When should you care what people think of you?

When you care about them and they care about you.  Those are the people you should bother caring about what they think of you.

I have a couple friends torn on this.

One says that you should always conduct yourself appropriatly, even changing your personality accordingly in some cases.

The other says that you should never care what people think of you. There will always be those who despise you no matter what.

What do you think?

Why care about what others think of you? They aren't the ones living your life, so what does it matter if others don't like you? Just be yourself and live your life, if others can't accept you for you then that's their problem, not yours.Smokescreened84

I think you should do what you want and not care what people think when doing things that affect only you, but when your actions and choices have consequences for others you should consider those people and what they think.

Some people are just assholes who want to criticize you; those people are to be ignored.  But, if someone is letting you know they don't agree with your behavior or the way you act and they are someone you respect, it would be wise to do a little self evaluation.  

[QUOTE="Smokescreened84"]Not when those people are trying to push you to be someone you're not just to suit themselves.thegerg

Nobody is an island or exists in a vacuum.

Everybody is affected by social dynamics whether they know it or not.

Doesn't mean you should do what everyone wants you to do.

Conflict is part of life.

At the same time, harmony is also part of life and no one can exist alone.

I have a couple friends torn on this.

 

One says that you should always conduct yourself appropriatly, even changing your personality accordingly in some cases.

 

The other says that you should never care what people think of you. There will always be those who despise you no matter what.

 

What do you think?

DirigiblePlums

Always, we live in a society.

[QUOTE="DirigiblePlums"]

I have a couple friends torn on this.

 

One says that you should always conduct yourself appropriatly, even changing your personality accordingly in some cases.

 

The other says that you should never care what people think of you. There will always be those who despise you no matter what.

 

What do you think?

tenaka2

Always, we live in a society.

When you feel you're becoming a sociopath.

[QUOTE="tenaka2"]

[QUOTE="DirigiblePlums"]

I have a couple friends torn on this.

 

One says that you should always conduct yourself appropriatly, even changing your personality accordingly in some cases.

 

The other says that you should never care what people think of you. There will always be those who despise you no matter what.

 

What do you think?

DirigiblePlums

Always, we live in a society.

[QUOTE="DirigiblePlums"][QUOTE="tenaka2"]

Always, we live in a society.

LJS9502_basic

Well, you gotta put up a real front for job interviews, and usually the job itself. That's about the only time I see it as necessary. But I think it's good practice to take notice what your partner thinks of you since they're putting forth their time, and that includes they're family.

Other than that, dont bend over for people. There is a line between constructive criticism, and the busybody. 

[QUOTE="tenaka2"]

[QUOTE="DirigiblePlums"]

I have a couple friends torn on this.

 

One says that you should always conduct yourself appropriatly, even changing your personality accordingly in some cases.

 

The other says that you should never care what people think of you. There will always be those who despise you no matter what.

 

What do you think?

DirigiblePlums

Always, we live in a society.

Without any context this comment is pointless.

[QUOTE="tenaka2"]

[QUOTE="DirigiblePlums"]

I have a couple friends torn on this.

One says that you should always conduct yourself appropriatly, even changing your personality accordingly in some cases.

The other says that you should never care what people think of you. There will always be those who despise you no matter what.

What do you think?

DirigiblePlums

Always, we live in a society.

You probably haven't spoken with any to know that for sure.

All the time.

[QUOTE="DirigiblePlums"][QUOTE="tenaka2"]

Always, we live in a society.

tenaka2

Without any context this comment is pointless.

You should care when it affects you in some way.

Carry yourself in a respectful manner, treat others the way you want to be treated and let the chips fall where they may. I only care what my friends and family think about me and still that is a very small concern. You have to be you, have courage to not follow the crowd of drones and be your own leader, blaze your own trail... or new ones because the others are jammed with traffic, filled with confused souls scared to be unique or trend setters. You/we/ all of us are basically here to learn, serve each other, be the best person you can possibly be until it's time to leave this realm. Life is short, try not to waste it like most of the people you'll encounter in life. Disempowerment is real and can be seen everywhere, it's up to you to transend the ego in order to get where you want to be...

[QUOTE="tenaka2"]

[QUOTE="DirigiblePlums"] I don't think 18th century women would agree with you...DirigiblePlums

Without any context this comment is pointless.

Ah I see, sorry I read your thread in na 'everyday' context, not when actively fighting for a cause such as equal rights, at which point usual rules are suspended.

I think your tread is actually about conformity, its just not wored as such.

The point where they are literally holding you by the bell-end.

When you're trying to find a job.

Why care about what others think of you? They aren't the ones living your life, so what does it matter if others don't like you? Just be yourself and live your life, if others can't accept you for you then that's their problem, not yours.Smokescreened84

when those people are paying you

When it's practical to (you should care what a potential employer or someone you're dating our courting thinks of you for instance) or if it's someone you deeply care about, like a beloved family member, friend, etc, but only if that person is judging you in good faith.

The time you should care what someone thinks of you is if they have any sort of power over you.

pretty much always. With family, freinds, at work.

I guess an exception would be if you're in public by yourself.

I have a follow up question. 

So it's obvioushe in a job situation that you're expected to act a certain way,  and should always try to conform to that. 

My question comes with dating, as I've seen it mentioned a few times. 

Should one care what their date thinks of them in a sense that you try to conform to what you think would please them most or to y'all is it more of a matter of caring because you need to know if y'all will be happy with each other by being yourselves? 

My opinion is the latter, but just wanted to get yalls perspective

Be respectable charming and a good listener

that said...

You have to be yourself if you plan on experiencing life fully. You'll create yourself very little happiness trying to be what others expect you to be. There are billions of people in this world and you're not going to meet, satisfy or agree with all of them. If you can't be yourself around ppl than those ppl weren't meant for you to be around. Forcing yourself to be what you're not will weaken who you really are, than misery follows along with confusion and regret. Many go this route and are almost always mad at the world...not realizing that misery spawned when they limited themselves by becoming a blind follower....so they project what they don't like about themselves into others.

I don't care what people think of me.

I have a couple friends torn on this.

 

One says that you should always conduct yourself appropriatly, even changing your personality accordingly in some cases.

 

The other says that you should never care what people think of you. There will always be those who despise you no matter what.

 

What do you think?

DirigiblePlums

I agree with both.

There are times when you should adopt a certain behaviour (I suppose towards your boss, or whatever...). But putting on a fake personality to appease certain friends (for example)?

F*ck. That. If some don't like who I am, here's the middle finger.

Don't care about what anyone thinks of you. But a certain middle ground is sometimes required.

I dress and act in ways that I want to and end up standing out becasue I dont care what people think.

However, if you look slosly it means that I do care and want to be recognised.

So I think it is two sides of the same coin

Even the 'I don't care' attitude is a signal to others. In a way, the 'I don't care attitude' is simply a different style of caring. Every mentally sane person cares, mainly because you need to know how others perceive you in order to adjust your personality. The concept of not caring is still based on other people caring and you as a person not doing the same.
So people will always care what others think of them regardless of what they say. That being said, it is entirely possible to care about something while holding different opinions. formal way.

not all the time but you should definately care. like say in a job interview, you pretty much have to care about what people think. it's a big part of life.

idunnodude

I like this. Also, when your friends and family stops accepting your phone calls, you may want to reevaluate yourself.

not all the time but you should definately care. like say in a job interview, you pretty much have to care about what people think. it's a big part of life.

Why care about what others think of you? They aren't the ones living your life, so what does it matter if others don't like you? Just be yourself and live your life, if others can't accept you for you then that's their problem, not yours.Smokescreened84