RTS games are addictive for a few reasons. I guess the first is the intellectual challenge. A lot of people like to be mentally stimulated and challenged while gaming - and war games are a perfect outlet for that kind of thing. It takes thought and planning to effectively win a battle against a cunninng opponent.
Another reason would be that war is lots of fun! Unleashing the kind of destruction you can in an RTS - destroying whole armies, perhaps even cities, is just a great vent. Tearing your enemies apart brutally... I don't know, there's just something gratifying about it. I guess it's kinda like the feeling you get when you pop someone in the head in a FPS, only it's on a much huger scale. It just really satisfies my bloodlust.
Recommending a good RTS to a complete RTS newbie is awkward, because most of the good RTS games feature advanced gameplay mechanics that would be overhwelming for a newcomer. As someone above says, don't start with Company of Heroes. Brilliant game, but starting out with an RTS with zonal damage, strong focus on unit counters, a cover mechanic, lots of micromanagement, an advanced resource system and more besides - it can just be too much.
But then again, if you go for simpler RTS games, you're usually going older. Which means less polished, fewer features and refinements - worse visuals.
I would recommend one of two games. The first is Command and Conquer 3. Just to clarify, I personally dislike this game, but it's a very simple tank spammer - all you do is chain-build a small group of units and send them in. It has few advanced or confusing RTS elements - C&C is also one of the founding fathers of the genre so you can learn a lot about RTS structure through C&C. It's also a fun game. Simple fun.
My personal favourite RTS is Dawn of War. It's a little more advanced than C&C3 because it has a lot of unit-counters, a lot of armies, a squad and reinforcement mechanic. It's got a lot more going on, but it has some awesome and brutal melee combat. It's set in the awesomest roleplaying world ever, Warhammer 40K, and it has reasonably good visuals. I'd recommend giving the demos of both games a shot. If you are a quick learner, you could try Company of Heroes - which also has a demo - but I think it'd be too intimidating for someone who doesn't know much about RTS games.
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