[QUOTE="theone86"][QUOTE="Shottayouth13-"] But your children should fear you. Not fear in a "I'm going to die way", but rather in a respectful "I don't want to cross them way." It makes them know that there's a line that must never be crossed.Shottayouth13-
Physical punishment should never be about fear, that's a prime recipe for raising a f*cked-up kid. It's supposed to be about developing an aversion to the behavior in question in the mind of the child being punished. Fear breeds resentment, and if someone is beating their kids in order to be feared then those kids are definitely going to resent the parent. They're far more likely to take aggression out on other people in harmful ways, and the punishment is only going to be effective until the kids find ways to get around it, i.e. not getting caught.
Furthermore, when kids reach a certain age such discipline is no longer effective. If you hit a teenager they're not as likely to respond positively to it because they're at a more advanced stage of cognitive development.
Finally, even in ideal circumstances kids need to understand why they're being punished. If you just start hitting a kid it seems arbitrary and really only serves to make them angry and resentful. Furthermore, no one should EVER hit their kid when they're angry. It never serves the purpose of suppressing a certain behavior and really only sends the message that it's okay to hit other people out of anger, in addition to f*cking the kid up in a variety of other ways. Screaming profanities at your child while you're beating them senseless, like the guy in the video, is never going to accomplish anything positive.
Probably fear wasn't the right word but I did go on to say instilling into them the fact that they mustn't be crossed, and what you shouldn't do to cross them. I know that much. Physical discipline is most effective when a child is less than 12 years old. But I doubt giving those girls a stern talking to for twerking would have gotten the message across. I did mention this further on in one of my posts. Physical discipline is best when followed up with reasons as to why you got what you got, and why you shouldn't be doing what you did. I never once agreed with senseless beatings. As I said before (at least in my experience), whenever me or my siblings got a beating it usually warranted. We understood that much. I don't agree with screaming profanities either.You don't need beating to establish that, all you need is for the parent to establish their authority. No matter how you establish your authority, be it through beating or other methods of punishment, the child will get the message. The problem is that beating carries additional problems that those other methods do not.
I doubt what the father did got the message across either. They're not going to stop twerking just because he beat them, they're going to stop doing it when he's around, and they're going to have to deal with the psychological implications of a large man beating them with an extension cord while screaming profanities. The fact is that if someone is beating their adolescent kids for a certain behavior then either they did a bad job of properly teaching their kids to avoid that behavior in the first place or it's something that just can't be controlled (like provacative dance moves). Like it or not, when hormones start flowing kids start trying to express their budding sexuality. The best way to ensure nothing bad happens is to be able to have some level of a decent rapport with them, not to break out a weapon and start hitting them when you see them dancing a certain way.
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