Would you have shook his hand?

So, there's this 'slow' kid in my 3D animation period. He's always spitting mucus into his hands, wiping snot away with his palms and doing a bunch of other disgusting stuff. This kid also likes shaking hands. Know where this is going yet? Possibly. Keep going.

So, today, he came up to me. He stood in front of my computer, and stared down at me--in full silence--for an entire minute. It was kind of creepy. I looked up at him with a huge "WTF?" look on my face. That's when he extended his right hand. The hand he did most of his wiping with. The hand I saw go in and out and in and out and in again into his pants rhythmically under the desk one day. The hand he spits balls of mucus into every two minutes.

"Oh God," I thought. "He wants me to shake his hand."

Thoughts popped into my head. "Go ahead, shake it. You could always use hand sanitizer after." Another voice came into my head. "Touch that hand and you're never coming near me again!" This voice came "below the border", South, my Lil' StaindShadow, if you know what I mean. "You're right!" I thought. So, I eliminated this idea, because I'd still have touched his hand. I would never look at my right hand again without thinking "I want to cut you off." Besides, I didn't have any hand sanitizer. If I did, I wouldn't have had enough. Yes, his hands are that gross.

Another idea took it's place. "You could pretend you don't see his hand!" No, no. That's no good. He saw me look at his hand. (I'm sure he also saw the look of terror that had swept across my face the instant I saw his sweaty palm appear inches from my face.) This idea, too, was discarded.

Time had slowed to a crawl. I had an idea.

"No, it'd never work," I thought. "Then again..." My idea had been set into motion.

This whole time, my arms were at my sides. I wiggled my wrists, making the little-bit-too-big jacket's arms slide over my hands. Then, I raised my arms to face level. It looked like I had no hands. "Sorry, dude. I don't have any hands," I said to him.

"Oh. Okay," he said, his hand still outreached.

"Okay," I said. He withdrew his hand. "I would, but...no hands."

"See you tomorrow," he said.

"You too," I replied.

So, I convinced a slow kid I had no hands to avoid shaking his hands. If you knew this kid--trust me, you would have known my dread when I eyed his surely diseased ridden hands.

So. Would you have shook his hand?

PS: If anyone's interested, I've got some tales about this kid if you want to hear them.

So, there's this 'slow' kid in my 3D animation period. He's always spitting mucus into his handsStaindShadow

Honestly, if the kid was standing right in front of me staring me down, then I probably would've just bit the bullet and shaken his hand.

I would've then asked to go to the bathroom, where I'd scrub that hand raw.

Ok. first off, LOL.

now that ive got that outta my system, Two Words

knuckle. bump.

Better hope he doesn't see you with hands, or else he's going to call you out as a phony.GettingTired

...Until he forgets. Which will probably be by...tomorrow. If he doesn't, I'll tell him I grew them overnight. Or that it was a miracle. Or that I'm borrowing them from a friend.

[QUOTE="GettingTired"]Better hope he doesn't see you with hands, or else he's going to call you out as a phony.StaindShadow

...Until he forgets. Which will probably be by...tomorrow. If he doesn't, I'll tell him I grew them overnight. Or that it was a miracle. Or that I'm borrowing them from a friend.

Better hope he doesn't see you with hands, or else he's going to call you out as a phony.GettingTired

Ok. first off, LOL.

now that ive got that outta my system, Two Words

knuckle. bump.

Pinkyimp

Steps to make everybody happy without avoiding the situation:

1. Buy latex gloves.
2. Put on said latex gloves.
3. [slash]Touch her shoulder[/slash]Shake his hand
4. ????
5. Profit!

*note: Gamespot needs to fix their code to include strikeouts, let alone fix their HTML errors. Also, code script doesn't work as well.

If a gross person held out his hand for no reason, I would say, "Yes?" and wait for a response.SpidersRMe

[QUOTE="SpidersRMe"]If a gross person held out his hand for no reason, I would say, "Yes?" and wait for a response.Jandurin

Mine would be more like this:

If a random person held out his hand for no reason, I would say, "Yes?" and wait for a response.

And whenever I quote your posts, it takes out all the... Enter spaces. Whatever you call those. You know what I mean.

I dunno, if they looked important or something, I think I'd shake.

SpidersRMe

[QUOTE="SpidersRMe"]I dunno, if they looked important or something, I think I'd shake.Jandurin

I said "simply" twice. I'm talking like a crazy person.

