Hellgate:London - A humorous review

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/hellgate-london-subscription.php

I found it funny, if a bit true...unfortunately.

Most of that was pretty much why I didn't get hellgate.

Well, good thing I didn't get it when it came out....it saved the money and time that I can use on so much better games then this one.

Awesome :lol:. I want to see Zero Punctuation take on Hellgate.

Awesome :lol:. I want to see Zero Punctuation take on Hellgate.

FlaminDeath

Dude, I wan't zero to review EVERYTHING.

I have to say that review pretty much sums up Hellgate: London for me and why it sucks so much monkey-banana-leftovers.

"It's like you're playing a cgi movie made in Second Life!" - lmao!!!

That review is pretty funny coming from somethingawful. Especially the whole bit on the subscription

How much do they charge for the PRIVLIDGE of viewing their forum again? And pay more for premium features like using the search function! awsome!

Most of that was pretty much why I didn't get hellgate.

ElArab

Personally I am having a blast with Hellgate. As far as the SA review....Although I realize they were trying to be funny, I find it rather sad one of their biggest complaints is the $10/month fee. What they didn't even bother to mention was that it's not required at all. I've been following Hellgate for years and it's definitely met my expectations. I believe the only mistake Flagship made was building up WAY too much hype for it. SuperBeast

I like the game, but I'm waiting for some serious patches. Not just patches that fixes bugs. I want improvements.

The only thing that "review" got right was the bug issue. Everything else was way too stupid.

1. The game is plenty of fun without a subscription. My stash isnt full (so I dont need the space), and I dont feel I am missing out on everything else. I think the reviewer was one of the people stupid enough to actually subscribe to the game right off the bat, and by the sound of it hasnt given the game a chance (its only been amlittle over a week and he cancelled it?)

2. Monsters do run at you, then die, then loot pops up. Just like in Diablo. So yes, reviewer, I will compare the two games to eachother since they have numerous similiarities, stupid enemies being one such similiarity. But nobody complains about Diablo 2....

3. That "core gameplay" the reviewer speaks about is easily noticeable, and it takes about 3 minutes to discover how fun and immediately gratifying it is.

Log in, load your character, and start hacking, slashing, shooting, and summoning. No long, drawn-out quests here....just good old fashioned mindless fun. What, you wanted deep involving gameplay with a complex plot? Go play The Witcher then.

4. The skill descriptions are plenty thorough. I have read the descriptions, and everything turns out as expected.

5. The graphics look plenty good. You want pretty faces, go play Oblivion or something. Hellgate's graphics are well-optimised, smooth, and they look good where it counts.

Idunno, maybe I am taking this humorous review too seriously but you know, humour has to be smart as well. Any **** can easily criticize something.

I don't like Hellgate but I don't like ironic mockery as a form of humour. It's not intelligent, anyone can do it, it's just low. The kind of thing forum trolls do.

The only funny thing was "it's like comparing Apples to iMacs"

I don't like Hellgate but I don't like ironic mockery as a form of humour. It's not intelligent, anyone can do it, it's just low. The kind of thing forum trolls do.

The only funny thing was "it's like comparing Apples to iMacs"

kyrieee

None of you guys get it, you don't get the joke.

Something Awful would never actually write something like that and be serious about it.

The joke is that he's flaming it, but as a joke... You guys don't get it, and you're taking it seriously, none of you are enjoying the joke....

The only thing that "review" got right was the bug issue. Everything else was way too stupid.

1. The game is plenty of fun without a subscription. My stash isnt full (so I dont need the space), and I dont feel I am missing out on everything else. I think the reviewer was one of the people stupid enough to actually subscribe to the game right off the bat, and by the sound of it hasnt given the game a chance (its only been amlittle over a week and he cancelled it?)

2. Monsters do run at you, then die, then loot pops up. Just like in Diablo. So yes, reviewer, I will compare the two games to eachother since they have numerous similiarities, stupid enemies being one such similiarity. But nobody complains about Diablo 2....

