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Would you have shook his hand?

StaindShadow · 2009-01-20 05:39:23

So, there's this 'slow' kid in my 3D animation period. He's always spitting mucus into his hands, wiping snot away with his palms and doing a bunch of other disgusting stuff. This kid also likes shaking hands. Know where this is going yet? Possibly. Keep going. So, today, he came up to me. He stood in front of my computer, and stared down at me--in full silence--for an entire minute. It was kind of creepy. I looked up at him with a huge 'WTF?' look on my face. That's when he extended his right hand. The hand he did most of his wiping with. The hand I saw go in and out and in and out and in again into his pants rhythmically under the desk one day. The hand he spits balls of mucus into every two minutes.'Oh God,' I thought. 'He wants me to shake his hand.' Thoughts popped into my head. 'Go ahead, shake it. You could always use hand sanitizer after.' Another voice came into my head. 'Touch that hand and you're never coming near me again!' This voice came 'below the border', South, my Lil' StaindShadow, if you know what I mean. 'You're right!' I thought. So, I eliminated this idea, because I'd still have touched his hand. I would never look at my right hand again without thinking 'I want to cut you off.' Besides, I didn't have any hand sanitizer. If I did, I wouldn't have had enough. Yes, his hands are that gross.Another idea took it's place. 'You could pretend you don't see his hand!' No, no. That's no good. He saw me look at his hand. (I'm sure he also saw the look of terror that had swept across my face the instant I saw his sweaty palm appear inches from my face.) This idea, too, was discarded.Time had slowed to a crawl. I had an idea.'No, it'd never work,' I thought. 'Then again...' My idea had been set into motion.This whole time, my arms were at my sides. I wiggled my wrists, making the little-bit-too-big jacket's arms slide over my hands. Then, I raised my arms to face level. It looked like I had no hands. 'Sorry, dude. I don't have any hands,' I said to him.'Oh. Okay,' he said, his hand still outreached. 'Okay,' I said. He withdrew his hand. 'I would, but...no hands.' 'See you tomorrow,' he said. 'You too,' I replied.So, I convinced a slow kid I had no hands to avoid shaking his hands. If you knew this kid--trust me, you would have known my dread when I eyed his surely diseased ridden hands.So. Would you have shook his hand? PS: If anyone's interested, I've got some tales about this kid if you want to hear them.

MOCHIRON_MAN

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#51 MOCHIRON_MAN

Member since 2008 • 1359 Posts

i wouldn't do it. creative way to dodge the bullet.shoeman12

I would've just rejected it outright. I'm not even going to bother dodging it. just say, get away from me. lol

16 years ago

gobo212

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#53 gobo212

Member since 2003 • 6277 Posts

[QUOTE="Nasty_butler_9"][QUOTE="GettingTired"]Better hope he doesn't see you with hands, or else he's going to call you out as a phony.Joker1232003

*Funny pic lol

Ha. That's the first thing I thought of when I read that.

16 years ago

FragStains

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#54 FragStains

Member since 2003 • 20668 Posts

Entertaining read. I experienced laugh.

16 years ago

sam280992

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#55 sam280992

Member since 2007 • 3754 Posts

I would have given him one dirty backhand across the face. :)

16 years ago

Artekus

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#56 Artekus

Member since 2008 • 15700 Posts

I would probably have set him on fire. Purge the unclean!

16 years ago

warbmxjohn

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#57 warbmxjohn

Member since 2007 • 6014 Posts

Yeah theres no way I'm shaking play-with-himself-in-class-kids hand no matter what.. Adding mucus only solidifies that. He walks up to me with his hand out for a handshake and I would ask "What do you want?" Then I would prolly tell him to go crank one out or whatever with his nasty mucus lube...

16 years ago

Would you have shook his hand?

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