Funniest + Truest Review of Bioshock.

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koza_76

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#1 koza_76
Member since 2005 • 338 Posts

I stumbled accross this surfing the interweeb and was wonderin if anyone else has known about this guy? He's awesome. He put exactly the way I feel about Bioshock.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/1394-Zero-Punctuation-BioShock

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mfsa

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#2 mfsa
Member since 2007 • 3328 Posts

that is utterly hilarious - awesome find

he also pretty much exactly sums up my thoughts about bioshock, probably the best game of the year, but still just an utterly bastardised version of system shock 2

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Frozzik

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#3 Frozzik
Member since 2006 • 3914 Posts
as much as i loved bioshock this review is so true. So funny too. Best review ever.
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Swiftstrike5

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#4 Swiftstrike5
Member since 2005 • 6950 Posts
Lol that was great... I love how he picked on Consoles so much.
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Grantelicious

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#5 Grantelicious
Member since 2007 • 1541 Posts
Cant wait to see more of his reviews
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0_Wii_Man_0

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#6 0_Wii_Man_0
Member since 2006 • 919 Posts
stole it from the bioshock forums...
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dbowman

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#7 dbowman
Member since 2005 • 6836 Posts
I saw that earlier today. Really really funny.
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dilathrilla

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#8 dilathrilla
Member since 2004 • 138 Posts

Grantelicious, Your sig is the best one I've ever seen.

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WALLIX

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#9 WALLIX
Member since 2002 • 2048 Posts
I about fell out of my seat when it showed the turret holding the, "F$%K THE POPE" sign.
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NoAssKicker47

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#11 NoAssKicker47
Member since 2004 • 2855 Posts
Yeah, I saw it earlier today. Found it on the page of the Far Cry 2 demo. It's hilarious.
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psp-freak

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#12 psp-freak
Member since 2005 • 528 Posts
"Durr I push the buttons and the man falls down" lol this guys hates consolers
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Platearmor_6

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#13 Platearmor_6
Member since 2004 • 2817 Posts
You know.... I loved Bioshock but everything bad he says about it is so true, and put in such a funny way.
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ThePostalWorker

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#14 ThePostalWorker
Member since 2006 • 839 Posts
Yea I love this, I found last night on game trailers. You beat me to posting it.
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psp-freak

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#15 psp-freak
Member since 2005 • 528 Posts
has anyone seen his "console rundown"? its hilarious and very true
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fred334

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#16 fred334
Member since 2007 • 79 Posts
Very funny review.... I watched twice. Couldn't stop laughing.
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firefly026

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#17 firefly026
Member since 2005 • 3270 Posts
hehe good stuff.
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Mohamed_h

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#18 Mohamed_h
Member since 2004 • 1536 Posts

Really witty !

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moocow21

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#19 moocow21
Member since 2004 • 1483 Posts
I loled at everytime you get a simple quest like walk across a room a door locks or the roof falls in and you have to journey to mount doom & back just to return the status quo because it's true. And at the removing parts of system shock 2 to dummy it down for "the console tards" (not saying this is true, just found it funny).
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henri1960

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#20 henri1960
Member since 2005 • 2755 Posts
lol
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Tsunami23

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#21 Tsunami23
Member since 2004 • 1352 Posts
Almost as good as IGNs review of Postal 2
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kyrieee

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#22 kyrieee
Member since 2007 • 978 Posts
Any spoilers in the review? Need to upgrade before I play :/
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Vfanek

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#23 Vfanek
Member since 2006 • 7719 Posts

Any spoilers in the review? Need to upgrade before I play :/kyrieee

No spoilers.. Well, not really.

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theG168

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#24 theG168
Member since 2005 • 3526 Posts
That is really funny, even though I love Bioshock....
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gabytiro

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#25 gabytiro
Member since 2006 • 141 Posts
that was so beatiful :))
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theshadowhunter

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#26 theshadowhunter
Member since 2004 • 2956 Posts
lol, that was awsome!
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Reesicup

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#27 Reesicup
Member since 2003 • 77 Posts

that. was. amazing.

i loled.

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tony2077ca

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#28 tony2077ca
Member since 2005 • 5242 Posts
i hatepc gamer the bash consoles and vice versa
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ElectricNZ

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#29 ElectricNZ
Member since 2007 • 2457 Posts
I love this game but god this made my day...
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CubePrime_basic

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#30 CubePrime_basic
Member since 2003 • 3230 Posts
fantastic!
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DarKre

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#31 DarKre
Member since 2003 • 9529 Posts
Now that its been a couple weeks since I beat that game, I find that review completly true.
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SentientGames

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#32 SentientGames
Member since 2004 • 633 Posts

Sheer, unadulterated, awesomeness.

