How to make an EPIC THREAD v2 (with Scientific Facts) REVOLUTIONIZES System Wars

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THE_MATRlX

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#1 THE_MATRlX
Member since 2010 • 517 Posts

1. Attack something that's popular in SW

E.G: "Uncharted 2 sucks, the story was copy pasta'd..."

E.G: "Half-Life 2 was one of the worst FPS games ever, it was so linear and the A.I sucked..."

E.G: "Super Mario Galaxy is an over-rated turd. Halo was better..."


2. Make ridiculous claims.

E.G: "Gaming PC's cost $1000's of dollars and the PS3 can do it better anyways..."

E.G: "PSN is free only because it sucks..."

E.G: "Bungie isn't making a sequel to Halo 3 because exclusivity on the Xbox 360 made them broke..."


3. Post ridiculous and biased comparisons.

E.G: *Show a comparison of cherry-picked Halo: Reach screenshots and S.T.A.L.K.E.R running on a Low End PC*

E.G: *Compare the graphics of a four year old PS3 game and a brand new PC game*


4. Claim that a hated game/company/developer is actually good.

E.G: "Activision is actually doing good for the gaming industry and FF13 was a masterpeice..."

E.G: "Modern Warfare 2 was the best thing that ever happened to FPS games!"

E.G: "Bobby Kotick is a prophet of gaming! I love him!"


5. Have a sensationalized thread title with a few words in ALL CAPS .

E.G: "Halo: Reach BETTER graphics than KILLZONE 2...scientific EVIDENCE!"

E.G: "GT5 makes Forza 3 look like LAST GEN TURD!"


6. Say completely false statements that purposefuly incite anger (without sounding like a troll).

E.G: "PSN sucks OMG...you cant even use mics and its so laggy and you have to wait like an hour to get into a game..."

E.G: "FACT, every single game released on the 360 is a generic FPS. What a lame console..."

E.G: "GT5 only has like 30 cars wow this game sucks and Forza 3 has more features and foilage..."


7. Accuse fanboys/Microsoft/Nintendo/Sony/etc of being desperate and running out of ideas.

E.G: "Sony is broke! That's why they copied Nintendo with PS Move..."

E.G: "Kinect is just a glorified Eye Toy, M$ running out of ideas!"

E.G: "360 only has FPS games, M$ cant make anything original..."


8. Over-exaggerate EVERYTHING.

E.G: "WOW! Sony is light-years behind Microsoft in sales! 3 million units behind! They'll never catch up!..."

E.G: "Gears of War 2 scored %2 more than KZ2 on Metacritic, its on a completely different level!..."

E.G: "HAHA! The 360 version of Mafia 2 runs at one frame higher and has a pop-in distance two inches longer, SUPERIOR VERSION BY FAR!!"

E.G: "Forza 3 has 2 more cars than GT5! WOW LMFAO COWS HAVE FUN DRIVING THE SAME CAR OVER AND OVER AGAIN!"


9. Discretely attack another platform for absolutely no reason.

E.G: "Yeah man totally agree, JRPGs are better than WRPGs. The PS3 has far more WRPGs than the 360, it must be better a better console..."

E.G: "Oh my god! I've waited for Beyond Good and Evil 2 for ages! Its obviously going to be better on the PC..."

E.G: "Wow that demo of that new ID engine was epic! But it would obviously run best on the Wii..."


10. Have a controversial and completely idiotic subject.
E.G: "Single-player only games should die..."

E.G: "World of Warcraft promotes promiscuity in teenagers..."

E.G: "Videogames should be free and devs should pay us to play their games..."

E.G: "All FPS games need perks!..."

E.G: "JRPGs would be much better if they were in first person..."

E.G: "Counter-Strike sucks because it didn't have killstreaks..."


11. Accuse everyone of being a fanboy

E.G: "Wow! I gotta admit, Napoleon: Total War looks great and it also-" -- "WOW! BIASED HERMIT ALRERTZ!"

E.G: "Yeah, Uncharted 2 has pretty good graphics..." -- "WOW! What a 360 fanboy! He was probably paid by M$ to say that!"

E.G: "Hey who saw the new BioShock Infinate trailer?" -- "Wow Cow!" -- "Wait, what? I don't even..."

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tagyhag

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#2 tagyhag
Member since 2007 • 15874 Posts
This will be either a good thing or a horrible thing.
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Floppy_Jim

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#3 Floppy_Jim
Member since 2007 • 25933 Posts

E.G: "Gears of War 2 scored %2 more than KZ2 on Metacritic, its on a completely different level!..."

