Five Reasons Why the PS4 Will Fail
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Everyone likes the nice graphics. And everyone likes games too. If we were to be honest, people, we would all certainly say something like play on a PC, or a play on an Xbox, but none of us would ever say play on a Playstation console, they're really awesome because that's f*cking ridiculous. No one actually likes Sony, they just like the idea of them.
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Now that we all agree on that, here's a number of reasons why SONY Corporation's Playstation 4 will break up on impact and leave little more than a minor skidmark on the underwear of gaming, fast food, vaginas, etc, etc.
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NUMBER ONE - NO ONE CARES ABOUT IT
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When the Wii was announced there was a celebration and certain Professsional Gaming Journalists (hahaha) got all wet and perhaps even experienced the closest simulations of orgasm to date, and maybe even did not eat at Red Lobster that night or eat Tacos Locos Doritos. There were celebrations in the street. Hats were thrown. GameInformer, however incorrectly, predicted that the Wii would DEFINITELY BE WORTH BUYING. Somewhere, somehow, Regis Philbin got his d*ck in something.
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When the Playstation 4 was announced somewhere in Buffalo an elk sh*t itself.
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NUMBER TWO - JONATHAN BLOW SEEMINGLY SUPPORTS IT(when you make more than one game ((a pretty good game, to be fair)) having criticised BioShock, make that three more than decent games over a period of time, and you aren't a pretencely cum soaked douche bag then please, by all means, be the voice of indie gaming and consoles, etc. In the meantime speaking is not the best thing you do with your mouth so get on with it.
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NUMBER THREE - DAVID CAGE
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NUMBER FOUR- KILLZONE SUCKS ASS LET'S BE HONEST IT ISN'T REALLY EVEN GOOD ENOUGH TO DISLPLAY ON YOUR SHELF AND WHEN FRIENDS ASK ABOUT IT YOU GENERALLY SHRUG AND/OR DISAVOW EVER HAVING PLAYED IT, AND, COME ON, IT'S LIKE SEX WITH THE PERSON YOU ARE SECRETLY AFRAID TO ADMIT HAVING F*CKED TO YOUR FRIENDS, LETS BE SERIOUS
NUMBER FIVE, AND FINALLY- If I wanted Jack Tretton to p*ss in my mouth I would have asked him kindly to do so at a hotel in Baltimore. Buying a console is not the right way to express just that kind of affection.Â
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Through your hard work and dedication, you have given us a system of the ages and console of the generation. A value that only you could imagine has unfolded before our very eyes and blossomed into something very beautiful.So, you see, we took small steps to success all along that hike. Together, they added up to hundreds of thousands of small steps. But we might have chosen not to take the first step. We might have stopped at any point along the way. That would have meant that we would not have gotten to our destination. There were also obstacles along the way. But with each small step they were overcome. There were frustrations, fears and uncertainties. But with each small step they were crushed. There was hardship and danger, but with each small step and focus on the desired destination it was conquered.So you see, success is no mystery. Because, as the Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu said: A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. It takes only one small step to succeed and you have done it Ken. Bravo. 
It goes without saying that a thanks is in order for Kazuo Hirai 
You have taken Ken's vision and molded into something beutfitul. All the world's your stage. And all the men and women merely players: A non-doer is very often a critic-that is, someone who sits back and watches doers, and then waxes philosophically about how the doers are doing. It's easy to be a critic, but not you Kaz, no being a doer requires effort, risk, and change and you have done a nobel job. Bravo! 
And last but certainly not least I'd like to thank 
Jack Tretton, your loyalty, perseverance and dedication has helped Sony reach it's goals and making Sony the #1 console of choice.That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.You have dared to go where others have been scared to go Jack, Thank you and God bless Sony USA. 
Thank you Sony 
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