Well dudes, its over, and Im left in the dust....

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THE_BRUTALIZER

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#1 THE_BRUTALIZER
Member since 2008 • 3488 Posts

Yeah. I posted here last night about me and my girlfriend, whether or not if I should trust her. And you guys gave me some great points, but in the end, they all talked about a separation...

And finally, me and my girlfriend just broke up. I tried to tell her how unwanted I felt with her giving attention to all these other guys, and I tried to explain how hard it was for me to trust her. Surely enough, she became furious, I played the defense, trying to calm her down, it just got worse and worse. Then she explained how I reminded her of a past boyfriend, and how she has been seeing someone else. OH REALLY?? For those who were here last night, it was the guy who was sleeping over at her house. I was LETTING my girlfriend cheat on me before my own eyes. Not once, but twice.

So now, somehow she broke up with me, and I feel so lost. I realize that I have been focusing everything on her. I hate the thought of going back to school now. I started playing video games again, like mad. But really, I feel lost, guys. For so long I felt unwanted, and now Im alone again.

What should I do now?? I had plans for her to come over Tueday through Thursday to hang out, and meet my family. We were even going to celebrate thanksgiving together. Now I have to tell everyone that Im alone again. I have NOTHING to do all week. I cant really hang with friends, they have other plans.

Long story short, Im depressed and Im lost. What should I do? I feel like I dont want to do anything. Do I just carry on my normal life, and wait for school on monday, like usual? Thats almost too depressing, to just return to a normal routine, only without a partner, without something to cheer me up through the day, without any of the luxuries of a partner. What now?

:( At least this puts an end to my desperate girlfriend threads.....thanks dudes.

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dave123321

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#2 dave123321
Member since 2003 • 35554 Posts
Going back to the normal routine would be the thing to do. It's going to be hard but it's for the best.
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duxup

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#3 duxup
Member since 2002 • 43443 Posts
Find a girl who likes you.
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cyberdarkkid

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#5 cyberdarkkid
Member since 2007 • 16777 Posts

Just find some distractions, time will heal you so try to avoid thinking about it as much as you can for now.

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AxeStrangler

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#6 AxeStrangler
Member since 2007 • 1889 Posts

carry on normally man, that's life. Your young so you shouldn't worry about being in a relationship right now.

Oh yeah, and I hope you learn a lesson here, don't be so submissive to women.

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gamertylers

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#7 gamertylers
Member since 2005 • 1977 Posts
The feeling sucks, but hopefully now you can find a girl that you can trust and that actually cares about you.
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SouL-Tak3R

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#8 SouL-Tak3R
Member since 2005 • 4024 Posts

Enoy the single life for awhile then get a new girl. For every great girl, there is another you haven't met yet. More fish in the sea as they say.

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trust_nobody

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#9 trust_nobody
Member since 2003 • 3356 Posts

Find a girl who likes you.duxup


Yeah. Don't do this.

Stay single for a while, from what you said last night I see a pattern in your neglegence to yourself, and I think you really need to work on you and not even think about "relationships" right now champ. I respect you, it's time for you to do the same.

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ASRCSR

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#10 ASRCSR
Member since 2008 • 2793 Posts

Just do your normal routine. I don't know if this makes you feel better or not but i think you made the right decision.

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LostProphetFLCL

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#11 LostProphetFLCL
Member since 2006 • 18526 Posts

I am sorry but you are better off and you will see that in time.

It sucks when things that seem great at first turn out to be crap. She wasn't worth much of anything though by the way she was "getting around" so you can just find someone better than her.

One thing I have learned from experience is that no matter what you might think after a heartbreak, you always end up finding another person whom you love.

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THE_BRUTALIZER

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#12 THE_BRUTALIZER
Member since 2008 • 3488 Posts

carry on normally man, that's life. Your young so you shouldn't worry about being in a relationship right now.

Oh yeah, and I hope you learn a lesson here, don't be so submissive to women.

AxeStrangler
I learned a great lesson, I cant be so obsessive. It hurts so....bad....
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MuddVader

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#13 MuddVader
Member since 2007 • 6326 Posts

Honestly

once she laid that cheating bomb on you

you should have said
"You know what, I was right not to trust you. I'm sorry, and I loved you, but this relationship ending, especially now.. is your fault.
Were done."
and than just walked away or asked her to leave, whatever was appropriate.

