wow.... Is my friend a real douchbag? or am I missing something here...

I'm 25 now...

So check it, both my family and my friend's families are pretty conservative. Back in High School we were best friends - did just about everything together. Freshmen year of high school he branches out, and I follow along... start smoking pot like, a year later drink whenever the opportunity arises.

Freshmen year of college rolls around -- his brother ends up catching me talking about some weed I am bring back home that weekend. He goes Al Qaeda on us, and gives us hell for a good week. My buddy after that point never looks back, and gets all straight edge again -- props for him, whatever. However, I tell him that I straight up will not be threatened into doing **** -- but I need to find myself... by myself.

Our relationship drifts... mostly my fault, since I stop going home on the weekends at this point, because I'm just furious at the way his brother handled the entire situation. After a while, we slowly drift apart.

It's been what... 5 years... however we still see each other a few times a year, and remain friends, or I would imagine.

He's getting married, and I want to grab lunch or dinner with him to catch up before he ties the knot.

Left him a voicemail almost 2 weeks ago..... nothing.

Text........ nothing

Call and emailed him yesterday....... nothing

Kicker:

Hasn't personally invited me to the wedding, even though he's had the opportunity to. Rather, I'm invited via my family's invitation.

OR SO I THOUGHT.... turns out, I just get a phone call from my mom saying she had misread the invitation. The wedding invitation is... just for her and my Dad. I am invited to the post-wedding reception though... What The #$$$$$$$!@#?

Yes,I'm about to grab a pack of smokes... though I quit a while ago, I could use something to calm me down a bit. It's amazing man, how quickly a good friendship can be overlooked.

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Am I over reacting or is my friend just a total douchebag?

So? He moved on and you moved on. Friends don't have to last forever. Your choices are different than his.

So? He moved on and you moved on. Friends don't have to last forever. Your choices are different than his.

LJS9502_basic

I do admit, that I usually feel that others are like me. I personally can't hold a grudge, ever. In fact, I still hold a special kind of love for everyone who has made my life what it is today... whether its best friends in elementary school, or whether its a coworker at an intern. Especially when it comes ot a best friend whom I hung with almost every day through high school... it's just a bit heart breaking to find out they don't share the same feelings.

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]

So? He moved on and you moved on. Friends don't have to last forever. Your choices are different than his.

SquatsAreAwesom

[QUOTE="SquatsAreAwesom"][QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]

So? He moved on and you moved on. Friends don't have to last forever. Your choices are different than his.

LJS9502_basic

I guess. Maybe this is my biggest lesson so far in life. I do admit, that I usually feel that others are like me. I personally can't hold a grudge, ever. In fact, I still hold a special kind of love for everyone who has made my life what it is today... whether its best friends in elementary school, or whether its a coworker at an intern. Especially when it comes ot a best friend whom I hung with almost every day through high school... it's just a bit heart breaking to find out they don't share the same feelingsSquatsAreAwesom

It was your fault. No offense but you were a loser and he saw that and moved on. You two obviously havn't talked for 5 yrs so he probably still thinks you're a loser. Go to the wedding and talk to him. He is not a douche.cpo335

[QUOTE="SquatsAreAwesom"]I guess. Maybe this is my biggest lesson so far in life. I do admit, that I usually feel that others are like me. I personally can't hold a grudge, ever. In fact, I still hold a special kind of love for everyone who has made my life what it is today... whether its best friends in elementary school, or whether its a coworker at an intern. Especially when it comes ot a best friend whom I hung with almost every day through high school... it's just a bit heart breaking to find out they don't share the same feelingsLJS9502_basic

He's a dbag. He could at least have personally told you why he isn't inviting you and how you could fix your relaionship with him. Unfortunately he wussed out and pulled the whole silent treatment technique.

He's a dbag. He could at least have personally told you why he isn't inviting you and how you could fix your relaionship with him. Unfortunately he wussed out and pulled the whole silent treatment technique.

Dopemonk736

He's a dbag. He could at least have personally told you why he isn't inviting you and how you could fix your relaionship with him. Unfortunately he wussed out and pulled the whole silent treatment technique.

Dopemonk736

Sounds like you need to move on.

[QUOTE="Dopemonk736"]

He's a dbag. He could at least have personally told you why he isn't inviting you and how you could fix your relaionship with him. Unfortunately he wussed out and pulled the whole silent treatment technique.

