Yet another Friendship/Relationship issue.

So, me and a couple friends about 6 years back got really close.

Consequently one of them is 5 years older than me and had fallen in love with me 3 years ago. This friend doesn't think anyone else is out there that can make him as happy as I make him although neither of us have been in a relationship together.

Its like he craves speaking to me or being around me or then he feels super depressed. Sometimes I feel that I should stop talking to him altogether for him to move on with his life but he's a great friend.

I just don't want him to be held down because of his "love" for me. I know i can never see myself with him and I put it as bluntly as possible but I know the thought of him and I being together will forever linger in his mind.

According to D.H Lawrence, "The cruelest thing a man can do to a woman is to portray her as perfection." and that's exactly what he portrays me as. I try being a little mean for him to back off but sometimes it gets truly annoying and I really need him to learn to live without me. I care enough for him as a friend that I would like to see him happy.

Thoughts? Sever the friendship or linger in at times misery where I can hardly describe my feelings for someone else without him feeling a tinge of jealousy?

restraining order

Did you really bluntly tell him there was never a chance you two would be together? Or did you in your mind tell him as much? I'm asking because guys need to be told bluntly things like this not hinting at , or suggestions...

Idk maybe try to set him up with someone else.

No, I mean BLUNTLY on SEVERAL occasions. He like pictures marrying me and stuff. Its odd but I really do care about him as a friend... But sometimes this desire to get with me overshadows the benefits. Like I probably told him over 500 times that there is NO future between us in those exact words. And that I can/will not ever date him.

No, I mean BLUNTLY on SEVERAL occasions. He like pictures marrying me and stuff. Its odd but I really do care about him as a friend... But sometimes this desire to get with me overshadows the benefits. Like I probably told him over 500 times that there is NO future between us in those exact words. And that I can/will not ever date him.

MyztifyingAngel

You need to cut things off for a bit then. If you told him bluntly there is no "us" in the future and he persists you need a time out. This can be fixed, he just needs a cool off period. No contact will do wonders and will truly show how much each of you value the friendship

Find something that he hates and either say you like it or do it.

If he stills views you as perfect, then run for the hills - he is basement away from trying to prove you two should be together.

[QUOTE="MyztifyingAngel"]

No, I mean BLUNTLY on SEVERAL occasions. He like pictures marrying me and stuff. Its odd but I really do care about him as a friend... But sometimes this desire to get with me overshadows the benefits. Like I probably told him over 500 times that there is NO future between us in those exact words. And that I can/will not ever date him.

solidruss

You need to cut things off for a bit then. If you told him bluntly there is no "us" in the future and he persists you need a time out. This can be fixed, he just needs a cool off period. No contact will do wonders and will truly show how much each of you value the friendship

This friend of mine had this EXACT problem, he practically loved a friend of mine,who was dating someone else. Thing was, he was crazy, he would portray her as a goddess, and one day, after quite some time, she got so anoyed she told him to **** off.

They never taked again, funny enough, she ended pregnant at 16 and he is currently a complete fail at everything.

All i can say that may be helpfull is, schrodingers cat.

[QUOTE="solidruss"]

[QUOTE="MyztifyingAngel"]

No, I mean BLUNTLY on SEVERAL occasions. He like pictures marrying me and stuff. Its odd but I really do care about him as a friend... But sometimes this desire to get with me overshadows the benefits. Like I probably told him over 500 times that there is NO future between us in those exact words. And that I can/will not ever date him.

MyztifyingAngel

You need to cut things off for a bit then. If you told him bluntly there is no "us" in the future and he persists you need a time out. This can be fixed, he just needs a cool off period. No contact will do wonders and will truly show how much each of you value the friendship

3 months? Jesus, unless you really enjoy spending time with him you need to lose him. The dude obviously doesn't get it...

This friend of mine had this EXACT problem, he practically loved a friend of mine,who was dating someone else. Thing was, he was crazy, he would portray her as a goddess, and one day, after quite some time, she got so anoyed she told him to **** off.

They never taked again, funny enough, she ended pregnant at 16 and he is currently a complete fail at everything.

All i can say that may be helpfull is, schrodingers cat.

CosmicZombie

I mean, would you stop talking to a friend with a chronic illness because the fact that he loves you annoys you?

I mean, would you stop talking to a friend with a chronic illness because the fact that he loves you annoys you?

MyztifyingAngel

Ball is in your court. You're complaining that he's too clingy but you also want to keep hanging with him... double standards at this point.

[QUOTE="solidruss"]

[QUOTE="MyztifyingAngel"]

No, I mean BLUNTLY on SEVERAL occasions. He like pictures marrying me and stuff. Its odd but I really do care about him as a friend... But sometimes this desire to get with me overshadows the benefits. Like I probably told him over 500 times that there is NO future between us in those exact words. And that I can/will not ever date him.

MyztifyingAngel

You need to cut things off for a bit then. If you told him bluntly there is no "us" in the future and he persists you need a time out. This can be fixed, he just needs a cool off period. No contact will do wonders and will truly show how much each of you value the friendship

Alright, i'm gonna be honest/serious on this

i could see it like this

1. You kinda smile and be somewhat playful when you say "No i will NEVER go out with you" even if it's slight, it still might be keeping his hopes up (possibility)

2. He is screwy/needy (fact)

I don't understand what's keeping you in contact with this guy in all honesty but w/e. There's not much else you can really do, other than accept it (which would be the wrong thing to do) or just stop hangin with him. He could go bat**** crazy if you just leave him forever so watchout for that definetly. You pretty much knew the answer yourself though, you really need to forget about him.

I mean, would you stop talking to a friend with a chronic illness because the fact that he loves you annoys you?

MyztifyingAngel

yea if you stop talking to him he'll move on

[QUOTE="MyztifyingAngel"]

I mean, would you stop talking to a friend with a chronic illness because the fact that he loves you annoys you?

solidruss

Ball is in your court. You're complaining that he's too clingy but you also want to keep hanging with him... double standards at this point.

[QUOTE="MyztifyingAngel"][QUOTE="solidruss"]

You need to cut things off for a bit then. If you told him bluntly there is no "us" in the future and he persists you need a time out. This can be fixed, he just needs a cool off period. No contact will do wonders and will truly show how much each of you value the friendship

iBear-

Alright, i'm gonna be honest/serious on this

i could see it like this

1. You kinda smile and be somewhat playful when you say "No i will NEVER go out with you" even if it's slight, it still might be keeping his hopes up (possibility)

2. He is screwy/needy (fact)

I don't understand what's keeping you in contact with this guy in all honesty but w/e. There's not much else you can really do, other than accept it (which would be the wrong thing to do) or just stop hangin with him. He could go bat**** crazy if you just leave him forever so watchout for that definetly. You pretty much knew the answer yourself though, you really need to forget about him.

[QUOTE="solidruss"]

[QUOTE="MyztifyingAngel"]

I mean, would you stop talking to a friend with a chronic illness because the fact that he loves you annoys you?

MyztifyingAngel

Ball is in your court. You're complaining that he's too clingy but you also want to keep hanging with him... double standards at this point.

What you just said proves it's time to end all connection with him. Do it now and move on with your life. In the long run he will get over it...

So, me and a couple friends about 6 years back got really close.MyztifyingAngel

:lol:

But seriously orgy?

Okay some users went a bit too far on this topic. Move on folks.