[QUOTE="GettingTired"]Better hope he doesn't see you with hands, or else he's going to call you out as a phony.Nasty_butler_9

Okay, more about him.

Well, there was one day he came to school with one purple glove on his left hand, and a black on his left. I heard the kid next to him ask why he was wearing two different gloves. His reply? "They're my penis favorite gloves."

...:cry:

Pretty much every day this kid will have conversations with himself. BOTH sides of the conversation. Oh, and they're usually the same conversations. I can't exactly understand all of them...something about "little buddies" and skittles.

His computer is in front and to the left one of mine. So, I can easily see whatever he's doing on it. I'll see him make penis like objects. I do not know if this is intentional or not.

He's CONSTANTLY--and this is no exaggeration--clearing his throat. He must have some kind of mucus problem. Every minute you hear "UCCK! ACCK! UUUUUH! UUUUUUUUUUH!" etc, etc. And he does it loudly.

He goes wherever he wants, when he wants. "I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM!" he'll yell, and leave the room before he gets a yes or no. "I'M GOING TO GET A DRINK!" Same deal as before.

He sits against a wall. He bangs his head against this wall...a lot.

He masturbates in his little shorts.

He once humped a chair. In the middle of class.

One time, he laughed like a poor man's Peter Griffin for several minutes straight.

He'll shout out random noises.

He'll bang his hands against the wall while making said random noises.

Just today, he put his hands above his head--like he was on a rollercoaster--and started swinging them wildly. He ended up ***** smacking the kid next to him. Many lulz were had.

He'll stare at random people for different amounts of time. It's short, if you're lucky. Because, let me tell you, this kid has some crazy, beady little eyes. Once, he turned around and stared at me the ENTIRE PERIOD! Oh, but that's not the worst part. The worst part was when he said "...I love you.":?:cry: OMGHOLYCRAPWTFMOMMY!!!

I think that's all right now. If I remember any more, I'll definitely post. :)

Well, there was one day he came to school with one purple glove on his left hand, and a black on his left. I heard the kid next to him ask why he was wearing two different gloves. His reply? "They're my penis favorite gloves."StaindShadow

I said "simply" twice. I'm talking like a crazy person.

SpidersRMe

"Once, he turned around and stared at me the ENTIRE PERIOD! Oh, but that's not the worst part. The worst part was when he said "...I love you."OMGHOLYCRAPWTFMOMMY!!!"

That alone made your post.

Wait, like Foreign_Guy slow? Or like mentally retarded slow?Nasty_butler_9

[QUOTE="Nasty_butler_9"]Wait, like Foreign_Guy slow? Or like mentally retarded slow?the_foreign_guy

He masturbates in his little shorts.

StaindShadow

:|

...There are so many things about this that I want/would hate to know.

Back on topic, I wouldn't shake his hands, but I don't think I would have been as sly as you. I'd probably just pretend to not see him at all, or just walk away. I'm very cold when I don't know what to do. :?

:lol: This thread had me laughing uncontollably in school tonight. My instuctor was looking at me like wtf.

There's no way in hell I would have shook his hand either.

I'd have dropped a couple cents in his hand and turned back to whatever I was doing.

No way would i have shooken his hand i would have just patted him on the shoulder or something like that but seriously how the hell did the idea of faking that u have no hands come into your head???lol

He masturbates in his little shorts.

He once humped a chair. In the middle of cla$s.

He'll stare at random people for different amounts of time. It's short, if you're lucky. Because, let me tell you, this kid has some crazy, beady little eyes. Once, he turned around and stared at me the ENTIRE PERIOD! Oh, but that's not the worst part. The worst part was when he said "...I love you.":?:cry: OMGHOLYCRAPWTFMOMMY!!!

StaindShadow

Wow. This kid is ****** up in the side of the head. I'd never shake his hand. And if he came up to me wanting me to shake his hand, here's the scenario:

*Mucus boy walks up to me, offers up his hand for me to shake it*
*I turn, (I also know that he does what he does. Basically, I'm in your shoes) I say "Hell no! I am not shaking your disgusting hand!" And could care less what he does, hand if he hits me, then he'd get a beating.*

When you mentioned -> He masturbates in his little shorts. He once humped a chair. In the middle of ****
That was the part where I went "OMFFFG This kid has some real problems. It is thousands of leagues away from normal if there is kid doing 'that' at school."

[QUOTE="StaindShadow"]

So, there's this 'slow' kid in my 3D animation period. He's always spitting mucus into his handsthe_foreign_guy