THE_MATRlX

Reminds me of heretrix's sig :lol:

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Shirokishi_

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#4 Shirokishi_
Member since 2009 • 11206 Posts

Dont forget flat out stupidity.

The Treadmill going nowhere clause.

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campzor

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#5 campzor
Member since 2004 • 34932 Posts
its like you read my mind.. what category would "Single player should die" go under? lol
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timmy00

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#6 timmy00
Member since 2006 • 15360 Posts

Brilliant! Very true TC!

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THE_MATRlX

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#9 THE_MATRlX
Member since 2010 • 517 Posts

This should be stickied :P

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Keiji993

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#10 Keiji993
Member since 2009 • 1059 Posts
Lol this thread is genius, especially number 8. *360 version has 2 more trees in the background* "LOL THAT'S WHY I BUY MY MULTIPLATS ON 360, IT'S BY FAR SUPERIOR GRAPHICS AND NO LAG"
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mitu123

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#11 mitu123
Member since 2006 • 155290 Posts

This will be either a good thing or a horrible thing.tagyhag
It's both actually.

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designer-

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#12 designer-
Member since 2010 • 1328 Posts
Sadly TC, since your thread titles feature no flame worthy material this thread will invariable die within a few pages at best
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batman_is_aweso

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#13 batman_is_aweso
Member since 2009 • 2762 Posts

You forgot to put low post count and low level.:P

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finalstar2007

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#14 finalstar2007
Member since 2008 • 27952 Posts

I dont need a guide.. my threads always successful 8)

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THE_MATRlX

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#15 THE_MATRlX
Member since 2010 • 517 Posts

Sadly TC, since your thread titles feature no flame worthy material this thread will invariable die within a few pages at bestdesigner-
Yes...very unfortunate. Think I should diss Halo Reach in the thead title? :lol:

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designer-

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#16 designer-
Member since 2010 • 1328 Posts

[QUOTE="designer-"]Sadly TC, since your thread titles feature no flame worthy material this thread will invariable die within a few pages at bestTHE_MATRlX

Yes...very unfortunate. Think I should diss Halo Reach in the thead title? :lol:

Something about how Halos textures make Killzone 3's look last gen with "..PROOF INSIDE" should make this a thread stick around for a solid few days. Also dont provide proof inside...
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deactivated-5d6e91f5c147a

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#17 deactivated-5d6e91f5c147a
Member since 2008 • 26108 Posts
Wow, it's that simple!
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BrunoBRS

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#18 BrunoBRS
Member since 2005 • 74156 Posts
"FF13 was a masterpeice" O I C WAT U DID THAR. nice list, gave me a few laughs. on a side note, i do prefer the perks system rather than, say, the system used in bad company 2. i'm always up for customization, and i think the perks system (and the whole CoD unlocking system) is the one with the least restrictions and the more options. that said, i prefer BC2 to CoD :P
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THE_MATRlX

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#19 THE_MATRlX
Member since 2010 • 517 Posts

[QUOTE="THE_MATRlX"]

[QUOTE="designer-"]Sadly TC, since your thread titles feature no flame worthy material this thread will invariable die within a few pages at bestdesigner-

Yes...very unfortunate. Think I should diss Halo Reach in the thead title? :lol:

Something about how Halos textures make Killzone 3's look last gen with "..PROOF INSIDE" should make this a thread stick around for a solid few days. Also dont provide proof inside...

Yeah haha! Its such a shame how those are the most popular kinds of threads.

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james007_14

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#20 james007_14
Member since 2007 • 3036 Posts
Whoa awesome list and it is so true. Everyone should read this but 99.9 percent of the people here will ignore it.
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JohnF111

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#23 JohnF111
Member since 2010 • 14190 Posts

Dont forget flat out stupidity.

The Treadmill going nowhere clause.

Shirokishi_
hahaha!!!! That guy is still facepalming to this day, he cannot come here or it'll stir up the past like a volcano.
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THE_MATRlX

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#24 THE_MATRlX
Member since 2010 • 517 Posts

Who remembers Aku101?

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Sp4rtan_3

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#25 Sp4rtan_3
Member since 2010 • 3495 Posts
You forgot this: Say "Im not biased because I own X consoles" :roll: that always gets a kick outta me.
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ujjval16

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#26 ujjval16
Member since 2008 • 1669 Posts

Who remembers Aku101?

