Just a Quick Thought

One hundred starving peasants once lingered at the gates of a castle.

"Please ser," they said, or something similarly pathetic in its Tiny Tim similitude. "Please lease give us some food."

The castle was silent.

"No really," they said, "we're starving. Bring us some food, we really want it. We even have money for it. We've been working in your fields after all."

The castle was silent. They retreated somewhat. "How about some water?"

Nothing. No response. The peasants become agitated. Cursed the monarch. Began to leave in droves to find another castle. Just then a booming voice came from over the castle walls.

"WAIT! COME BACK!"

Some returned. Some others left anyway.

"Yeh," they said, in that sort of false cockney accent utilised by imported actors playing beggars or plucky children. "Wut is it?"

"WE HAVE FOOD FOR YOU! LOTS OF FOOD!"

"Well where is it?"

"WE CAN'T SHOW IT TO YOU RIGHT NOW! IT'S SECRET FOOD!"

"Secret food? Secret food?"

"YES THAT'S RIGHT, SECRET FOOD! AND MORE!"

"Like wut?"

"LIKE WHORES! LOTS OF WHORES! AND THEIR CORRESPONDING VAGINAS!"

"Really? Whores?"

"YES YES, SO MANY WHORES! SAY WHORE AS MANY TIMES AS POSSIBLE! AND WE HAVE FREE MONEY! AND BARRELS AND BARRELS OF WINE!"

The peasants started patting each other on the back, cheering.

"That's f*cking awesome, let us in right now, let us see it!"

"UH NO, NO, NOT RIGHT NOW. LATER."

"What do you mean later? Where's the food? Where are the girls?"

A plucky beggar midget riding a mentally deficient but rather emotionally deep giant cries out "Yeh bruv, I haven't beenlaid in ages!"

"OH WE HAVE THEM, WE JUST CAN'T SHOW YOU RIGHT NOW. BUT YES WE CERTAINLY HAVE THEM. WE REALLY REALLY DO."

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REDMOND, Wash.  Microsoft Corp. gave the world a first look at its new Xbox One on Tuesday, announcing that its first gaming console in eight years will come with exclusive video and software content, including a "Halo" series produced by Steven Spielberg.

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A GUIDE TO THE ALLEGORY FOR THOSE WHO WISH TO READ IT:

Okay, so the above allegory is very complicated and has many subtext, so here are the key points:

The Peasants represent fans of Sony. They are waiting outside the gates of the PC in order for there be faster stuff and more lights. The fact that they're poor represents Soviet aggression.

The Castle represents The PS Vita. It is extremely defensible and I believe can be used to order food and escort's services.

The Midget represents Microsoft. Small, but extremely dangerous if given the right tools. Clearly the Xbox One is that tool, and perhaps best compared to a dagger: effective, but disappointing in its length, ever get that?

The Giant represents President Barack Obama. By lifting Microsoft, dagger in its hand (it? He? It's a midget?) on his shoulders The President has effectively ensured that Forza 5 (represented in this case by the clothes the peasants are already wearing, which is a subtext of a subtext) will be a massive hit.

The Food, The Whores, and The Wine represent cocaine.

yeh

man, get a hobby bro. mems_1224

Or a girlfriend. Then he maybe gets some attention.

Too short / Read it all

[QUOTE="mems_1224"]man, get a hobby bro. MrSpieleMaster

Or a girlfriend. Then he maybe gets some attention.

man, get a hobby bro. mems_1224

man, get a hobby bro. jethrovegas

Thanks for stopping by...

I enjoyed it for what it was.

Those liars man, why do we fall for those lies? :cry:

[QUOTE="mems_1224"]man, get a hobby bro. [/QUOTE

maen chana sagaa go now ok boss.]

I'm really disappointed. You switched drug dealers didn't you? This isn't even on the level of the whole OT end of the world thread, or the RE 5 poem, or the Fable stuff, or the ducks aren't something and skyrim isn't a RPG. Go back to your old dealer. He had crazier shit. jg4xchamp

Yeah, but see, it's an allegory, man. It's not just some crazy story and then a random headline.

Really? No one gets it?

TC: Your pretty smart.

Really? No one gets it?

TC: Your pretty smart.

kipsta77

I've always thought so. Anyway, I updated the OP to include a guide to the allegory so that everybody can understand this argument as I think it's very crucial to this generation of gaming and almost certainly the most insightful commentary on the issue to date.

.

[QUOTE="kipsta77"]

Really? No one gets it?

TC: Your pretty smart.

jethrovegas

I've always thought so. Anyway, I updated the OP to include a guide to the allegory so that everybody can understand this argument as I think it's very crucial to this generation of gaming and almost certainly the most insightful commentary on the issue to date.

That update is very accurate to my understanding of the original and it was not needed.

Then my buzz wore off.

[QUOTE="jethrovegas"]

[QUOTE="kipsta77"]

Really? No one gets it?

TC: Your pretty smart.

SolidTy

I've always thought so. Anyway, I updated the OP to include a guide to the allegory so that everybody can understand this argument as I think it's very crucial to this generation of gaming and almost certainly the most insightful commentary on the issue to date.

That update is very accurate to my understanding of the original and it was not needed.

Then my buzz wore off.

That's a b*tch, I know. Been on vacation for a week or so, nobody's offering on the street and I'm not trying to look too hard in a third world country. Wind up buying ground kidney stones from an otter.

[QUOTE="SolidTy"]

[QUOTE="jethrovegas"]

I've always thought so. Anyway, I updated the OP to include a guide to the allegory so that everybody can understand this argument as I think it's very crucial to this generation of gaming and almost certainly the most insightful commentary on the issue to date.

jethrovegas

That update is very accurate to my understanding of the original and it was not needed.

Then my buzz wore off.

That's a b*tch, I know. Been on vacation for a week or so, nobody's offering on the street and I'm not trying to look too hard in a third world country. Wind up buying ground kidney stones from an otter.

True story. My long time best buddy is a bonafide half were-pig, half native amirican, and otter ground kidney stones f***s him up something fierce, that's his bane, his KrytoKnight (character in one of my short stories that wears kryptonite armor he got from Aquaman in a sliding universe).

Who am I kidding, that's just one of my personalities...and yes, it is a b*tch. Thank you for that solidarity.

True story. My long time best buddy is a bonafide half were-pig, half native amirican, and otter ground kidney stones f***s him up something fierce, that's his bane, his KrytoKnight (character in one of my short stories that wears kryptonite armor he got from Aquaman in a sliding universe).

Who am I kidding, that's just one of my personalities...and yes, it is a b*tch. Thank you for that solidarity.

SolidTy

[QUOTE="jg4xchamp"]I'm really disappointed. You switched drug dealers didn't you? This isn't even on the level of the whole OT end of the world thread, or the RE 5 poem, or the Fable stuff, or the ducks aren't something and skyrim isn't a RPG. Go back to your old dealer. He had crazier shit. jethrovegas

Yeah, but see, it's an allegory, man. It's not just some crazy story and then a random headline.