Will you raise your kids the same way your parents raised you?

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Tigerman950

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#1 Tigerman950
Member since 2005 • 2517 Posts

Do you think you will raise your kids at least mostly similar to the way you were raised by your own parents, or do you think you will do it much differently? Which parts do you think you want to retain, and what would you change if you had kids?

My parents were born and raised in Pakistan, and came to the US a year before I was born. Though most of their customs were considered 'normal' or acceptable by the standards of this country, they still raised my siblings and me very differently than most American parents raised their children. I think I will end up raising my children much differently by being more authoritative (bring strict with certain rules but explaining to my kids the importance of following them) rather than being authoritarian like my parents were (being more forceful and implimenting a specific lifestyle to be had long into adulthood), and also being less pretentious and superficial but more open-minded. I prefer to allow my children to make their own decisions in terms of their futures (which career fields they wish to go into, etc.) and allow them to think for themselves a bit more often than my own parents did.

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CHOASXIII

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#3 CHOASXIII
Member since 2009 • 14716 Posts

I think I am alright with raising my kids the same that my parents did me.

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wis3boi

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#4 wis3boi
Member since 2005 • 32507 Posts

In some ways yes, others no.

My parents for example didn't mind me watching R movies or playing M games as long as I understood reality vs. virtual worlds, etc. No sense hiding what you'll see eventually.

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IustitiaMaximus

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#5 IustitiaMaximus
Member since 2012 • 895 Posts

No.

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KiIIyou

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#6 KiIIyou
Member since 2006 • 27204 Posts
Gonna throw bricks at em stead of rocks.
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zip0

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#7 zip0
Member since 2005 • 194 Posts

no because my parents are kind of anti-social and very worryful(is that a word?) people. I'm opposite to my parents whe it comes to this.

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chilly-chill

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#9 chilly-chill
Member since 2010 • 8902 Posts
More than likely yes.
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ExoticAnimal

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#10 ExoticAnimal
Member since 2010 • 39796 Posts
Hell no!
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ghoklebutter

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#11 ghoklebutter
Member since 2007 • 19327 Posts
Nope. I have a different worldview.
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JigglyWiggly_

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#12 JigglyWiggly_
Member since 2009 • 24625 Posts
lol no
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soulless4now

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#13 soulless4now
Member since 2003 • 41388 Posts

In some ways yes, but I strive to do a better job.

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KamuiFei

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#14 KamuiFei
Member since 2003 • 4334 Posts

No, mainly because my parents divorced when I was very young. And 12 years of my life I had to visit my dad every other week.

I hope I would never put my children in that same scenario and offer them a more normal life than I had. It kinda makes me sad thinking about it.

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GioVela2010

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#15 GioVela2010
Member since 2008 • 5566 Posts
Im doing an awesome job with my two children
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Rick_Sure

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#16 Rick_Sure
Member since 2011 • 371 Posts

You can't do it just like your parents. Things move on, I could play out on the street with little fear of getting bullied or worse when I was young. It's not the same now, You have to adapt, No one had internet when I was young, I have to concider allowing the kids on the computer now as I have no idea who they are talking to. The morals I was given will be passed down but the freedom I was given has to be tailered to the modern day.

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Philokalia

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#17 Philokalia
Member since 2012 • 2910 Posts

My parents raised me in a secular enviroment if I ever had children I would bring them up Orthodox though.

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deactivated-5c8e4e07d5510

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#18 deactivated-5c8e4e07d5510
Member since 2007 • 17401 Posts

My parents did a great job. Only difference is that I wouldn't raise them christian.

Though getting raised christian got me a nice trip to Europe in 11th grade... Who says religion never did anyone any good?

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ExoticAnimal

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#19 ExoticAnimal
Member since 2010 • 39796 Posts
Oh yea, I'll teach my kid science so that means I'll be a better parent than many of them out there. :P
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Bout_That_Life

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#20 Bout_That_Life
Member since 2012 • 36 Posts
No? I wouldn't ruin them like that.
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AussieePet

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#21 AussieePet
Member since 2010 • 11424 Posts
Sure my rents raised me well , but i will do it my way
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soulless4now

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#22 soulless4now
Member since 2003 • 41388 Posts
Oh yea, I'll teach my kid science so that means I'll be a better parent than many of them out there. :PExoticAnimal
You can't do science without math. :o
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ExoticAnimal

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#23 ExoticAnimal
Member since 2010 • 39796 Posts
[QUOTE="ExoticAnimal"]Oh yea, I'll teach my kid science so that means I'll be a better parent than many of them out there. :Psoulless4now
You can't do science without math. :o

Of course... math is a basic skill that everyone should know.
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lensflare15

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#24 lensflare15
Member since 2010 • 6652 Posts

If I had kids, I'd raise them simialr in some ways, and different in others. Though I'm not sure if I'd even want kids, parenting doesn't seem fun at all.

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Michael0134567

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#25 Michael0134567
Member since 2008 • 28651 Posts

I'm not sure.I never really thought about that.

