Why Marriage Matters

During my lunch break I came across this column. Since everyone lately has been talking about marriage, I thought this may help some people understand why governments encourage marriage. As I've said in some other threads, it has a lot to do with having a stable society. Here are some of the main points:

From the Article:

The statistics are familiar. In 1970, 85.2 percent of children under 18 lived in a two-parent family. In 2005, it was 68.3 percent and dropping. Forty percent of births in America are to unwed parents. Broken down by ethnic group, the figures are 30 percent among whites, 50 percent for Hispanics and 70 percent for blacks.

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Single mothers (and occasionally fathers) find it much more difficult to be the kind of autonomous, self-supporting individuals that our system of government was designed for. Single parents turn to the government for assistance in dozens of ways. Pearlstein cites economist Benjamin Scafidi, who has offered a rough calculation of how much family breakdown costs American taxpayers annually. Scafidi considered TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families), Food Stamps, housing assistance, Medicaid, S-Chip, child welfare services, justice system costs, WIC, LIHEAP (Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program), Head Start, school breakfast and lunch programs, and foregone tax receipts. The annual bill to taxpayers: $112 billion.

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marriage patterns are creating a caste system in a country that had traditionally enjoyed relative equality. Among the well-educated, marriage rates have remained very stable over the past several decades. College graduates are thus (mostly) rearing their children in orderly, supportive environments in which kids are taught to study hard, delay gratification and plan for the future. But 54 percent of the children of high school dropouts are illegitimate. Their parents' lives are marked by financial stress, conflict and turmoil.

Since income and education are so closely linked, the outlines of a permanent caste system become visible, with the educated raising children who have the tools to become successful themselves and the poor and lower middle class continuing to give birth under circumstances that virtually condemn their children to poverty.

Much has been made by Democrats of the increasing inequality of income distribution in America. That inequality is real. But it's not the result of tax cuts. It's an artifact of family structure. And unless we find a way to discourage unwed childbearing and revive marriage, the chasm between classes will continue to grow.

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Link to Full Article HERE

Any thoughts?

Well, the stats dont lie I guess. But it is obvious that a family thats well-educated and have strong moral values would be more likely to marry, have kids and teach them the same values.

Well, the stats dont lie I guess. But it is obvious that a family thats well-educated and have strong moral values would be more likely to marry, have kids and teach them the same values.

KamuiFei

Yellowone, this seems to be a topic that is far too often ignored. But it is important.

The article seems to suggest that the reason kids don't do well in school is because their parens aren't married. Correlation doesn't prove causation. Children born out of wedlock are most likely unwanted which results in crappy parenting. It has nothing do with the fact that both parents don't live in the same house. Both parents just suck at their jobs.

The article seems to suggest that the reason kids don't do well in school is because their parens aren't married. Correlation doesn't prove causation. Children born out of wedlock are most likely unwanted which results in crappy parenting. It has nothing do with the fact that both parents don't live in the same house. Both parents just suck at their jobs.

kussese

I agree with this.

Im failing to see how any of the information posted is actually related to why marriage matters. As if two parents living together, while not married, will produce a child less healthy than the same situation, but married.

[QUOTE="KamuiFei"]

Well, the stats dont lie I guess. But it is obvious that a family thats well-educated and have strong moral values would be more likely to marry, have kids and teach them the same values.

KungfuKitten

Guys it saying that two incomes can raise a kid better than one. A one parent household is much more likely going to need government assistance. More education = a better job so it creates a cicle

[QUOTE="kussese"]

The article seems to suggest that the reason kids don't do well in school is because their parens aren't married. Correlation doesn't prove causation. Children born out of wedlock are most likely unwanted which results in crappy parenting. It has nothing do with the fact that both parents don't live in the same house. Both parents just suck at their jobs.

XaosII

I agree with this.

Im failing to see how any of the information posted is actually related to why marriage matters. As if two parents living together, while not married, will produce a child less healthy than the same situation, but married.

That's a very interesting approach to the inequality of income. I can see it being the cause of a majority. There are still tax loopholes that get exploited of course.

This is also why I don't plan on having kids until I'm old enough and ready. I just graduated college and got a full time job, not nearly ready. This is the problem though. Most of my highschool classmates who didn't go to college have a kid already and maybe a second on the way. It's insane. They can't support these kids yet they have them anyways. These kids are boring into financial uncertainty with very unstable marriages holding the family together. This is a majr problem.

[QUOTE="XaosII"]

[QUOTE="kussese"]

The article seems to suggest that the reason kids don't do well in school is because their parens aren't married. Correlation doesn't prove causation. Children born out of wedlock are most likely unwanted which results in crappy parenting. It has nothing do with the fact that both parents don't live in the same house. Both parents just suck at their jobs.

whipassmt

I agree with this.

