[QUOTE="Tylendal"]
Lu-Tze, the sweeper.
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SamusFreak
For what does this man do to enjoy the pleasure of your company?
Only ever been a humble sweeper. He was there, tending the garden, when the Great God Om, stripped of his worship by the shell of the religious bureaucracy that had grown around him, fell, as a humble turtle, and was left laying on his back. He saved Om, thereby preventing the death of a god, and a war that would kill millions. (And yes, that was his intent.)When Sir Samual Vimes, Duke of Ankh and Commander of the Ankh Morpork City Watch found himself trapped in the past, it was Lu-Tze that guided him to maintain history and return to his time. His actions led to the downfall of Lord Winder, and the eventual raising of Lord Havelock Vetinari to the post of Patrician of Ankh-Morpork.
When the first Glass Clock was built in Uberwald, he raced lightning, being only a literal millionth of a second too late to prevent all of time being destroyed. Nevertheless, the History Monks restored it, with the help of Lu-Tze.
He was the teacher and mentor to the son of the anthropomorphic personification of time, who with Lu-Tze's teachings was able to restore time to its proper flow when the second Glass Clock was built.
When that son took on his mothers duties as the true Time, and gained his full powers, it was Lu-Tze that bested him in single combat, using his own unique martial art, Deja Fu, which imparts the odd sensation that you've been kicked in the head this way before.
When the four horsemen of the apocalypse rode out at the ends of time, riding against the Auditors of Reality to fight on the side of humanity, it was Lu-Tze who found the fifth horseman, who left before they became famous, living as a humble milkman. He identified Ronny Soak as Kaos, the fifth horseman, and drove him to aid the Four Horsemen in their time of need.
In his darkest hour, he discovered that he was capable of using the powerful time distortion of the mountain yetis, allowing him to 'save' his life up to a point, rolling back time to that place and time should he ever be killed.
And who is this man? This man who taught time himself about the manipulation of the fourth dimension? The caretaker of the Garden of Five Surprises, who has lived for thousands of years, long enough to maintain his hobby of bonsai mountain-ranges. Who has changed history, always in the shadows, never in the public eye. Who holds that Rule #1., that everyone should know, is "Never act incautiously when confronted by a small, wrinkly, bald, smiling old man."?
He is not even the lowliest order of the History Monks. He is The Sweeper. Just a sweeper, a janitor for the history monks, that has learned everything that there is for them to learn, and then learned what they do not know, or are not allowed to know. He is the closest friend and confidant of the History Monks' abbot, a man who even in his most noble of positions, is inferior in ability to Lu-Tze.
Also, unlike most of the other characters here, I'm pretty sure Lu-Tze would be willing to offer me the time of day (no pun intended), and would refrain from messily killing me.
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