I feel that you are better off without her.
If you dont love someone enough to say no to sex with another person when you are dedicated to a partner, you dont love that partner enough for things to last anyways.

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Espada12

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#14 Espada12
Member since 2008 • 23247 Posts

Play some video games and enjoy being stress free for a while :D

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needled24-7

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#15 needled24-7
Member since 2007 • 15902 Posts

better now than later, my friend, just think of it that way

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THE_BRUTALIZER

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#16 THE_BRUTALIZER
Member since 2008 • 3488 Posts

Enoy the single life for awhile then get a new girl. For every great girl, there is another you haven't met yet. More fish in the sea as they say.

SouL-Tak3R
The last thing I can think about right now is another girl......I still have this girl in my head, and I still like her, and want her BAADDD. But thats over with. Its so hard to accept, but I guess everyone else is right....just distract myself and move on...
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AxeStrangler

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#17 AxeStrangler
Member since 2007 • 1889 Posts
[QUOTE="AxeStrangler"]

carry on normally man, that's life. Your young so you shouldn't worry about being in a relationship right now.

Oh yeah, and I hope you learn a lesson here, don't be so submissive to women.

THE_BRUTALIZER
I learned a great lesson, I cant be so obsessive. It hurts so....bad....

yeah man, I've been there, just do something to get her of your mind. Listen to music or play an instrument, that's what I do.
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Ultrabeatdown55

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#18 Ultrabeatdown55
Member since 2008 • 15314 Posts

If the only thing that can make you happy is a partner, you need some serious help...

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MuddVader

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#20 MuddVader
Member since 2007 • 6326 Posts
[QUOTE="SouL-Tak3R"]

Enoy the single life for awhile then get a new girl. For every great girl, there is another you haven't met yet. More fish in the sea as they say.

THE_BRUTALIZER
The last thing I can think about right now is another girl......I still have this girl in my head, and I still like her, and want her BAADDD. But thats over with. Its so hard to accept, but I guess everyone else is right....just distract myself and move on...

She cheated on you. Get that through your head.. Thats not something small.. You cannot trust a cheater.
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needled24-7

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#21 needled24-7
Member since 2007 • 15902 Posts
[QUOTE="SouL-Tak3R"]

Enoy the single life for awhile then get a new girl. For every great girl, there is another you haven't met yet. More fish in the sea as they say.

THE_BRUTALIZER
The last thing I can think about right now is another girl......I still have this girl in my head, and I still like her, and want her BAADDD. But thats over with. Its so hard to accept, but I guess everyone else is right....just distract myself and move on...

i think you're just addicted to the *****. happens to everyone
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MuddVader

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#22 MuddVader
Member since 2007 • 6326 Posts

If the only thing that can make you happy is a partner, you need some serious help...

Ultrabeatdown55

Not true, but he does need to realise that he lived many many years as we all do untill we grow up, without a partner, and he can manage to live life again without a partner =P

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THE_BRUTALIZER

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#23 THE_BRUTALIZER
Member since 2008 • 3488 Posts

Honestly

once she laid that cheating bomb on you

you should have said
"You know what, I was right not to trust you. I'm sorry, and I loved you, but this relationship ending, especially now.. is your fault.
Were done."
and than just walked away or asked her to leave, whatever was appropriate.

I feel that you are better off without her.
If you dont love someone enough to say no to sex with another person when you are dedicated to a partner, you dont love that partner enough for things to last anyways.

MuddVader

Wow. Well thanks man. And we arent done talking about everything. Her phone went dead, and we agreed to talk in the morning....I WILL address those things, and that she shouldnt bother getting another boyfriend if she continues, because Im 100% sure that this new dude is not as soft as me. I forgave wayy too easily.

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Ultrabeatdown55

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#24 Ultrabeatdown55
Member since 2008 • 15314 Posts

[QUOTE="Ultrabeatdown55"]

If the only thing that can make you happy is a partner, you need some serious help...

MuddVader

Not true, but he does need to realise that he lived many many years as well all do untill we grow up without a partner and he can manage to live life again without a partner =P

Thats what I am saying, he said he has nothing to cheer him up. How is that possible... That equals a sad sad life. I am sorry for him, but he should fly solo for a while and do the things he enjoys without a girlfriend. When he finds the next girl he should be happy enough to start another relationship and hopefully create a trustworthy bond with the girl. She cheats, she's out. Simple as that.

