*Newt Resident Evil 5 info! Must see!* Ultra Consumable Joy Joy Thread! (56k)

Warning: This is a happy joy joy thread. Keep your hate to yourself and your local small animals.-jethrovegas 11/15/2007

Ultra Consumable Joy Joy Thread!

Newt Gingrich to be a boss in Resident Evil 5?

That's the way it seems, according to a secret rumour leaked from someone who heard it leaked from the cousin of a friend of the janitor at Capcom's headquarters. Apparently Gingrich wants to star in the game as part of his effort to rally up support for his potential 2012 Presidential run. Hmmm...

I TOLD YOU SO:

Crysis Scores a 9.5 from a certain website. Disembodied Crysis head approves.

Bam baby! I told you cats the way this was going down, and you guys were all like "oh noes, you ain't gonna be right", and then I was all like "hellz yeah, it's going down!"

Ok, so to be honest I wasn't hyping Crysis that much but I did place an SW bet on it, and in my last thread I stated that Crysis looks awesome, so cut me some slack and let me enjoy my moment of victory, will you?

*Savors the sweet pheremones coming from the disembodied Crysis Head.*

Mmm. Yummy. Tastes like ****ing victory, baby. Sweet bald headed sweaty victory...

Unrelenting Mass Effect lust...

I am slave to my desire for Mass Effect, much like the dog in this picture is a slave to *insert tired analogy here*.

No seriously, I am like at the critical wantage point with this game. Seeing other people on this board score it early *cough* Verge *cough* doesn't hep in the slightest.

Oh, well I guess until I get the game I am going to have to keep fulfilling my sci-fi lesbian fantasies using nothing but my Princess Leia action figure and my Starbuck plush doll...

Sweet Lords of Kobol, I need that game. :cry:

What the hell is with the Assasinsisnsisnsisns (spelling?) Creed scores?

Gametrailers gives it a 9.1.

GameInformer gives it a 9.5.

1UP gives it a 7.0.

IGN US gives it a 7.7.

IGN UK gives it a 6.7.

IGN AU gives it an 8.7.

GameSpot gives a 9.0.

So here's a question: Is the damn game good or not????

I guess I will just have to *gasp* try it for myself! :o

Question: Who/what the **** is Surfer Girl? I just sitting around browsing N4G, and all of the sudden there is this headline like "ZOMGZ! DA Golaith has hacked Surfer Girl! Teh universe is asplode!"

So I went to his/her/its website and found absolutely no pictures of hot surfer girls anywhere. Sometimes it feels like teh intranet is running out of women who want to be drooled over by anonymous horndogs...*sees Pr0n pop up* ...or not.

MINI-RANT(and yet, the font is so big)

What's the deal with all this talk about graphics, and absolutely no mention of sound? I know that graphics are really important, but why is it that we tend to indulge our eyes and forget about our ears? When was the last time you heard someone say "This game has really awesome sound"? It's probably been a while, which is strange, because sometime sound can change the whole experience. I mean, look at System Shock 2: The games graphics are horrid by today's standards, and yet the sound is still as haunting and terrifying as ever. And CoD 4? **** son, don't even get me started. Sound can add alot to a gaming experience: Stop ignoring it in favor of its big brother.

/MINI-RANT

This...

OR...

How important are complex moral decisions to you in video games? I, for one, really enjoy having complete freedom to make complicated decisions in a game without having to be pigeonholed into one or two roles, which is why certain games that oversimplify this concept really make me mad. Like Bioshock. Or Fable. Or any number of other titles in which you are either some fancy lad with a halo over your head that goes around handing out butterfly engulfed chastity belts to 21 year old women, or you are a horned psychopath who trots about curb stomping children and sexually assaulting forest animals.

How hard is to put some real moral decisions in a game?Hell,the Fallout games are old as dirt and they still nailed that concept perfectly damn well, by letting you do whatever the hell you wanted to and giving some actual complex decisions to make, involving more than the basic black and white bull**** that seems to be the norm in most games today.

The Witcher, by all appearances, bucks this trend, and Mass Effect may do the same.

Here's to games that let you do more than choose between becoming Dr. Evil or being some sort of nanny for genetically modified little girls.

MMM... Biscuit...

MOVING ON THEN...

I heard a cool secret rumour that the next GI cover story is a new Ghostbusters game!

Ok, so it's not a secret rumour, but it is cool. This is why I subscrib... *Insert blatant GI promo here*.

This is a secret screenshot from the expansion pack to Crysis called "Crysis: Kitteh Island".

Behold teh photorealism!!!

It will feature deadly Kitteh enemies that leap 100 feet in a single bound and shoot lasers from their genitals.

Sounds like ****ing party bro.

I found a new picture of Jade Raymond. I thought I'd share it with you guys... because she is good looking. She is hot. I like her alot. She really looks quite nice. She is beautuful. Physically attractive. Yummy looking. Kotaku says she smells good. She is a female. She has female features. She looks good.

Have we been over this?

Newt Killzone 2 footage and screens!

Oh snap! Check out this brand newt Killzone 2 footage and screens! That's almost too good to be true...

Link to newt video!

This is truly unbelievable! If I didn't know better, I would say that the video is pre-rendered bull****... but when has Sony ever lied to us?

