What's the point in fake high self-esteem?

A previous topic got me thinking about self-esteem. I simply grasp why it is portrayed as it is within Western culture, especially in the United States. We are often taught that we should have high self-esteem simply because we exist and are "special." Want clear evidence of what I'm talking about? Just watch the introduction to Mister Roger's Neighborhood.

We are told that we are essentially amazing people simply because we exist and are alive. The result is that even though the United States, in comparison to many other nations, has low reading scores, low education levels, etc. we have higher rates of self-esteem. Instead of actually improving ourselves and our lives, we read self-help books about how to be happy with ourselves even though we often times have no reason to do so.

"I'm happy with myself simply because I'm meee! Who cares that we can't read the books to begin with, we should be happy regardless. Who cares that we are 40 years old, single, and live in our mother's basement, we should be proud of who we are! I mean honestly, who else do we know that can get to level 80 in World of Warcraft within two weeks." We try to convince ourselves of our competency without actually improving ourselves, all we try to do is fool ourselves. Why is it we do this? Why simply trick ourselves? Shouldn't we instead, when we have low self-esteem use it to our advantage to improve ourselves and our lives?

Now, I'm not trying to promote low self-esteem, I'm promoting the idea that you should actually live and improve your lives. We need to have high self-esteem but only because we are actually doing something with our lives. Also, I do realize that some overbearing parents have the tendency to cause a child to have low self-esteem because they are perfectionists and none can live up to their standards. That's not who I'm talking about, I'm talking about those who do not have anything to be esteemed about.

Thoughts?

I faded off mid paragraph, i'm sorry, but I do understand what you mean, alot of people have no right to feel proud of themselves, but its just the way we are.. I dont have high self esteem, if it makes you feel better to know.

One's self-esteem isn't exactly a choice. And if you have a low self-esteem, that isn't gonna somehow make you able to improve yourself. It's going to discourage you from doing anything, because you think you suck and can't do anything. A high self-esteem, however, allows you to do so much more, because you actually believe that you can. Crypto138

XD I think there are many forms of self-esteem. I have fairly good self-esteem when it comes to my character, but I, like millions of other teenage American girls, look in the mirror everyday, and hope I get hit by a train, and half of my fat gets ripped off, and all of the ugly gets ripped off of my face. I believe self-esteem should be taught at least in terms of your physical self. I was always praised for how much further I was ahead of other kids. This really never mattered much to me. Living on a beach all my life, my main concern growing up was often my body. I always had to be darker, or be lighter, or more skinny, or more built, shorter hair, longer hair, straighter hair, curly hair, dark hair, light hair, my face was too red, I developed too fast, I developed too slowly, I was too tall, I was too short, my nose was ugly, my lips were too big, my lips were too small.

These are things I cannot change. When it comes to being a good person and being educated, one can control that. I believe people should be taught that by trying their best in these areas, they should love themselves. But when it comes to physical appearance, kids should be taught to be happy to be who they are. I never was, and that resulted in tons of self-destructive behavior.

I don't believe self-esteem has much of an effect on improvement. If someone is a motivated person, who tries and tries, they're going to, whether they have low or high self-esteem. If they're not, then they're not. I know that personally, no matter how good or bad I feel about myself at the time, I try, I tr, and I try again. Even during my times of lowest self-esteem. I'm proud of that fact. And yes.. I said proud. I can be proud when I have low self-esteem.

-Ari-freakin-el

I wonder that myself. It seems as though we've begun teaching children that they're special and that they will always be important regardless of what they do, and while this is good in moderation it leads to ego-inflation. We've become unwilling to fail children who don't try and we hand out medals for people who come in last place, giving us no incentive to succeed. As a result we end up losing the value of hard work and get stuck with a society of people who think they're the **** without having done anything. Don't believe me? Check the internetz.

I think it's good for people to be proud of themselves. While it's always good to improve yourself, that shouldn't stop people from enjoying what they've already accomplished.

I'd much rather have a situation like this as opposed to something like Japan, where they have a high GDP but the average happiness is actually very low.

One's self-esteem isn't exactly a choice. And if you have a low self-esteem, that isn't gonna somehow make you able to improve yourself. It's going to discourage you from doing anything, because you think you suck and can't do anything. A high self-esteem, however, allows you to do so much more, because you actually believe that you can. Crypto138

Well I say there's a difference between being happy about yourself and just giving up on being critical about what you are and stop improving. So basically the best combination is to be happy about what you've got so far yet keep on improving and being critical.

Now, I'm not trying to promote low self-esteem, I'm promoting the idea that you should actually live and improve your lives. We need to have high self-esteem but only because we are actually doing something with our lives. Also, I do realize that some overbearing parents have the tendency to cause a child to have low self-esteem because they are perfectionists and none can live up to their standards. That's not who I'm talking about, I'm talking about those who do not have anything to be esteemed about.

Thoughts?

mindstorm

1) No matter how good you're doing, I guarantee that you could be doing better.

2) Who has nothing to be esteemed about? I've met homeless alcoholic bums who are actually better people than some high-achieving high-earning scholars. Exactly WHAT qualifies as something that's worthy of self-esteem?

I never really bought the whole "you're special" rhetoric. I've always had a pretty low self-esteem.