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THE_BRUTALIZER

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#25 THE_BRUTALIZER
Member since 2008 • 3488 Posts
[QUOTE="THE_BRUTALIZER"][QUOTE="SouL-Tak3R"]

Enoy the single life for awhile then get a new girl. For every great girl, there is another you haven't met yet. More fish in the sea as they say.

needled24-7
The last thing I can think about right now is another girl......I still have this girl in my head, and I still like her, and want her BAADDD. But thats over with. Its so hard to accept, but I guess everyone else is right....just distract myself and move on...

i think you're just addicted to the *****. happens to everyone

Idk. I actually cared for the girl, actually worried about her for stuff, I wanted to see her happy, cause it made my day. She was beautiful, yeah, but I actually loved her.... which sucks...
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THE_BRUTALIZER

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#26 THE_BRUTALIZER
Member since 2008 • 3488 Posts
[QUOTE="MuddVader"][QUOTE="Ultrabeatdown55"]

If the only thing that can make you happy is a partner, you need some serious help...

Ultrabeatdown55
Not true, but he does need to realise that he lived many many years as well all do untill we grow up without a partner and he can manage to live life again without a partner =P

Thats what I am saying, he said he has nothing to cheer him up. How is that possible... That equals a sad sad life. I am sorry for him, but he should fly solo for a while.

Im sure something will cheer me up in a while. I dont feel like doing anything at all, thats the problem right now. I have a pretty good life. I just cant think of anything that can cheer me up right now.....
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AxeStrangler

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#27 AxeStrangler
Member since 2007 • 1889 Posts

[QUOTE="MuddVader"] Wow. Well thanks man. And we arent done talking about everything. Her phone went dead, and we agreed to talk in the morning....I WILL address those things, and that she shouldnt bother getting another boyfriend if she continues, because Im 100% sure that this new dude is not as soft as me. I forgave wayy too easily.

THE_BRUTALIZER

[QUOTE="MuddVader"]

Honestly

once she laid that cheating bomb on you

you should have said
"You know what, I was right not to trust you. I'm sorry, and I loved you, but this relationship ending, especially now.. is your fault.
Were done."
and than just walked away or asked her to leave, whatever was appropriate.

I feel that you are better off without her.
If you dont love someone enough to say no to sex with another person when you are dedicated to a partner, you dont love that partner enough for things to last anyways.

THE_BRUTALIZER

Wow. Well thanks man. And we arent done talking about everything. Her phone went dead, and we agreed to talk in the morning....I WILL address those things, and that she shouldnt bother getting another boyfriend if she continues, because Im 100% sure that this new dude is not as soft as me. I forgave wayy too easily.

hey dude, just don't let anything she says get to you, just act as if you've gotten over her already...

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gamertylers

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#28 gamertylers
Member since 2005 • 1977 Posts

If the only thing that can make you happy is a partner, you need some serious help...

Ultrabeatdown55
Was that comment really needed? You may have had good intentions, but that seems like flaming to me.
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Ultrabeatdown55

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#29 Ultrabeatdown55
Member since 2008 • 15314 Posts
[QUOTE="THE_BRUTALIZER"][QUOTE="Ultrabeatdown55"][QUOTE="MuddVader"] Not true, but he does need to realise that he lived many many years as well all do untill we grow up without a partner and he can manage to live life again without a partner =P

Thats what I am saying, he said he has nothing to cheer him up. How is that possible... That equals a sad sad life. I am sorry for him, but he should fly solo for a while.

Im sure something will cheer me up in a while. I dont feel like doing anything at all, thats the problem right now. I have a pretty good life. I just cant think of anything that can cheer me up right now.....

I added some more stuff to my post so take a look :P
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Ultrabeatdown55

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#30 Ultrabeatdown55
Member since 2008 • 15314 Posts

[QUOTE="Ultrabeatdown55"]

If the only thing that can make you happy is a partner, you need some serious help...

gamertylers

Was that comment really needed? You may have had good intentions, but that seems like flaming to me.

No flaming here, just trying to wrap my head around how somebody can be that miserable. I have had my fair share of girlfriends. Most of them didn't work out for various reasons but I move on quickly. I live life as if there is no tomorrow and always come out on top wether I have just gotten my heart broken by my Ex, or something tragic happens.

