What should I do or not to do?

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Welis

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#1 Welis
Member since 2004 • 1431 Posts

So tommorow my class will get an assignment for our next project, and this time, we are free to choose who we would like to work with and it has to be max of 3 people per group. I'm more like the lesser being in class, the not so loud one, the quiet speaker and preferably the useless?

But on a serious note, I don't know what to do. Should I speak up and ask people to work with me? Or should I just sit there and wait till someone ask me if I want to work with them? I don't want to become this type of person who sits there and people show me mercy and ask if I want to work with this or that.

Have it happened to some of you fellas before, and if so, how did you tackle the situation?

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Chojuto

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#2 Chojuto
Member since 2007 • 2914 Posts
Pick smart people who you know will pull their weight, but not so smart that they entirely outclass you.
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DeepSigh

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#3 DeepSigh
Member since 2011 • 456 Posts

Find a smarty-pants and ask them to work with you. Don't just wait around and hope.

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Darthkaiser

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#4 Darthkaiser
Member since 2006 • 12447 Posts
If the number of people in your class is a number divisible by three then wait until most of the groups are made and you see a group of two people and that's where you belong.
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Welis

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#5 Welis
Member since 2004 • 1431 Posts
If the number of people in your class is a number divisible by three then wait until most of the groups are made and you see a group of two people and that's where you belong.Darthkaiser
But that's the worst... I mean.. Being the last and all that. We're 25 people in class by the way.
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Welis

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#6 Welis
Member since 2004 • 1431 Posts
Pick smart people who you know will pull their weight, but not so smart that they entirely outclass you. Chojuto
The issue is that I am not that intelligent, and my self esteem is lacking too. The worst possible scenario could be that they reject me?
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Welis

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#7 Welis
Member since 2004 • 1431 Posts

Find a smarty-pants and ask them to work with you. Don't just wait around and hope.

DeepSigh
I wish I could do that, but I have the fear to be rejected.
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Jeeeza

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#8 Jeeeza
Member since 2011 • 51 Posts
Our hearts are with you, dude. Many people seem to use the Internet these days to ask complete strangers for advice on what to do or not to do with their own personal lives and matters. Best of lucks.
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Chojuto

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#9 Chojuto
Member since 2007 • 2914 Posts
[QUOTE="Chojuto"]Pick smart people who you know will pull their weight, but not so smart that they entirely outclass you. Welis
The issue is that I am not that intelligent, and my self esteem is lacking too. The worst possible scenario could be that they reject me?

Alright well if you're afraid of rejection, go find the most average people in class and ask them. Or if you want to play it safe, just find the dumbest people that you're still willing to work with. Just make sure you secure people who you know will do some work, because nothing's worse than having to do ALL the work yourself.
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Niff_T

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#10 Niff_T
Member since 2007 • 6052 Posts

But on a serious note, I don't know what to do. Should I speak up and ask people to work with me? Or should I just sit there and wait till someone ask me if I want to work with them?

Welis

Speak up, I don't think sitting there and waiting for people has ever worked for me. Just look around for some people that aren't already in a group of three and ask them if they'd like to form a group with you.

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Welis

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#11 Welis
Member since 2004 • 1431 Posts
[QUOTE="Welis"][QUOTE="Chojuto"]Pick smart people who you know will pull their weight, but not so smart that they entirely outclass you. Chojuto
The issue is that I am not that intelligent, and my self esteem is lacking too. The worst possible scenario could be that they reject me?

Alright well if you're afraid of rejection, go find the most average people in class and ask them. Or if you want to play it safe, just find the dumbest people that you're still willing to work with. Just make sure you secure people who you know will do some work, because nothing's worse than having to do ALL the work yourself.

Well I guess that's the only option. But I'm not sure if them "average" people would like to work with me either. The worst thing is that I might END up working with the worst people in class and it is kinda humiliating.
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fablesway

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#12 fablesway
Member since 2011 • 23504 Posts

I know what you are going through, i personally hated having to have partners to do work i preferred to work on my own, plus i was very shy in school so that was even worse, but what i did was i went up to people and asked if they wanted to work with me, the worse case scenario is they will say no and if that is the case then go ask someone else don't give up,but you should not sit there and wait for them to come up to you just go up and ask them

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Welis

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#13 Welis
Member since 2004 • 1431 Posts

I know what you are going through, i personally hated having to have partners to do work i preferred to work on my own, plus i was very shy in school so that was even worse, but what i did was i went up to people and asked if they wanted to work with me, the worse case scenario is they will say no and if that is the case then go ask someone else don't give up,but you should not sit there and wait for them to come up to you just go up and ask them

fablesway
I concur.. Working alone is the best thing since you can then decide what you want and how you want it done. But guess I'll just have to get used to rejections, and man up to people screaming NO to my face.
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hockey73

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#14 hockey73
Member since 2005 • 8281 Posts
Seems simple to me, you said you don't want to be the person sitting there waiting for someone to ask them; so ask someone first.
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fablesway

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#15 fablesway
Member since 2011 • 23504 Posts

[QUOTE="fablesway"]

I know what you are going through, i personally hated having to have partners to do work i preferred to work on my own, plus i was very shy in school so that was even worse, but what i did was i went up to people and asked if they wanted to work with me, the worse case scenario is they will say no and if that is the case then go ask someone else don't give up,but you should not sit there and wait for them to come up to you just go up and ask them

Welis

I concur.. Working alone is the best thing since you can then decide what you want and how you want it done. But guess I'll just have to get used to rejections, and man up to people screaming NO to my face.

that is not always the case that you will get rejected the first time you ask someone, for the most part the first person i asked would say yes, plus who cares if they say no to your face they are no one special and obviously not worth working with if they are going to act like that

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Welis

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#16 Welis
Member since 2004 • 1431 Posts
Seems simple to me, you said you don't want to be the person sitting there waiting for someone to ask them; so ask someone first. hockey73
It's really complicated if you saw it through my eyes! But I can understand how you think as if it was simple. The issue is that many of the people in my class are so comfortable that they probably have already formed a group while I still sit here pondering about who wants to group with me or who I can group with? Maybe I am overthinking this too much!
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pero2008

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#17 pero2008
Member since 2005 • 2969 Posts

I work alone unless its mandatory, then I'll join a group with the people I kind of talk to in class.

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Darthkaiser

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#18 Darthkaiser
Member since 2006 • 12447 Posts
[QUOTE="hockey73"]Seems simple to me, you said you don't want to be the person sitting there waiting for someone to ask them; so ask someone first. Welis
It's really complicated if you saw it through my eyes! But I can understand how you think as if it was simple. The issue is that many of the people in my class are so comfortable that they probably have already formed a group while I still sit here pondering about who wants to group with me or who I can group with? Maybe I am overthinking this too much!

No you're not, it's perfectly natural. By this time I assume you have spoken to at least 1 person in the class, asking a pen, passing a test, or just stared at them in a creepy way. this person could be aware of your existence and thus you have more possibilities of having your request of being in a group accepted if you ask this person. Is there a person like that?? If so make groups with him/her
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#19 Sunsha
Member since 2005 • 20662 Posts
I never cared I usually just went with whoever would ask me if I wanted to be in their group. Unless I had a friend in the same class and I didn't have that many friends.
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hydralisk86

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#20 hydralisk86
Member since 2006 • 8847 Posts
Just go up and ask smart people to work for you.