If your self-esteem is fake you likely aren't happy because you know it's a sham. As far as I'm concerned, the only losers in life are those who are unhappy but do nothing about it. If you are happy, even if you are "unsuccessful" by societal norms, you are better off than a lot of people who society would view as "successful," and you have every right to your 'fake' self-esteem.

2) Who has nothing to be esteemed about? I've met homeless alcoholic bums who are actually better people than some high-achieving high-earning scholars. Exactly WHAT qualifies as something that's worthy of self-esteem?

MrGeezer

There you go - that's what I'm talking about. I think that's an awfully important question to answer.

Whoa, my thread provoked thought? Amazing! :shock: :P

For me, if having a care-free life style results in high self-esteem, then I'm all for it. Despite all problems, to be able to overlook them at first thought is an amazing feat.

There is no fake esteem imo, (save those damn depressive emos :x) Even if your fat, 40, live in your mother's basement and can reach lvl 80 on WOW, if theres something in that odd that life style that that person is proud of, He can overlook those problems and live a healthy emotional and mental life.

And that's the beauty of it.

I disagree if you're speaking on behalf of everyone. In some cases, people need to be content with themselves around others in order to cure themselves of apathy. When some people's self-esteem is too low, they lose inspiration in everything else. I'm talking about social self-esteem just to clarify.

If your self-esteem is fake you likely aren't happy because you know it's a sham. As far as I'm concerned, the only losers in life are those who are unhappy but do nothing about it. If you are happy, even if you are "unsuccessful" by societal norms, you are better off than a lot of people who society would view as "successful," and you have every right to your 'fake' self-esteem.

pianist

I disagree if you're speaking on behalf of everyone. In some cases, people need to be content with themselves around others in order to cure themselves of apathy. When some people's self-esteem is too low, they lose inspiration in everything else. I'm talking about social self-esteem just to clarify.

LikeHaterade

[QUOTE="LikeHaterade"]

I disagree if you're speaking on behalf of everyone. In some cases, people need to be content with themselves around others in order to cure themselves of apathy. When some people's self-esteem is too low, they lose inspiration in everything else. I'm talking about social self-esteem just to clarify.

Arifriekinel

That's fine. I assumed the TC was talking about social self-esteem because when I hear people talk about it, that's the form I hear it's most commonly referred to as. In terms of self-esteem in general, I think pianist is on point.

I disagree if you're speaking on behalf of everyone. In some cases, people need to be content with themselves around others in order to cure themselves of apathy. When some people's self-esteem is too low, they lose inspiration in everything else. I'm talking about social self-esteem just to clarify.

LikeHaterade

[QUOTE="pianist"]

If your self-esteem is fake you likely aren't happy because you know it's a sham. As far as I'm concerned, the only losers in life are those who are unhappy but do nothing about it. If you are happy, even if you are "unsuccessful" by societal norms, you are better off than a lot of people who society would view as "successful," and you have every right to your 'fake' self-esteem.

Darth-Caedus

I assumed the TC was talking about social self-esteem because when I hear people talk about it, that's the form I hear it's most commonly referred to as. In terms of self-esteem in general, I think pianist is on point.

LikeHaterade

[QUOTE="LikeHaterade"]I assumed the TC was talking about social self-esteem because when I hear people talk about it, that's the form I hear it's most commonly referred to as. In terms of self-esteem in general, I think pianist is on point.

Arifriekinel

Mindstorm. TC stands for "Topic Creator."

[QUOTE="LikeHaterade"]I assumed the TC was talking about social self-esteem because when I hear people talk about it, that's the form I hear it's most commonly referred to as. In terms of self-esteem in general, I think pianist is on point.

Arifriekinel

Edit: Beaten to it! :x

*Self-esteem lowers by 4 points.* :cry: :P

I have high self esteem, but I'm pretty humble about it. I'm don't strut around and act like a jerk or anything.

*Self-esteem lowers by 4 points.* :cry: :P

mindstorm

Muwahaha! You're a swell guy mindstorm.

*Boosts self-esteem by 6 points* :P

No matter what you do in life, there's always more that can be done. At some point, you have to either go insane and commit suicide or become content with where you are without feeling the need to do anything further. If someone is genuinely happy with their life, I am not about to tell them not to be - who am I to tell them how they "ought to" live their life?

Ok, so we have to do something important to have high self-esteem? I have a high self-esteem, because I do. Like Katt said; "It's the steem of your mother****ing self."

[QUOTE="Arifriekinel"]

[QUOTE="LikeHaterade"]I assumed the TC was talking about social self-esteem because when I hear people talk about it, that's the form I hear it's most commonly referred to as. In terms of self-esteem in general, I think pianist is on point.

LikeHaterade

Mindstorm. TC stands for "Topic Creator."

"I am Mr. Rogers and I like sweaters! RAWR"

While I agree for the most part, the positives of Mr. Rodgers FARRRR outweight the negatives. He's done plenty to improve the lives of himself and his viewers.blackngold29

Yeah, I thought it was kinda weird the first time I was exposed to someone who didn't like Mr. Rogers. He's one of my heroes in life to be perfectly honest. Such a genuine and nice guy, even off the set of his show.