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Agent-Zero

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#31 Agent-Zero
Member since 2009 • 6198 Posts
You should have got a least one more orgasm in...sucks for you
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THE_BRUTALIZER

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#32 THE_BRUTALIZER
Member since 2008 • 3488 Posts

I'll say lay off the ladies for a little bit, and focus on other things in life besides relationships. You're too young to go throught this. :(

Lilyanne46
My parents got married at 18, Im 17. I cant even hold up a decent relationship.....I just need some time to be alone again.
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quadraleap

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#33 quadraleap
Member since 2004 • 36581 Posts
I just got out of a very messy situation and I can relate. (Hopefully its really over this time) Anyhow, after going through the normal stages of depression and feeling mad, you will regain your confidence. Just keep thinking you are better off alone than with someone like that. She will pay the price for her actions somewhere down the road. Ignore her and show her no emotions, good or bad. Keep yourself busy with projects you may have been putting off and imagine yourself going forward while she is going backwards. Be thankful for the things you do have, and you can include on the list self respect. You did the right thing, which often isnt the easiest thing to do. You will be rewarded for it but it may not be apparent right now. Hang in there.
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MuddVader

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#34 MuddVader
Member since 2007 • 6326 Posts
[QUOTE="THE_BRUTALIZER"][QUOTE="Ultrabeatdown55"][QUOTE="MuddVader"] Not true, but he does need to realise that he lived many many years as well all do untill we grow up without a partner and he can manage to live life again without a partner =P

Thats what I am saying, he said he has nothing to cheer him up. How is that possible... That equals a sad sad life. I am sorry for him, but he should fly solo for a while.

Im sure something will cheer me up in a while. I dont feel like doing anything at all, thats the problem right now. I have a pretty good life. I just cant think of anything that can cheer me up right now.....

Well thats a good thing that you have a decent life. Just lay low for a while maybe go out and hang out with someone if the chance comes up, try to have fun and keep your mind busy. Take things slow and just step by step take care of yourself. Maybe once Thanksgiving comes maybe seeing your family will help you cheer up ^^
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THE_BRUTALIZER

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#36 THE_BRUTALIZER
Member since 2008 • 3488 Posts

[QUOTE="MuddVader"][QUOTE="Ultrabeatdown55"]

If the only thing that can make you happy is a partner, you need some serious help...

Ultrabeatdown55

Not true, but he does need to realise that he lived many many years as well all do untill we grow up without a partner and he can manage to live life again without a partner =P

Thats what I am saying, he said he has nothing to cheer him up. How is that possible... That equals a sad sad life. I am sorry for him, but he should fly solo for a while and do the things he enjoys without a girlfriend. When he finds the next girl he should be happy enough to start another relationship and hopefully create a trustworthy bond with the girl. She cheats, she's out. Simple as that.

Alright, this makes sense now. Try my best to be a happy single dude for now, then I can be ready for another relationship when that stupid feeling hits me again.... And yeah. If I even smell cheat, Im not even gonna waste my time worrying about trust....
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soulwithin465

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#37 soulwithin465
Member since 2009 • 186 Posts

I'm really sorry you have to go through this, honestly I am. It's tough going through a break-up no matter what role you play in it. But hey you'll get through this! Break-ups happen all the time and even though it feels like the end of the world it really isn't! Just stand back up and show the world how strong you are. It'll be painful but in the end it's worth it. And by getting through painful experiences like this helps to prepare you for the future and will make you stronger. So rather than sulking get out there and hang out with other people! And if they are busy (as you said they are) then get to know others or instead just find other productive activities to do on your own! Maybe go for a walk, or spend some time out exploring a part of town you've never really been to. Go get some new cloths even! I hate shopping but after going through problems like these I always find getting a new look or something makes me feel better and more confident (then again I'm a girl…don't really know how it works for guys). The worst thing you can do is just lock yourself up in your room and hide. You'll have to go back to school sometime so just do it and get it over with! And don't be gloomy and sad, stand tall and show everyone that your bigger than all this! Well, hope you feel better soon! Feeling that way is no fun =[