THE_MATRlX
I do, as well as PS John. We need more fanboys like those 2
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siddhu33

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#27 siddhu33
Member since 2008 • 3264 Posts

[QUOTE="THE_MATRlX"]

Who remembers Aku101?

ujjval16

I do, as well as PS John. We need more fanboys like those 2

PS_John was lulz...

Remember the Achievements vs Trophies thread where he got owned?

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LegatoSkyheart

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#29 LegatoSkyheart
Member since 2009 • 29733 Posts

and this is how NOT to be famous and have a thread THAT'S NOT GOING TO GET 200+ replies.

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Miroku32

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#30 Miroku32
Member since 2006 • 8666 Posts
Halo is the biggest piece of crap ever or PC Gaming is dying; facts inside, or Why x console (ps3 or 360) beats x console (the contrary to the first one); FACTS; are threads that will make you quite popular in SWs.
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THE_MATRlX

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#31 THE_MATRlX
Member since 2010 • 517 Posts

Halo is the biggest piece of crap ever or PC Gaming is dying; facts inside, or Why x console (ps3 or 360) beats x console (the contrary to the first one); FACTS; are threads that will make you quite popular in SWs. Miroku32
Especially those "PC is dying" threads. The hermits just come out of nowhere....!!!

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Miroku32

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#32 Miroku32
Member since 2006 • 8666 Posts
Also one thing that makes me laugh is that people don't read the content. They just read the title and they are ready to jump to defend their console or game.
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BPoole96

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#33 BPoole96
Member since 2008 • 22818 Posts

This thread pretty much sums up everything in SW. Well done, TC. You're spot on

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sam_nintendo

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#34 sam_nintendo
Member since 2005 • 2066 Posts
The thread title reminded me of a thread called "How to make epic thread" or something like that. I'll have to search it. BTW, all good ways to make massive threads.
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blackace

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#35 blackace
Member since 2002 • 23576 Posts
This will be either a good thing or a horrible thing.tagyhag
LOL!! What's funny is some of the things he said was absolutely true.
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abuabed

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#36 abuabed
Member since 2005 • 6606 Posts

Awesome job TC! Awesome job.

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navyguy21

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#37 navyguy21
Member since 2003 • 17931 Posts
This thread will die because you didnt take your own advice :P
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THE_MATRlX

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#38 THE_MATRlX
Member since 2010 • 517 Posts

This thread will die because you didnt take your own advice :Pnavyguy21
Yeah probably :P

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PiGsCaNFIy

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#40 PiGsCaNFIy
Member since 2010 • 92 Posts

oh lord single player only games should die thread was the best.

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painguy1

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#41 painguy1
Member since 2007 • 8686 Posts

This thread = awesome = life

therefore this thread mid life

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BrunoBRS

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#42 BrunoBRS
Member since 2005 • 74156 Posts
lol nice update. you should add "SCIENTIFICALLY FACTS INSIDE" (makes no sense? who cares, what matters is that it has the word "scientifically") to make it survive longer :P
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omho88

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#43 omho88
Member since 2007 • 3967 Posts

Or make a thread about how to make an Epic thread :P .

this thread has my approval, a good and worthy thread, few among this chaos.

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omho88

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#46 omho88
Member since 2007 • 3967 Posts

I will add this thred to my fav. and i will try to bump it from time to time, i suggest those who liked it to do the same, we shall force the mods to make it a sticky, the world should know the reality of SW ;) .

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BrunoBRS

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#47 BrunoBRS
Member since 2005 • 74156 Posts
nooooo, you did it wrong. you're not supposed to write it correctly, you should have written "scientifically" :P and it seems some people are already following your advice.
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THE_MATRlX

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#48 THE_MATRlX
Member since 2010 • 517 Posts

nooooo, you did it wrong. you're not supposed to write it correctly, you should have written "scientifically" :P and it seems some people are already following your advice.BrunoBRS
Every thread that has +200 responses had a TC that followed my advice :D

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LegatoSkyheart

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#49 LegatoSkyheart
Member since 2009 • 29733 Posts

eh, guess I was wrong, oh btw you forgot about Hype Threads. Most of those ALWAYS get 200+ replies.

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bbkkristian

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#50 bbkkristian
Member since 2008 • 14971 Posts
Are those examples real threads? :|