Im failing to see how any of the information posted is actually related to why marriage matters. As if two parents living together, while not married, will produce a child less healthy than the same situation, but married.

This is the reason. The majority of unmarried parents do not live together as well.

[QUOTE="whipassmt"]

[QUOTE="XaosII"]

I agree with this.

Im failing to see how any of the information posted is actually related to why marriage matters. As if two parents living together, while not married, will produce a child less healthy than the same situation, but married.

Wasdie

This is the reason. The majority of unmarried parents do not live together as well.

those are some interesting excerpts. I'll have to read more.

Guys it saying that two incomes can raise a kid better than one. A one parent household is much more likely going to need government assistance. More education = a better job so it creates a cicle

LaytonsCat

Two incomes? That means that both parents are working, which means that the mother isn't tending to household and motherly duties, which leads to a break down of the traditional family.

[QUOTE="KamuiFei"]

Well, the stats dont lie I guess. But it is obvious that a family thats well-educated and have strong moral values would be more likely to marry, have kids and teach them the same values.

KungfuKitten

Not sure why some people act as though sex purely for physical gratification is a new trend.

I don't believe that it's marriage that helps the family. I think it's the mentality of those who get married that helps the family. Generally, people who get married are more likely to wait until they're ready before marrying and are more likely to have children after marriage. They tend to be more religious, which provides structure in their spiritual lives and they also are healthier and more financially secure.Genetic_Code

Ehh, I don't know about all there. There are plenty of people who jump into marriage. And plenty of people who are married, stable, healthy and financially secure who aren't religious.

If wealth increases your chances of being educated and being educated increases your chances of remaining married and properly raising a child who has an increased chance of being educated and wealthy ( rinse repeat ), and since these things increase your chances of being happy we can safely conclude that money does in fact buy everything....including happiness.

Maybe i missed something but that was all i gathered from reading that.

It certainly is true that children that come from 2 parent families do much better than those from a single parent household. However, I dont know if it's ever been studied whether the parents are different or same sex.

It certainly is true that children that come from 2 parent families do much better than those from a single parent household. However, I dont know if it's ever been studied whether the parents are different or same sex.

sonicare

First thought: It would be nice if sexual education in school wasn't such a controversial thing but mandatory. It would be even nicer if sexual education included something beyond simply "Don't have sex period or bad things will happen to you" Abstinence Only approach that doesn't work but actually included the idea that sex becomes infinitely more safe and less likely to produce unwanted zerglings if high schoolers make use of condoms and birth control.nocoolnamejim

That is, when a child grows up in a stable environment with two parents and money isn't a constant, every day struggle to make ends meet (typically the case for more educated households) and therefore provided with a 'comfortable' atmosphere, that type of environment will be 'the norm' for that child and that is what they will strive to emulate later on in life. Success breeds success, for the most part. (Disclaimer: No, no parents are perfect regardless of financial status).

Conversly, a child born to a single parent, whom struggles constantly with money and is always stressed out, and doesn't see how two parents interact on a daily basis, will likely grow up to emulate that later on in life, as that situation is the child's 'norm.' Just from my own observations, there are certain areas here in NY where it seems almost every other teenage girl has a baby on the hip, and no ring on the finger. Then when you see their parent (typically the mother but not always), it's a similar story to that of the teenager.

I guess what I'm saying is, children born to a set of parents are more likely (I believe) to become parents. People born to a mother and a 'baby daddy' are more likely to end up either a single mother or a 'baby daddy.' For the most part, both financially and emotionally, I can't help but think that the latter of the two examples has a distinct disadvantage in this world.

i just want the government to recognize the bond between me and my cherry tree, once i get that nice tax break i dont care what/who else can get taxed less.surrealnumber5

[QUOTE="nocoolnamejim"]First thought: It would be nice if sexual education in school wasn't such a controversial thing but mandatory. It would be even nicer if sexual education included something beyond simply "Don't have sex period or bad things will happen to you" Abstinence Only approach that doesn't work but actually included the idea that sex becomes infinitely more safe and less likely to produce unwanted zerglings if high schoolers make use of condoms and birth control.YellowOneKinobi

That is, when a child grows up in a stable environment with two parents and money isn't a constant, every day struggle to make ends meet (typically the case for more educated households) and therefore provided with a 'comfortable' atmosphere, that type of environment will be 'the norm' for that child and that is what they will strive to emulate later on in life. Success breeds success, for the most part. (Disclaimer: No, no parents are perfect regardless of financial status).