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THE_BRUTALIZER

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#38 THE_BRUTALIZER
Member since 2008 • 3488 Posts
I just got out of a very messy situation and I can relate. (Hopefully its really over this time) Anyhow, after going through the normal stages of depression and feeling mad, you will regain your confidence. Just keep thinking you are better off alone than with someone like that. She will pay the price for her actions somewhere down the road. Ignore her and show her no emotions, good or bad. Keep yourself busy with projects you may have been putting off and imagine yourself going forward while she is going backwards. Be thankful for the things you do have, and you can include on the list self respect. You did the right thing, which often isnt the easiest thing to do. You will be rewarded for it but it may not be apparent right now. Hang in there. quadraleap
Thanks man. That made me feel better. I have a lot to look forward to, I have a promising future....I just need to focus on more important things....its just......ughhhh
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_en1gma_

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#39 _en1gma_
Member since 2004 • 14617 Posts
There are better girls out there. Trust me. Go to school.
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MuddVader

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#40 MuddVader
Member since 2007 • 6326 Posts
[QUOTE="Lilyanne46"]

I'll say lay off the ladies for a little bit, and focus on other things in life besides relationships. You're too young to go throught this. :(

THE_BRUTALIZER
My parents got married at 18, Im 17. I cant even hold up a decent relationship.....I just need some time to be alone again.

I'm 17 and I've never had a girlfriend =P You arent doing as bad as you may think. You shouldnt rush into marriage anyways, to do so spells its demise. You should date someone for years and have had been friends with them for even longer before you marry them in my opinion. Thats just my thoughts though, and considering she cheated... shes not who you want to marry..
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Espada12

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#41 Espada12
Member since 2008 • 23247 Posts

Thanks man. That made me feel better. I have a lot to look forward to, I have a promising future....I just need to focus on more important things....its just......ughhhhTHE_BRUTALIZER

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ4B7G8Rw3Q

Watch that, this cheers me up everytime I am mad :lol:

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_en1gma_

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#42 _en1gma_
Member since 2004 • 14617 Posts
[QUOTE="THE_BRUTALIZER"][QUOTE="Lilyanne46"]

I'll say lay off the ladies for a little bit, and focus on other things in life besides relationships. You're too young to go throught this. :(

MuddVader
My parents got married at 18, Im 17. I cant even hold up a decent relationship.....I just need some time to be alone again.

I'm 17 and I've never had a girlfriend =P You arent doing as bad as you may think. You shouldnt rush into marriage anyways, to do so spells its demise. You should date someone for years and have had been friends with them for even longer before you marry them in my opinion. Thats just my thoughts though, and considering she cheated... shes not who you want to marry..

I don't even think it's an opinion. You are EXACTLY correct.
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THE_BRUTALIZER

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#43 THE_BRUTALIZER
Member since 2008 • 3488 Posts

I'm really sorry you have to go through this, honestly I am. It's tough going through a break-up no matter what role you play in it. But hey you'll get through this! Break-ups happen all the time and even though it feels like the end of the world it really isn't! Just stand back up and show the world how strong you are. It'll be painful but in the end it's worth it. And by getting through painful experiences like this helps to prepare you for the future and will make you stronger. So rather than sulking get out there and hang out with other people! And if they are busy (as you said they are) then get to know others or instead just find other productive activities to do on your own! Maybe go for a walk, or spend some time out exploring a part of town you've never really been to. Go get some new cloths even! I hate shopping but after going through problems like these I always find getting a new look or something makes me feel better and more confident (then again I'm a girl…don't really know how it works for guys). The worst thing you can do is just lock yourself up in your room and hide. You'll have to go back to school sometime so just do it and get it over with! And don't be gloomy and sad, stand tall and show everyone that your bigger than all this! Well, hope you feel better soon! Feeling that way is no fun =[

soulwithin465
Great advice again.... thanks..... The stupid thing is that I am locked up in my room right now, I just feel that I need to accept my pain before anything else. But thanks. That message worked, there...
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soulwithin465

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#44 soulwithin465
Member since 2009 • 186 Posts
[QUOTE="quadraleap"]I just got out of a very messy situation and I can relate. (Hopefully its really over this time) Anyhow, after going through the normal stages of depression and feeling mad, you will regain your confidence. Just keep thinking you are better off alone than with someone like that. She will pay the price for her actions somewhere down the road. Ignore her and show her no emotions, good or bad. Keep yourself busy with projects you may have been putting off and imagine yourself going forward while she is going backwards. Be thankful for the things you do have, and you can include on the list self respect. You did the right thing, which often isnt the easiest thing to do. You will be rewarded for it but it may not be apparent right now. Hang in there. THE_BRUTALIZER
Thanks man. That made me feel better. I have a lot to look forward to, I have a promising future....I just need to focus on more important things....its just......ughhhh