LJS9502_basic

[QUOTE="cpo335"]It was your fault. No offense but you were a loser and he saw that and moved on. You two obviously havn't talked for 5 yrs so he probably still thinks you're a loser. Go to the wedding and talk to him. He is not a douche.SquatsAreAwesom

[QUOTE="Dopemonk736"]

He's a dbag. He could at least have personally told you why he isn't inviting you and how you could fix your relaionship with him. Unfortunately he wussed out and pulled the whole silent treatment technique.

LJS9502_basic

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]

[QUOTE="Dopemonk736"]

He's a dbag. He could at least have personally told you why he isn't inviting you and how you could fix your relaionship with him. Unfortunately he wussed out and pulled the whole silent treatment technique.

SquatsAreAwesom

[QUOTE="SquatsAreAwesom"][QUOTE="cpo335"]It was your fault. No offense but you were a loser and he saw that and moved on. You two obviously havn't talked for 5 yrs so he probably still thinks you're a loser. Go to the wedding and talk to him. He is not a douche.cpo335

[QUOTE="cpo335"][QUOTE="SquatsAreAwesom"] Thanks for not reading my post.SquatsAreAwesom

People drift. I knew someone at school, we were fairly good friends, we all went away to uni, and by the time myself, and others came back for the first Christmas break he just blanked us. Erased us from his life, because he believed he had moved on. And that is fine if not a little frustrating at first. It is just jarring to see it happen all of a sudden, but it is their choice, and if that is what they want, you won't be able to change it. You just have to adjust to their actions.

Isn't it his right who he wants to invite and who he doesn't? It's not like you've tried to reach out to him these past five years only until recently when he's getting married, but I bet your families have kept in contact with each other which is probably why they are invited.

Weather it's your actions that caused you to stray apart, I don't know. But he's the one trying to start a family and your the one claiming that your "friend" your reaching out to is a douche. As rude as it is that he hasn't even replied to your messages explaining why he isn't talking to you right now.

If you really want to be a better man, than go to the reception and congratulate him on his wedding, maybe that way you can rectify your friendship if it's important to you.

i wouldn't go to that wedding if i were you,i think you both have your interpretations on events,you need to talk about it,but i really doubt if his wedding is the best place and best time for that.

i wouldn't go to that wedding if i were you,i think you both have your interpretations on events,you need to talk about it,but i really doubt if his wedding is the best place and best time for that.

VaguelyTagged

Stop smoking pot that's my feedback.Pittfan666

People drift. I knew someone at school, we were fairly good friends, we all went away to uni, and by the time myself, and others came back for the first Christmas break he just blanked us. Erased us from his life, because he believed he had moved on. And that is fine if not a little frustrating at first. It is just jarring to see it happen all of a sudden, but it is their choice, and if that is what they want, you won't be able to change it. You just have to adjust to their actions.

Samwel_X

[QUOTE="Samwel_X"]

People drift. I knew someone at school, we were fairly good friends, we all went away to uni, and by the time myself, and others came back for the first Christmas break he just blanked us. Erased us from his life, because he believed he had moved on. And that is fine if not a little frustrating at first. It is just jarring to see it happen all of a sudden, but it is their choice, and if that is what they want, you won't be able to change it. You just have to adjust to their actions.

SquatsAreAwesom

Squats...he's friendly with you. He just doesn't want to be friends if you can understand the difference. Don't take it personally.

LJS9502_basic

Sad but true. Accept it.

[QUOTE="SquatsAreAwesom"][QUOTE="Samwel_X"]

People drift. I knew someone at school, we were fairly good friends, we all went away to uni, and by the time myself, and others came back for the first Christmas break he just blanked us. Erased us from his life, because he believed he had moved on. And that is fine if not a little frustrating at first. It is just jarring to see it happen all of a sudden, but it is their choice, and if that is what they want, you won't be able to change it. You just have to adjust to their actions.

LJS9502_basic

Maybe I just need some time to let this register.

It's mostly my fault for assuming I was going to the wedding... then finding out I'm not even invited.

I'll certainly go to the reception. I'm not going to be passive aggressive about the situation, I just need to vent before the time comes.

More then anything, I think you all are right. I think I just have a huge problem with 'moving on'. I think I just have a general problem of just... clearing my cache of friends, so to speak. Rather, anytime I see someone I recognize, I get a glee of happyness. More so, with people who were a large part of my life at one point or another.

[QUOTE="SquatsAreAwesom"][QUOTE="xaos"]Does your blog know about this?xaos

i think that is a low blow to send a message especially to an old friend

Well it sounds like the friendship was over a long time ago, but it was kind of shallow of him. Crash the wedding.

i think that is a low blow to send a message especially to an old friend

muller39

i think that is a low blow to send a message especially to an old friend

I think you're both just drifiting apart. It happens.