") giving him 10 bucks to buy himself a pair ("of") blue suede shoes since he wanted it so really bad.

Roger is the second character to appear in the short story. A ruthless boy and very unforgiving. (change this to a comma; it is a sentence fragment otherwise) His goal was to snatch a purse from a defenseless woman (which he thought) ("(or so he thought)") yet unfortunately (consider changing to "fortunately") he failed. He has to be skinny if he couldn't possess ("carry") the weight of the purse, (instead of "even then," try "because of this" and change the comma to a semicolon) even then he got owned (I wouldn't advice using the word "owned" in an essay. Instead, consider using "pummeled") by the black large woman. When inside the house, Mrs. Luella went out of sight and the boy had his chance to make his escape. And the purse was lying on the bed, he could snatch it and run away. Thus ("thus" doesn't fit here) instead, he stayed. He even tried to ask her if she needed milk (semicolon goes here) he could go to store and buy it. In the end, he couldn't resist to thank Mrs. Luella.

My opinions

The short story was an easy story to read and understand. What I believe is ("is" doesn't go here) Author Langston Hughes wanted the readers to understand ("is" goes here) that the African Americans are not vile or low (consider changing to "poorly") educated. They have emotion(s), understanding and ("are") supportive (of what? Consider broadening this point). I don't know any (consider changing to "the") background story of Mrs. Luella, (semicolon goes here in place of comma) she has to be married by looking at her name and somehow she was raised during the slavery era by (consider changing to "with") the name she was given. As for the boy (comma goes here) he is poor (comma goes here) I guess.

I wonder what he was doing so late, (semicolon goes here in place of comma) where are his parents(?)(S)houldn't they take care of him or something? Maybe their ("his") parents were racist? Or maybe they don't care about him anymore because he is ruthless. Again, he wanted a new pair of shoes, ("so") he could just ask Mrs. Luella instead of snatching her purse. Guess he learned his lesson. Nevertheless, ("Nevertheless" doesn't fit here) I have no more to say about this.

Welis

My comments in red. If English isn't your first language, then this was pretty good.

Alright folks it's done. /Thread (Thanks to everyone)Welis

Done? But. . . .but. . . . . .:cry:

[QUOTE="Welis"]Alright folks it's done. /Thread (Thanks to everyone)Theokhoth

Done? But. . . .but. . . . . .:cry:

Lol, you are late and you still missed some things too! :P

well done Theokhoth, now i know who ill be mailing with my essays :Pibiza563

I'm glad someone liked it. . . .but the TC. . . he has left. . . .:cry:

[QUOTE="Welis"]

Hey guys. The deadline is for tommorow so i need to ensure if i have done this correctly, check any grammer error if you can please. I am from Norway and i don't know if this is good enough. I'll let you guys judge it. Thank you. =)

(Note: They are censoring life''s.t.y.l.e'' weird.

Short Story Analysis

Synopsis

Themes, Setting, Plot and Characters.

''Thank you Ma'm''

If this is the title of the story, then you need to capitalise "you," since "you" is a pronoun.

Themes

Thank you M'am's story primarily falls within the urban opera genre and explores themes such as urban life**** (comma goes here) redemption and robbery. The story is very common to modern life****in the urban street(s) where poor kids try to snatch purse(s) from defenseless adults.

Setting

Thank you M'am is set in the racism era where the African American(s) lived their life ("lives") of poor economic life**** (period goes here) According to the author Langston Hughes, this was written around the 1930's (the apostrophe is unnecessary here) where racism were ("was") a huge topic in the southern (capital "S") state(s). Back in that era many African Americans had problem(s) looking for a job or getting job(s). The time when poverty was needed (? Poverty was needed?), and the rubbish society where the black (people) had to fight for their freedom.

Plot

The story begins on a dark night (colon goes here; consider revising this into a sentence) a big black woman (Known as Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones) is walking down the street alone and fearless. The author wanted the readers to know walking in the street alone in that time, (comma is unnecessary) if you are black is dangerous. As she wanders in the dark, a white boy ambushed (be careful; you just changed from present tense to past tense. Change this to "ambushes") her from behind by snatching her purse. Unfortunately, the purse weighted ("weighed") too much for the boy ("Who was called" Roger) (comma goes here) thus then he fell to the ground. The large woman (consider calling her by name from now on, now that you've introduced her) immediately grabbed the boy (consider calling him by name from now on) and then this is how it goes (colon goes here instead of the period).