Yeah it's difficult when things happen like this but its not always for the worst even though it feels that. Hey, and just think, when this is all over you'll probably be wondering what the big deal was anyways ;]
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soulwithin465

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#45 soulwithin465
Member since 2009 • 186 Posts
[QUOTE="THE_BRUTALIZER"][QUOTE="soulwithin465"]

I'm really sorry you have to go through this, honestly I am. It's tough going through a break-up no matter what role you play in it. But hey you'll get through this! Break-ups happen all the time and even though it feels like the end of the world it really isn't! Just stand back up and show the world how strong you are. It'll be painful but in the end it's worth it. And by getting through painful experiences like this helps to prepare you for the future and will make you stronger. So rather than sulking get out there and hang out with other people! And if they are busy (as you said they are) then get to know others or instead just find other productive activities to do on your own! Maybe go for a walk, or spend some time out exploring a part of town you've never really been to. Go get some new cloths even! I hate shopping but after going through problems like these I always find getting a new look or something makes me feel better and more confident (then again I'm a girl…don't really know how it works for guys). The worst thing you can do is just lock yourself up in your room and hide. You'll have to go back to school sometime so just do it and get it over with! And don't be gloomy and sad, stand tall and show everyone that your bigger than all this! Well, hope you feel better soon! Feeling that way is no fun =[

Great advice again.... thanks..... The stupid thing is that I am locked up in my room right now, I just feel that I need to accept my pain before anything else. But thanks. That message worked, there...

Well I'm guessing this like..JUST happend! So it's alright to hang out in your room for a day or so. Just take little steps along the way so that you aren't stuck there a week from now~
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LostProphetFLCL

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#46 LostProphetFLCL
Member since 2006 • 18526 Posts

[QUOTE="THE_BRUTALIZER"][QUOTE="Lilyanne46"]

I'll say lay off the ladies for a little bit, and focus on other things in life besides relationships. You're too young to go throught this. :(

MuddVader

My parents got married at 18, Im 17. I cant even hold up a decent relationship.....I just need some time to be alone again.

I'm 17 and I've never had a girlfriend =P You arent doing as bad as you may think. You shouldnt rush into marriage anyways, to do so spells its demise. You should date someone for years and have had been friends with them for even longer before you marry them in my opinion. Thats just my thoughts though, and considering she cheated... shes not who you want to marry..

I'm 21 and have never been in a relationship. Neither of you are doing as bad as you may think....

Anyways, I have come to appreciate bad things in life that have happened to me as I can now see how they have made me a better person.

While it isn't quite the same thing, getting rejected is honestly one of the best things to ever happen to me. I have since looked at myself and made improvements and I ended up coming out with alot more confidence. Finally being rejected had really pushed me past my barrier of anxiety and has just led to me making a TON of improvement in my life.

In this case, you have not only learned a lesson but can now say you have been through a bad relationship, so if anything like this ever unfortunately happens again you will be able to deal with it soooo much better as it won't be anything new.

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get-ka12

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#47 get-ka12
Member since 2009 • 1946 Posts
Make yourself awesome that way she will get jealous and regret the decision she made to dump you. Like, get really good at something, and then she'll be like "Man, why did I ever dump that guy? Now I'm frustrated."
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_en1gma_

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#48 _en1gma_
Member since 2004 • 14617 Posts
[QUOTE="get-ka12"]Make yourself awesome that way she will get jealous and regret the decision she made to dump you. Like, get really good at something, and then she'll be like "Man, why did I ever dump that guy? Now I'm frustrated."

Why the hell would he do that...?
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Mr_Leonis

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#50 Mr_Leonis
Member since 2007 • 4615 Posts
Love doesn't really go away swiftly. Try to take her out of your mind. Don't do things that remind you of her for a while. Single life isn't always bad....except when there's the thought of not having a chance with anybody. You can't think this because you were just with somebody. Just relax, trust me, this was the best decision in the long run.