3. That "core gameplay" the reviewer speaks about is easily noticeable, and it takes about 3 minutes to discover how fun and immediately gratifying it is.

Log in, load your character, and start hacking, slashing, shooting, and summoning. No long, drawn-out quests here....just good old fashioned mindless fun. What, you wanted deep involving gameplay with a complex plot? Go play The Witcher then.

4. The skill descriptions are plenty thorough. I have read the descriptions, and everything turns out as expected.

5. The graphics look plenty good. You want pretty faces, go play Oblivion or something. Hellgate's graphics are well-optimised, smooth, and they look good where it counts.

Idunno, maybe I am taking this humorous review too seriously but you know, humour has to be smart as well. Any **** can easily criticize something.

mrbojangles25

I agree on most of your points, HGL is a load of fun for an older gamer like me, who enjoyed mindless killing games like SmashTV, Serious Sam andof course Diabloback in the day. This game is right up my alley. Sadly, they DO have a lot of bugs to iron out, but considering I'm not paying a monthly fee, I'm less annoyed by them.

It is pretty funny, especially the part regarding the billing problem :P

Though like MrB and TheCrazed said, it's still has some good points. But damn did they screw the pooch on release...

I call BS... I paid for the semiannual fee of 51 bucks (USD).. and have not been charged one single penny extra..

Bugs? If you call getting stuck a "bug" then yes.. with the random lvl design.. you CAN get stuck... but you type in (/stuck) and you get unstuck.. not really a biggie..

Runs great on my system as well.. P4 3.6 8800 GTS 640mb 2GB RAM.. XP Pro SP2...

I did have to scale back the weather effects and lighting.. but everything else is on max....

BTW I have a lvl 24 Blademaster (MP) and a lvl 14 Blademaster (SP)

Max lvl is 50.. much like Diablo 1

I call BS... I paid for the semiannual fee of 51 bucks (USD).. and have not been charged one single penny extra..

Bugs? If you call getting stuck a "bug" then yes.. with the random lvl design.. you CAN get stuck... but you type in (/stuck) and you get unstuck.. not really a biggie..Alkpaz

Well just because you're not getting this problem doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It's a big enough problem that the devs have stickied a thread concerning billing issues on their website. I actually havethe completelyopposite problem. I've tried to pay for Founder's twice and both times it gave me a confirmation e-mail, but my account status updates to lifetime for a day then switches back to billedmonthlyand my credit card has not been billed. I'm going to wait until the end of the month to see if I get doublebilled or if my request is ignored, since they extended the offer to end of year.

As for getting stuck, it's a serious issue if you're playing hardcore. It takes about 8 seconds to "cast" the unstuck "spell" and in that time, you're likely toast, particularly if you're playing elite hardcore. A bug should never result in the death of a character whether it be hardcore or not, the former being a major no-no.

I've also encountered in one case where the map is inaccessible (i.e. all dead ends and no passageway to the other area). It was ok, pretty much just exit the game and start a new one. Another small issue is the dropping of pre-identified statless unique items. I've found a couple of those. The fawke's quests are broken, in that if you click "Choose 2 items" instead of manually dragging each one to your inventory, the items don't show up and you can never get them again for that character. An absolute heartbreaker if you were lucky/spent enough time to get everything for the FF5 item and due to a clear bug, you can't craft the final item since the blueprint didn't transfer over.

My biggest issue, however,is the memory leak problems when running high resolutions and high quality textures - it's enough to eat up all my RAM in about 2 or 3 hours forcing either a hard reboot or killing of the hellgate process and starting the game again.

At any rate if they provide regular updates, this game should turn out pretty good. The hype was what really killed this game. If you are looking for a diablo-like game with fast action, lot's of killing, lot's of loot, it is exactly what you get. I think it is probably one of the best attempts since D2. Wasn't much of a fan of Titan Quest.

I call BS... I paid for the semiannual fee of 51 bucks (USD).. and have not been charged one single penny extra..

Bugs? If you call getting stuck a "bug" then yes.. with the random lvl design.. you CAN get stuck... but you type in (/stuck) and you get unstuck.. not really a biggie..