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iloverikku11

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#26 iloverikku11
Member since 2005 • 11039 Posts

My parents did a great job. Only difference is that I wouldn't raise them christian.

Though getting raised christian got me a nice trip to Europe in 11th grade... Who says religion never did anyone any good?

Guppy507

This sounds similar to my case.

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Rick_Sure

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#27 Rick_Sure
Member since 2011 • 371 Posts

If I had kids, I'd raise them simialr in some ways, and different in others. Though I'm not sure if I'd even want kids, parenting doesn't seem fun at all.

lensflare15
So wrong. Kids are so much fun till they hit 13. 13-17 is a nightmare but you got 13 years of great fun and you get to play with Lego with out people thinking your crazy.
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Kashi_901

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#28 Kashi_901
Member since 2006 • 640 Posts

I doubt it.....my mom did a great job for the most part.....but she played favorites heavily

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AussieePet

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#29 AussieePet
Member since 2010 • 11424 Posts

[QUOTE="Guppy507"]

My parents did a great job. Only difference is that I wouldn't raise them christian.

Though getting raised christian got me a nice trip to Europe in 11th grade... Who says religion never did anyone any good?

iloverikku11

This sounds similar to my case.

Nice Kate upton sig
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Suzy_Q_Kazoo

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#30 Suzy_Q_Kazoo
Member since 2010 • 9899 Posts

My parents have done a good job, so I wouldn't consider it a bad thing to emulate their style at least somewhat. Of course it largely depends on my husband, if there is one, but hopefully his ideals and whatnot aren't terribly far from my own.

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British_Azimio

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#31 British_Azimio
Member since 2007 • 2459 Posts
Hell no.
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ShyGuy0504

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#32 ShyGuy0504
Member since 2009 • 1138 Posts

I'm not going to have children.

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ZumaJones07

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#33 ZumaJones07
Member since 2005 • 16457 Posts
yup, i will not hesitate to whoop my kids ass if he's being stupid lol
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painguy1

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#34 painguy1
Member since 2007 • 8686 Posts

Mostly the same yeah. My parents were pretty strict. I'd make a few changes here and there tho. I'd make sure to not let my kid start playing video games at the age of 4 like i did :P Then again that didn't hurt me as much since I didn't get addicted, but I'm not gonna take that risk wiht my kid. SCHOOL, SCHOOL, SCHOOL! teehee

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ExoticAnimal

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#35 ExoticAnimal
Member since 2010 • 39796 Posts
yup, i will not hesitate to whoop my kids ass if he's being stupid lolZumaJones07
How come your parents didn't do that to you?
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soulless4now

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#36 soulless4now
Member since 2003 • 41388 Posts
[QUOTE="soulless4now"][QUOTE="ExoticAnimal"]Oh yea, I'll teach my kid science so that means I'll be a better parent than many of them out there. :PExoticAnimal
You can't do science without math. :o

Of course... math is a basic skill that everyone should know.

Only up to algebra one....
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Rick_Sure

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#37 Rick_Sure
Member since 2011 • 371 Posts

Mostly the same yeah. My parents were pretty strict. I'd make a few changes here and there tho. I'd make sure to not let my kid start playing video games at the age of 4 like i did :P Then again that didn't hurt me as much since I didn't get addicted, but I'm not gonna take that risk wiht my kid. SCHOOL, SCHOOL, SCHOOL! teehee

painguy1
Video games are a good learning tool for hand eye co-ordination which helps for basic things like writing. As long as you are not sitting the kid at a wii so you don't have to deal with them, like anything else such as tv it is useful and can help development. There are many good games on the bbc website to help kids learn as well. I wish learning was as fun when I was a kid.
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ExoticAnimal

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#38 ExoticAnimal
Member since 2010 • 39796 Posts
[QUOTE="ExoticAnimal"][QUOTE="soulless4now"]You can't do science without math. :o soulless4now
Of course... math is a basic skill that everyone should know.

Only up to algebra one....

Nope. Calc or gtfo!
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ZumaJones07

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#39 ZumaJones07
Member since 2005 • 16457 Posts
[QUOTE="ZumaJones07"]yup, i will not hesitate to whoop my kids ass if he's being stupid lolExoticAnimal
How come your parents didn't do that to you?

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Michael0134567

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#40 Michael0134567
Member since 2008 • 28651 Posts

[QUOTE="ExoticAnimal"][QUOTE="ZumaJones07"]yup, i will not hesitate to whoop my kids ass if he's being stupid lolZumaJones07
How come your parents didn't do that to you?

I lol'd.

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bub166

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#41 bub166
Member since 2006 • 2607 Posts

I'm not set on having children, honestly. It's a possibility, but at the moment, I'm against the idea.