RETRO GAME OF THE WEEK: CUSTER'S REVENGE

This is an awesome video game that any person who considers themself a gamer needs to experience IMMEDIATELY. I consider this game to be more important to the history of gaming than Super Mario Bros. No joke. Go check it out.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:Osmund Saddler from Resident Evil 4 said:

"Writhe in my cage of torment, my friend."

Awesomesauce.

Other ****:

I retract my statement from "Super Terrific Happy Thread":

Das Chicken ist nicht furchtbar. Go ahead and eat the chicken.

I heard a rumour from a source that I cannot disclose that Denzel Washington may be involved in the creation of some sort of mexican themed video game working with Epic Games. Please note that this is pretty much uncomfirmed, and is third hand information, but it certainly seems interesting and somewhat plausible given his involvement with mexicans in the movie Man on Fire. My source seemed to think that Washington would be in some sort of a directorial position rather than a voice acting one. Time will tell, but for now just call BS on this, and if it goes down, remember that I called it.

I've got some interesting news here. Apparently some guy has just come out of nowhere and started saying that video games might be bad. I'm not sure of his background, but apparently he believes that certain games can make kids violent.

Hmm, who is the mystery man? He calls himself Jaques Thumbsan.. interesting, he looks so familiar... oh well, whoever this stranger is, he deserves some credibility and the benefit of the doubt. Good to see a new face in front of this cause.

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Did you honestly think you were getting out of this thread without seeing Michael Jackson? You should be so ****ing lucky.

THE ACTUAL END

Lol= laugh out loud

That is an expression of the funny in this thread!

If i could have some of the stuff you are on I would rule the world.

but good thread.:)

yea this is getting old stop wasting forum spacewhite45e

I have an idea! Why don't you protest my crap threads by not posting in them? :o

That works out for everybody...

To anyone saying this is dumb or a waste. What would you rather have?

"teh ps3 is nOOb 360 ownxorx it x2000000000 version 2213487038-03842.5." ??????

I found a new picture of Jade Raymond. I thought I'd share it with you guys... because she is good looking. She is hot. I like her alot. She really looks quite nice. She is beautuful. Physically attractive. Yummy looking. Kotaku says she smells good. She is a female. She has female features. She looks good.

Have we been over this?jethrovegas

Ahh, Jade Raymon....lol, good write up. :lol:

Buh... buh...

Teh kittehs!

:lol:

is this a wanna be yahtzee post?ramulux

No. Me and Yahtzee work different corners. He works the worldwide fame corner, and I work the System Wars corner.

I like my corner. It's cozy. :D

"Behold, my awesomeness"

Here is another screenshot of the Crysis expansion pack.

Crysis: Kitteh Island, by Crytek.

Only 29.99.

TBR: December 2008

Here is another screenshot of the Crysis expansion pack.

Crysis: Kitteh Island, by Crytek.

Only 29.99.

TBR: December 2008

jethrovegas

I don't like those blue eyes of his. Creepy photoshop.

Hilarity :lol: ROFLSAUCE and LOLbeens

yea this is getting old stop wasting forum spacewhite45e

I found a new picture of Jade Raymond. I thought I'd share it with you guys... because she is good looking. She is hot. I like her alot. She really looks quite nice. She is beautuful. Physically attractive. Yummy looking. Kotaku says she smells good. She is a female. She has female features. She looks good.

Have we been over this?jethrovegas

I heard that you can get toJade if you do something special on that one level in Mortal Kombat 2... or was it 3? Crap.

yea this is getting old stop wasting forum spacewhite45e

totally agree, stop wasting time and space

[QUOTE="white45e"]yea this is getting old stop wasting forum spaceWSP87

totally agree, stop wasting time and space

You know what? You are right.

Instead of making original and creative threads with interesting content, I am going to go make a generic system bashing thread full of tired arguments, fanboyish comments, and general uncessary bull**** that been done 100,000,000,000 times before.

It might have a title like "The Wii is kiddy" or "The 360 is unreliable".

It will feature no pictures, it will be a wall of text, and it will be there for no other reason than to make people angry.

It will not be humourous, it will not be original, and it will serve no purpose other than to get fanboys riled up and... actually, you know what? I'm not going to make that thread.

If you want generic bull**** thread#4494940940959 then go outside of my topic and find some fanboy's thread, and argue about meaningless repetitive garbage there.

This thread is about freeform thinking and original content. If you don't like it because it doesn't feature the kind of fanboy crap that makes up the majority of this board, then simply DO NOT POST IN MY THREAD.

Capeche'?

yea this is getting old stop wasting forum spacewhite45e

Be gone ye heretic. Nothing wrong with a little entertainment around these parts, so stop being such a grump.

On a side note.... "Or any number of other titles in which you are either some fancy lad with a halo over your head that goes around handing out butterfly engulfed chastity belts to 21 year old women, or you are a horned psychopath who trots about curb stomping children and sexually assaulting forest animals." = pure gold, lol. Great thread, TC.

BUMPAGE

Your threads are awesome

Killzone PooOGTiago

Actually, I heard a rumour that the Killzone dev team is extending Killzone's color palette from grey, brown and black, to grey, brown, black and dark grey.

:lol:... keep 'em coming.

He really should have just ended the whole thing with Chuck Norris. I was along for the ride until then.

Crap thread, i dont get wats so funny?silverjiken

Funny? Funny??!? FUNNY??!!????!??!?

Who the b'noffle told you that this thread was supposed to be funny?

This thread is as serious as a small forest animal having a heart attack. :|