Conversly, a child born to a single parent, whom struggles constantly with money and is always stressed out, and doesn't see how two parents interact on a daily basis, will likely grow up to emulate that later on in life, as that situation is the child's 'norm.' Just from my own observations, there are certain areas here in NY where it seems almost every other teenage girl has a baby on the hip, and no ring on the finger. Then when you see their parent (typically the mother but not always), it's a similar story to that of the teenager.

I guess what I'm saying is, children born to a set of parents are more likely (I believe) to become parents. People born to a mother and a 'baby daddy' are more likely to end up either a single mother or a 'baby daddy.' For the most part, both financially and emotionally, I can't help but think that the latter of the two examples has a distinct disadvantage in this world.

Have been with my girl for 18 years and we still aren't married. We see no point in it and find marriage to be a joke.

Well, I say f*** marriage, but then I also don't plan on having any kids. And my income is substantially above the national average. So I guess this article doesn't really apply to me.

Reading that only made me see why money matters, not why marriage matters. :|

i just want the government to recognize the bond between me and my cherry tree, once i get that nice tax break i dont care what/who else can get taxed less.surrealnumber5

I knew you liked good wood :)

Much has been made by Democrats of the increasing inequality of income distribution in America. That inequality is real. But it's not the result of tax cuts. It's an artifact of family structure. And unless we find a way to discourage unwed childbearing and revive marriage, the chasm between classes will continue to grow.

YellowOneKinobi

I have issues with that part but otherwise I agree. The problem is we like to single out one thing to fix our problems like only cutting spending or only raising taxes will fix the debt when the truth is, most of our problem are very complex, didn't pop up overnight, can't be quick fixed and require multiple solutions hitting it from different angles.

When it comes to marriage, yeah, a two parent household is better than a one parent house, almost every study ever done confirms that. The problem is, how to you change things without government social engineering? Especially when you consider that we're a species of individuals that don't all share the same values. Just because something works for me doesn't mean that it will work for everyone and that I should force you to live the same way or vise versa.

I guess if these problems could be fixed so easily, they wouldn't exist anymore.

[QUOTE="kussese"]

The article seems to suggest that the reason kids don't do well in school is because their parens aren't married. Correlation doesn't prove causation. Children born out of wedlock are most likely unwanted which results in crappy parenting. It has nothing do with the fact that both parents don't live in the same house. Both parents just suck at their jobs.

XaosII

I agree with this.

Im failing to see how any of the information posted is actually related to why marriage matters. As if two parents living together, while not married, will produce a child less healthy than the same situation, but married.

Regardless of what is taught in schools, doesn't a lot of it boil down to Monkey See - Monkey Do?

YellowOneKinobi

I don't believe that it's marriage that helps the family. I think it's the mentality of those who get married that helps the family. Generally, people who get married are more likely to wait until they're ready before marrying and are more likely to have children after marriage. They tend to be more religious, which provides structure in their spiritual lives and they also are healthier and more financially secure.Genetic_Code

Good read

Yellowone, this seems to be a topic that is far too often ignored. But it is important.

whipassmt

Marriage as a concept has nothing to do with it :?

What's marriage? Never heard of it. The idea of marriage is already a declining trend and will likely fade completely in the future, I'm sure.dnafactory

Out of curiosity: What "trend" would replace marriage at the end of its decline? Would we simply run around having sex with random partners and allow our kids to grow up in broken and strained environments?

I know it might seem that I'm getting a little extreme here but basically what I'm saying is that even if we stop calling it "marriage", monogamous relationships would still be important for child bearing and rearing.

Marriage doesn't fix these problems and seeing marriage as a cause for financial and social stability is a very ill-researched theory. There might be correlations towards what this column says, but to take marriage as this definite good is never ideal.

We could discuss how people who are averse to abortions are taking money away from taxpayers. But that's a discussion for the inevitable weekly abortion thread.

Marriage is a good idea when the couple that is considering it is financially, emotionally, and mentally ready. Shoehorning a marriage into a shotgun wedding where the irresponsible couple is already pregnant won't solve anything.

There are also multiple reasons why people are deciding that marriage isn't an option at this point. This isn't a bad thing, but women are starting to realize they don't have to be stuck in crappy marriages anymore if they aren't satisfied. In earlier decades this wouldn't have been an option and would have been far more taboo than it is today.

Marriage is incredibly expensive and in this modern economic climate, it's simply not viable for many people to get married. The problem is that people only seem to be looking at large expensive glamorous weddings when they could just as easily go to the court house and get married in a few minutes.

Marriage isn't a bad thing and I don't view it as such, but it shouldn't be used as a crutch when it isn't necessary or relevant.

If some teenager had sex with his highschool girlfriend and the girl became pregnant and they broke up, after 20 years the guy goes to a bar gets drunk then gets laid with a chick, that chick is his daughter.