If I do, however, some things will need alteration. My parents raised me well, but a large part of it is that I matured incredibly fast, compared to my peers. Being born with Asperger's syndrome, I needed help with a lot of things at first. I just recently learned to tie my shoes, for instance. But my intelligence was well beyond average and I was able to make decisions quite easily, after considering all of the variables and possible outcomes. However, they did supply the proper environment, and whatever I need to further my studies, they have no problems getting it for me; whether it be a book on the Russian language, or Cosmos by Carl Sagan.

There are a few big things that I don't like, though. The first thing to go would be religious teachings; while my parents are not very religious, I still had to go to church more than enough to be uncomfortable. I would not specifically tell my children that there is no deity, though. I'd let them experiment with whatever they want, and settle on what they think is best. It was painful to leave behind the great vision of afterlife in exchange for "freedom." I'm happy with the results, more than happy in fact, but the process is horrible and I'd never want to give my children the opportunity to go through it.

Next, though it's related to the last point, I would crush any negative feelings of homosexuality. While I'm not homosexual personally, I do have a cousin that is. Even though she's no different than she was before she came out as a homosexually, she has still become the laughing stock of the family. And she didn't even do anything laughable! All of the jokes are purely discriminatory. This contradicted my own views, which I had formed independently, that it was natural. I had reached those views through reasoning alone, because as I said, religion never was a huge part of the family, so it was never really discussed. So needless to say, I became hopelessly confused when this evidently gave reason to scrutinize her. I'd say that this was one of the major things that led to the contemplation of the religious views I held at the time, and eventually led to me abandoning them altogether.

Finally, I'd have to change some things in terms of politics; I can't explain how long I went hating Democrats because they were Democrats. Now, that logic makes absolutely no sense to me. Alas, that's how I was raised, as my parents are rather dedicated conservatives. My views have now nearly reversed; I no longer label myself a Republican. I have no political affiliation now, to be precise. For my children, I would probably present to them countless articles related to elections as they grow up. I would give no input of my own; that way, they can decide for themselves how they want to vote when they are able.

So, to conclude, I'd combine the methods I was raised by with my own ideas, to an extent. I don't intend to push any of my ideals on them, at all, unlike my parents. To be fair, though, they didn't have any intention of it; I guess they just kind of assumed my views would be the same as theirs, as in central Nebraska, there is not much variation. But there a lot of things I would keep the same. Specifically, I would fund their interests, and introduce multiple careers from an early age. Many types of sciences, arts, and anything, really. But who knows, things could change.

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Rick_Sure

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#42 Rick_Sure
Member since 2011 • 371 Posts
[QUOTE="ZumaJones07"]yup, i will not hesitate to whoop my kids ass if he's being stupid lolExoticAnimal
How come your parents didn't do that to you?

They did, see what happened!
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Shottayouth13-

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#43 Shottayouth13-
Member since 2009 • 7018 Posts
I'll raise them to be more open minded. Other things will remain about the same; my parents raised their children well.
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kriggy

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#44 kriggy
Member since 2008 • 1314 Posts

Probably yes, I think my parents did a good job, even if I felt like I needed a bit more help with my homework at times, so that's something I will try to change.

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Kocelot

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#45 Kocelot
Member since 2011 • 816 Posts

Yes. Definitely, of course.
My parents raised me to be an optimistic, happy, slim and healthy asian boy with a little brother for company.

They told me to chase my dreams, and never forced me to be what i didn't want to be.

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coolbeans90

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#46 coolbeans90
Member since 2009 • 21305 Posts

In some respects, yes. Others, not at all.

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famicommander

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#47 famicommander
Member since 2008 • 8524 Posts
Absolutely. My parents gave me the freedom to make my own mistakes and the guidance to help learn from them. They punished me strictly when I deserved it and I can't think of a time I was punished where I didn't deserve it. My dad made it a point to make sure all of his sons developed skepticism and critical thinking at a young age and I will do the same. I think this is something that a lot of modern parents fail to do on a grand scale.
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tocool340

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#48 tocool340
Member since 2004 • 21695 Posts
For the most part, no. I'd do all types of activities with my kid that my dad (Mostly him since I lived with most my childhood life..) and mom never did with me. And I know how to control my emotions better than both so I won't be beating them if they do something not entirely worthy of it, though I will discipline them physically if necessary. More importantly, both parents will be there to raise them. I wouldn't have a kid if I knew me and the baby momma wouldn't stay together for long....
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pspdseagle

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#49 pspdseagle
Member since 2007 • 3307 Posts
Not, especially not like my mom.
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Rick_Sure

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#50 Rick_Sure
Member since 2011 • 371 Posts

For the most part, no. I'd do all types of activities with my kid that my dad (Mostly him since I lived with most my childhood life..) and mom never did with me. And I know how to control my emotions better than both so I won't be beating them if they do something not entirely worthy of it, though I will discipline them physically if necessary. More importantly, both parents will be there to raise them. I wouldn't have a kid if I knew me and the baby momma wouldn't stay together for long....tocool340

Physical discipline is not needed if you give them the right direction early and is never productive. You don't want your kids to fear you or you will never know them.