As the plot progressing ("progresses"), the woman takes the boy to her house and shows her humble and generous expression to the boy. (this sentence does not make sense) She treated the boy with utter respect. Roger planned to make his escape although he was too scared to make such hesitation. (this makes no sense. Hesitation is when you pause, and this is not something you'd expect Roger to do in this sentence) Mrs. Luella is a spiritual person believing in ("who believes in") god. Even ("though") the boy did something wrong she still gave him a chance (you slipped tenses again). She even gave him ten dollars to buy himself a ("pair of") blue suede shoes. This is an act of redemption.

And in the end Mrs. Luella released the boy, (semicolon goes here instead of the comma) he wanted to say something (, "but") unfortunately he didn't and then Mrs. Luella shut the door.

Characters

Mrs. Luella Bates Washington Jones is one of the first characters to appear in the short story. She is generous, humble, spiritual and passion ("passionate"). Her name comes from the slavery in 1620 era (This sentence makes no sense. Consider changing to "her name was given to her by slave owners in the 1620s").

Mrs. Luella('s) job is in a hotel beauty shop that stayed open late. She lives in a small house and share (s) rooms with other roomers ("roomates"). She is a spiritual person, (semicolon goes here instead of comma) when she tells the boy that she did bad things in her life as well, this is how it goes (colon goes here) ''I have done things too, which I would not tell you, son – neither tell god, if he didn't already know (period goes here)'' As in general many people make their redemption. (comma goes here in place of period) So did Mrs. Luella by giving the boy a chance in life and ("by") giving him 10 bucks to buy himself a pair ("of") blue suede shoes since he wanted it so really bad.

Roger is the second character to appear in the short story. A ruthless boy and very unforgiving. (change this to a comma; it is a sentence fragment otherwise) His goal was to snatch a purse from a defenseless woman (which he thought) ("(or so he thought)") yet unfortunately (consider changing to "fortunately") he failed. He has to be skinny if he couldn't possess ("carry") the weight of the purse, (instead of "even then," try "because of this" and change the comma to a semicolon) even then he got owned (I wouldn't advice using the word "owned" in an essay. Instead, consider using "pummeled") by the black large woman. When inside the house, Mrs. Luella went out of sight and the boy had his chance to make his escape. And the purse was lying on the bed, he could snatch it and run away. Thus ("thus" doesn't fit here) instead, he stayed. He even tried to ask her if she needed milk (semicolon goes here) he could go to store and buy it. In the end, he couldn't resist to thank Mrs. Luella.

My opinions

The short story was an easy story to read and understand. What I believe is ("is" doesn't go here) Author Langston Hughes wanted the readers to understand ("is" goes here) that the African Americans are not vile or low (consider changing to "poorly") educated. They have emotion(s), understanding and ("are") supportive (of what? Consider broadening this point). I don't know any (consider changing to "the") background story of Mrs. Luella, (semicolon goes here in place of comma) she has to be married by looking at her name and somehow she was raised during the slavery era by (consider changing to "with") the name she was given. As for the boy (comma goes here) he is poor (comma goes here) I guess.

I wonder what he was doing so late, (semicolon goes here in place of comma) where are his parents(?)(S)houldn't they take care of him or something? Maybe their ("his") parents were racist? Or maybe they don't care about him anymore because he is ruthless. Again, he wanted a new pair of shoes, ("so") he could just ask Mrs. Luella instead of snatching her purse. Guess he learned his lesson. Nevertheless, ("Nevertheless" doesn't fit here) I have no more to say about this.

Theokhoth

My comments in red. If English isn't your first language, then this was pretty good.

WOW.. something went wrong here. Anyway i'll repost of what i wrote.

Oh my god, nice one mate. You've put some effort into this and i really like it. This could be a good grammar teaching for me to learn. I'm happy that you care and the rest. Thanks so much i'll take a look into this. And oh by the way, english is my second langauge. ;)