Runs great on my system as well.. P4 3.6 8800 GTS 640mb 2GB RAM.. XP Pro SP2...

I did have to scale back the weather effects and lighting.. but everything else is on max....

BTW I have a lvl 24 Blademaster (MP) and a lvl 14 Blademaster (SP)

Max lvl is 50.. much like Diablo 1

Alkpaz

[QUOTE="Alkpaz"]

I call BS... I paid for the semiannual fee of 51 bucks (USD).. and have not been charged one single penny extra..

Bugs? If you call getting stuck a "bug" then yes.. with the random lvl design.. you CAN get stuck... but you type in (/stuck) and you get unstuck.. not really a biggie..cubiclegeek

Well just because you're not getting this problem doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It's a big enough problem that the devs have stickied a thread concerning billing issues on their website. I actually havethe completelyopposite problem. I've tried to pay for Founder's twice and both times it gave me a confirmation e-mail, but my account status updates to lifetime for a day then switches back to billedmonthlyand my credit card has not been billed. I'm going to wait until the end of the month to see if I get doublebilled or if my request is ignored, since they extended the offer to end of year.

As for getting stuck, it's a serious issue if you're playing hardcore. It takes about 8 seconds to "cast" the unstuck "spell" and in that time, you're likely toast, particularly if you're playing elite hardcore. A bug should never result in the death of a character whether it be hardcore or not, the former being a major no-no.

I've also encountered in one case where the map is inaccessible (i.e. all dead ends and no passageway to the other area). It was ok, pretty much just exit the game and start a new one. Another small issue is the dropping of pre-identified statless unique items. I've found a couple of those. The fawke's quests are broken, in that if you click "Choose 2 items" instead of manually dragging each one to your inventory, the items don't show up and you can never get them again for that character. An absolute heartbreaker if you were lucky/spent enough time to get everything for the FF5 item and due to a clear bug, you can't craft the final item since the blueprint didn't transfer over.

My biggest issue, however,is the memory leak problems when running high resolutions and high quality textures - it's enough to eat up all my RAM in about 2 or 3 hours forcing either a hard reboot or killing of the hellgate process and starting the game again.

At any rate if they provide regular updates, this game should turn out pretty good. The hype was what really killed this game. If you are looking for a diablo-like game with fast action, lot's of killing, lot's of loot, it is exactly what you get. I think it is probably one of the best attempts since D2. Wasn't much of a fan of Titan Quest.

I have encountered problems like that .. yes.. I REALLY do understand about how /stuck can be pretty problematic for people on Hardcore.. although every time I have gotten stuck no enemy has attacked me.. (luckly) about the Fawke's quest.. I just drag everything into my inventory.. (I'm anal that way) .. so I have not had that bug.. (Glad I stuck to my anal retentive ways.. lol)

Memory leak.. after about 7-8 hours I did recieve a "out of memory" error.. A VERY FIRST for me.. I have never had that message.. even while playing another "buggy" game called Gothic 3. Another bug I noticed was while trading I couldn't see the other person who I was trading with.. I had to place them on my friend's list and invite them to party.. then switch to a level and open a party portal for it to kick back in and let me see the person ... weird error.. but I got it to FINALLY work.. :) This could be related to the Party member disappearing bugg.. who knows.

I have also had an inaccessable map.. but I just logg off and back on again.. it reseeds the level (so this is a PLUS if your wearing +Luck gear.. and searching high and low for legendaries.. also good to build up Pal and scraps/tech/etc.. )

I hear ya on Titan's Quest.. I didn't much enjoy it either... I loved LOVED Sacred.. so be sure to check that one out.. :) (It was buggy as hell when first released.. but now its pretty much worked out) Also the lvl cap is 215.. if I'm not mistaken.. with 5 modes of difficulty.. going from Bronze, Silver, Gold, Plat, and Niobium.. I kinda got tired of it at about clvl 150 or so... GREAT game though.. just thinking about maxing all characters out would take me an eternity.. lol