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Herrick

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#33 Herrick
Member since 2004 • 4552 Posts
Damn, that was very well done & very true. He really nailed it on the Endings.
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cero10

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#34 cero10
Member since 2005 • 887 Posts
This is how ALL reviews should be done ESPECIALLY gamespot. I loved it, hilarious lol
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dnuggs40

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#35 dnuggs40
Member since 2003 • 10484 Posts

Very funny and well done. Make sure you watch his psychonaught review as well, quite a few chuckles in that one too.

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Herrick

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#36 Herrick
Member since 2004 • 4552 Posts

This is how ALL reviews should be done ESPECIALLY gamespot. I loved it, hilarious lolcero10

No way. There are enough complaints about Gamespot's reviews now. Can you imagine how much worse the complaints will be if Gamespot starts to make fun of high-scoring games?

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Lord_DoDo56

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#37 Lord_DoDo56
Member since 2005 • 960 Posts
I almost had the same views but he put it as it is. The game was way too easy, Vita chambers are used almost like infinite live codes yet the story was awesome. I wouldn't want a Bioshock 2, but another "spiritual successor" would be awesome
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six_shot

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#38 six_shot
Member since 2007 • 1388 Posts
lol funny crap right there :P
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iwokojance

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#39 iwokojance
Member since 2005 • 1040 Posts
That was a fantastic review. Very well done. And his comments got me thinking...is it just me, or are most new games coming out in recent years, relying too heavily on graphics to the detriment of substance? It seems that way to me.
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SentientGames

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#40 SentientGames
Member since 2004 • 633 Posts
What had me lauaghing the most, surprisingly, was the music at the end of the Psychonauts review.It made no sense what-so-ever, yet it was perfect.
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fly_trooper

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#41 fly_trooper
Member since 2007 • 40 Posts
LOL..that dude is a GENIUS...its really funny,and the cartoon..HAHAHAHA
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skrat_01

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#42 skrat_01
Member since 2007 • 33767 Posts

Haha exellent review!

Pretty true when it boils down to the PC v Console gamer thing.

And Hyper FTW (and PCPP FTW X 2).

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Old_Gooseberry

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#43 Old_Gooseberry
Member since 2002 • 3958 Posts
AHHAHhAHAHHA best review ever
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Teppe2k

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#44 Teppe2k
Member since 2007 • 143 Posts
amazing
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Jd1680a

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#45 Jd1680a
Member since 2005 • 5960 Posts

This was pretty funny and all ofit is right.

One critic I have with it, is how he talks about bioshock being equal to System Shock 2. If someone never played System Shock 2, how would he know the difference.

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Makari

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#46 Makari
Member since 2003 • 15250 Posts

This was pretty funny and all ofit is right.

One critic I have with it, is how he talks about bioshock being equal to System Shock 2. If someone never played System Shock 2, how would he know the difference.

Jd1680a
They're just stuck out in the cold, if so. :( It is true, though, IMO. I don't know how else to explain it than what he said.
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Herrick

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#47 Herrick
Member since 2004 • 4552 Posts

This was pretty funny and all ofit is right.

One critic I have with it, is how he talks about bioshock being equal to System Shock 2. If someone never played System Shock 2, how would he know the difference.

Jd1680a

Yeah, this was probably the weakest part of the review. He jokes about how similar BioShock is to System Shock 2, yet he even says that BioShock is supposed to be the "spiritual successor" to System Shock 2. So what's the problem? 'Course they're going to be very similar in some ways.

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Makari

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#48 Makari
Member since 2003 • 15250 Posts
[QUOTE="Jd1680a"]

This was pretty funny and all ofit is right.

One critic I have with it, is how he talks about bioshock being equal to System Shock 2. If someone never played System Shock 2, how would he know the difference.

Herrick

Yeah, this was probably the weakest part of the review. He jokes about how similar BioShock is to System Shock 2, yet he even says that BioShock is supposed to be the "spiritual successor" to System Shock 2. So what's the problem? 'Course they're going to be very similar in some ways.

I think the idea is that they're similar down to the point of being complete carbon copies in a lot of ways, down to the weapons and ammo, the audio logs, the enemies and how they interact with you.. even the greater antagonists. Or to a lesser extent, the plot. If you've been through SS2, some events in Bioshock won't really come as much a surprise to you. The hacking game was different, but I actually liked SS2's more. =X
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el_carl

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#49 el_carl
Member since 2006 • 2376 Posts
Wow, he talks fast. Nonetheless, this guy is great.
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THERSOfi

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#50 THERSOfi
Member since 2005 • 1214 Posts
Very nice find LOL