Metal Gear Solid Got a Little Too Realistic!

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samourai_v87

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#1 samourai_v87
Member since 2007 • 209 Posts
Metal Gear Solid Got a Little Too RealisticIf you think too hard about pretty much any video game, it's almost inevitable that you'll find a bunch of problems with plot and realism. Questions like "Could a dork like Gordon Freeman really kill an entire platoon of hardened commandos with a crowbar?" or "How the hell does drinking from a Canteen cure bullet wounds in Medal of Honor?" or "How could any Final Fantasy protagonist leave his house dressed in a costume that fruity without getting his ass kicked?" will arise. No video game in history has successfully proven to be 100% realistic and have all of its logistic problems answered.

In 1998, one of the most important and groundbreaking games ever made, Metal Gear Solid, came on the scene with unprecedented complexity in storytelling and revolutionary stealth gameplay mechanics. I'm sure you know that, but what you don't know is that in the early stages of development director Hideo Kojima attempted to craft a fully realistic story in which all logistic questions are answered and no suspension of disbelief is required to understand the story. Armed with only a silenced pistol and a cardboard box I snuck into the Konami offices and found an early draft of the script of a Codec conversation between Snake and his support team. Most of this dialog was ultimately left out of the final game, but I hope you'll find Kojima's attempt to fully commit to explaining every facet of his plot as admirable as I did.

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Metal Gear Solid Got a Little Too Realistic

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GreenGoblin2099

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#2 GreenGoblin2099
Member since 2004 • 16988 Posts
Not cool/10
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americahellyeah

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#3 americahellyeah
Member since 2006 • 16548 Posts
Not cool/10GreenGoblin2099
on a scale of "mud in a cup" to "nachos with cheese," i would rate OPs post as "slightly moistened sand on a napkin" :P
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Denji

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#4 Denji
Member since 2003 • 12757 Posts
Wow...that wasn't funny at all. Infact, it sucked. It could've been written better instead of resorting to 12 year old toilet humor.
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GreenGoblin2099

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#5 GreenGoblin2099
Member since 2004 • 16988 Posts

[QUOTE="GreenGoblin2099"]Not cool/10americahellyeah
on a scale of "mud in a cup" to "nachos with cheese," i would rate OPs post as "slightly moistened sand on a napkin" :P

Ah but you see... that ranking of mine is meant for thing worth the trouble ranking. This fails to achieve that so it gets not cool/10

A boring rank for a boring post.

And indeed Denji.

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marcl18123

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#6 marcl18123
Member since 2006 • 2050 Posts
it got just a bit overboard towards the middle, but it was funny. i always seem to enjoy mgs parodies, and metal gear awesome is still the best one
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hazelnutman

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#7 hazelnutman
Member since 2007 • 9688 Posts
Wow, now I'm going to go play some MGS1 to wash that God-aweful page out of my head :|
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king23_

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#8 king23_
Member since 2007 • 18169 Posts
That was one of the stupidest things I've ever read.
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K1LLR3175

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#9 K1LLR3175
Member since 2006 • 12734 Posts
That may have been one of the dumbest things I have read in a long,long,Looooong time.This is that Diarrhea with no toilet paper I was talking about.That was just as bad as GTA4.
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ronniepage588

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#11 ronniepage588
Member since 2003 • 4188 Posts
what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent [post] were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this [thread] is now dumber for having [read] it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
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Omega3FattyAcid

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#12 Omega3FattyAcid
Member since 2008 • 54 Posts
i love applebees ultimate trios/10
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D_Kefka

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#13 D_Kefka
Member since 2008 • 223 Posts
what i just read doesnt deserve to wipe my ars
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LuongoRox1

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#14 LuongoRox1
Member since 2006 • 367 Posts
Glad that didn't make it into the game, it'd be going way to far, but it was still hilarious. :) :lol:
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K1LLR3175

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#16 K1LLR3175
Member since 2006 • 12734 Posts
Glad that didn't make it into the game, it'd be going way to far, but it was still hilarious. :) :lol: LuongoRox1
Really?Diarrhea with no toilet paper.Goblin I highly suggest you add that to your rating scale.It sums up things like that article,the Arthur and GTA4.
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Gohansephiroth

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#17 Gohansephiroth
Member since 2005 • 9871 Posts
ugh i think i just caught fox die from this topic
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SoutheastSam

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#18 SoutheastSam
Member since 2009 • 210 Posts

Wait, you clicked on that link?

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marcl18123

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#19 marcl18123
Member since 2006 • 2050 Posts

Wait, you clicked on that link?

SoutheastSam
do it, its really funny
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Nephilim83

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#20 Nephilim83
Member since 2008 • 4378 Posts

Wait, you clicked on that link?

SoutheastSam
I didn't. Judging from the responses so far I'd be saving myself the misery of another poor attempt at humor. Diarrhea without toilet paper? I think i'll pass....
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marcl18123

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#21 marcl18123
Member since 2006 • 2050 Posts
[QUOTE="SoutheastSam"]

Wait, you clicked on that link?

Nephilim83
I didn't. Judging from the responses so far I'd be saving myself the misery of another poor attempt at humor. Diarrhea without toilet paper? I think i'll pass....

its funny, tho is a sick twisted sort of way, but still funny if your a mgs fan
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M0wen10

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#22 M0wen10
Member since 2009 • 7555 Posts

Wow...that wasn't funny at all. Infact, it sucked. It could've been written better instead of resorting to 12 year old toilet humor.Denji

haha :lol: 8)

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GodofBigMacs

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#23 GodofBigMacs
Member since 2008 • 6440 Posts
Ouch, my eyes.
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mistergamer2006

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#24 mistergamer2006
Member since 2006 • 988 Posts

wow, tht was so lame... wow

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mep69

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#25 mep69
Member since 2008 • 1926 Posts
BTW a Dork is a Dolphin's penis so is this the whole twist behind the Half-Life series ?!?!?!?!?!
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SeanyBoy21

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#26 SeanyBoy21
Member since 2009 • 545 Posts

I hate whem people use different font than the norm. It messes up my flow of reading.

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Jono789

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#27 Jono789
Member since 2009 • 2118 Posts

I found it funny......... *puts on stab proof vest*

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rjxtian

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#28 rjxtian
Member since 2005 • 2638 Posts
barnyard humor
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z4twenny

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#29 z4twenny
Member since 2006 • 4898 Posts

i thought that was hilarious personally. my coworkers were looking at me funny

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amcallisterni

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#30 amcallisterni
Member since 2007 • 366 Posts
Wow...that wasn't funny at all. Infact, it sucked. It could've been written better instead of resorting to 12 year old toilet humor.Denji
You are no person to talk about immaturity. I quote your sig:
I do not like bombs that go blam! I don't like them Saddam I am!Denjis sig
Seriously?
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kingdre

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#31 kingdre
Member since 2005 • 9456 Posts

Well... that was lame. :|

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Denji

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#32 Denji
Member since 2003 • 12757 Posts

[QUOTE="Denji"]Wow...that wasn't funny at all. Infact, it sucked. It could've been written better instead of resorting to 12 year old toilet humor.amcallisterni
You are no person to talk about immaturity. I quote your sig:
I do not like bombs that go blam! I don't like them Saddam I am!Denjis sig
Seriously?

:lol: Wow, just wow

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Furi-Kun

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#33 Furi-Kun
Member since 2007 • 10903 Posts

Ohh, so this is what people do when they are bored on a Friday.:lol: