Do you think it's important that your family/friends know your an atheist?

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junglist101

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#1 junglist101
Member since 2007 • 5517 Posts

I just wonder what you guys think. I haven't really told that many people about my beliefs. In fact, probably more people know my feelings here on gamespot. My family and especially my extended family wouldn't take it well. I wouldn't be hated or disowned but they would certainly be praying for me behind my back. I have to admit that there's always this urge within to say something about it when I have the opportunity.

So, does it matter to you? Should it matter to me?

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Zeviander

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#2 Zeviander
Member since 2011 • 9503 Posts
My girlfriend's mother refused to meet me for the first two and a half years of our relationship because I was an atheist, and had sex with my GF before getting married. After the first time we met, she became an entirely different person (towards me) and includes me in things more than my parents include my GF. Personal anecdote aside, I don't think it is necessary at all for people to know of another's religious beliefs or non-beliefs. More often than not, whatever your answer is, especially if it is a broad label with no clarification, the person inquiring will have already pre-judged you based on their preconceptions (misconceptions more likely). It is the major problem with society I have these days, in that nobody actually wants to discuss and entertain another's perspective out of respect for that person, and rather base an entire personal assessment of you and your behavior (and political positions as well) on what you say you believe. I've noticed throughout my many years of interpersonal interaction online and off, that Christians are the worst when it comes to this, especially if they come from an Evangelical denomination. Most ironically despite the passage in their holy text that states "do not judge least ye be judged". There is no lack of disgusting hypocrites in this world, and it pains me to see them gain positions of political power all over the world, and command followings of mindless sheep to do their bidding.
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junglist101

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#3 junglist101
Member since 2007 • 5517 Posts

It is the major problem with society I have these days, in that nobody actually wants to discuss and entertain another's perspective out of respect for that person, and rather base an entire personal assessment of you and your behavior (and political positions as well) on what you say you believe. Zeviander
The interesting part about that is that same person would expect you to respect their beliefs.

I feel like I want to share because perhaps I may be able to help free them from the mental bondage of religion. But I can't help but think of when I used to be a christian how that I would have behaved the same as them had someone told me that they were an atheist. I wouldn't have hated that person but I would be thinking to myself how foolish they were and how they were going to hell.

I guess the crappy part is the term "atheist" has been demonized by the religious, news media, and some atheists themselves. It's tragic because clearly we have achieved a level of insight that the religious thoroughly lack.

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wis3boi

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#4 wis3boi
Member since 2005 • 32507 Posts
I've been an atheist my entire life, yet had to play along with my parents doing their catholic stuff.  They don't know I'm an atheist, and I've gatehred a few hints that they would be upset if they knew.  I just don't talk about it.  I think far too many people judge an atheist as a terrible person and/or get too butthurt when someone doesn't believe in the same things they do.  Not to mention if I told my parents or family Iw as an atheist, and they asked why....I'd start discussing history and philosophy and such and nobody would understand it and they would immediatly conclude that I was "insane" or "spending too much time on the internet with people like that"
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ghoklebutter

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#5 ghoklebutter
Member since 2007 • 19327 Posts

Yes. I feel horrible lying to my dad's side of the family about my lack of faith. They deserve to know who I really am. 

But I can't afford to disclose it at this time; only when I am financially independent and out of the house will I tell the truth. Perhaps even that isn't the right time, though. I also have to worry about how people who are directly involved in my life will react. My father, for instance, might start to beat himself up for failing to raise me Islamically, and everyone else will see me as a degenerate or a hedonist just because I dislike Islam. 

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alexside1

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#6 alexside1
Member since 2006 • 4412 Posts
I'm not a atheist. I'm a christain. But my belifs differ so greatly than the christians surround me.
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deactivated-59b71619573a1

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#7 deactivated-59b71619573a1
Member since 2007 • 38222 Posts

Yes it is important that they know I think. I don't even really know why, I find the belief in religion to be stupid so I don't want people to think or associate me with that. Also people are more willing to open up and talk to you and as k questions if they know you have no biased faiths

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Elraptor

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#8 Elraptor
Member since 2004 • 30966 Posts
Agnostic more so than atheist. I don't hide it, but rarely see anything to be gained by flaunting it. Most of my relatives are religious, and my co-workers' spirituality ranges from deep to superficial.
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jerk-o-tron2000

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#9 jerk-o-tron2000
Member since 2007 • 10036 Posts

Depends on culture.

My Family knows that I am an atheist. My parents don't mind, but most of my family looks down upon me, but I suppose that it's not just about atheism, but thing's I've done in the past and my complete indiference towards most of them.

Most of my friends are atheist/agnostic.

My Christian friends don't mind, but they have told me that they pray for me and that they hope that I find the path of God.

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junglist101

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#10 junglist101
Member since 2007 • 5517 Posts

they have told me that they pray for me and that they hope that I find the path of God.

jerk-o-tron2000

This part is what drives me nuts and why I am reluctant to come out to my family. I just find it insulting. I guess they have your best interests at heart, but it is a subtle way of telling you that they got it right and you don't.

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wis3boi

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#12 wis3boi
Member since 2005 • 32507 Posts

[QUOTE="jerk-o-tron2000"]

they have told me that they pray for me and that they hope that I find the path of God.

junglist101

This part is what drives me nuts and why I am reluctant to come out to my family. I just find it insulting. I guess they have your best interests at heart, but it is a subtle way of telling you that they got it right and you don't.

That's how I feel. "Cool, pray for me. You waste your time, I'll do something else with mine"

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jerk-o-tron2000

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#13 jerk-o-tron2000
Member since 2007 • 10036 Posts

[QUOTE="jerk-o-tron2000"]

they have told me that they pray for me and that they hope that I find the path of God.

junglist101

This part is what drives me nuts and why I am reluctant to come out to my family. I just find it insulting. I guess they have your best interests at heart, but it is a subtle way of telling you that they got it right and you don't.

I used to feel the same way. Now I just overlook it and just see the good intentions.

It irks me, however, when it comes from a "Holier Than Thou" person that just reeks of ingenuity.

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deactivated-5a9b3f32ef4e9

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#14 deactivated-5a9b3f32ef4e9
Member since 2009 • 7779 Posts

Most of my family are atheists, so fortunately I didn't have to deal with this problem:)

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wis3boi

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#15 wis3boi
Member since 2005 • 32507 Posts

Most of my family are atheists, so fortunately I didn't have to deal with this problem:)

Postmortem123
lucky you :P
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deactivated-5a9b3f32ef4e9

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#16 deactivated-5a9b3f32ef4e9
Member since 2009 • 7779 Posts

[QUOTE="Postmortem123"]

Most of my family are atheists, so fortunately I didn't have to deal with this problem:)

wis3boi

lucky you :P

Yup, I was lucky to be born in a majority-atheist country; however I have to put up with the terrible weather - you guys have me beat there:P

Also, your steam signature picture is always very nice:P

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wis3boi

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#17 wis3boi
Member since 2005 • 32507 Posts

[QUOTE="wis3boi"][QUOTE="Postmortem123"]

Most of my family are atheists, so fortunately I didn't have to deal with this problem:)

Postmortem123

lucky you :P

Yup, I was lucky to be born in a majority-atheist country; however I have to put up with the terrible weather - you guys have me beat there:P

Also, your steam signature picture is always very nice:P

:oops:

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Blood-Scribe

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#18 Blood-Scribe
Member since 2007 • 6465 Posts
My immediate family and most of my friends have known I'm a non-theist for a long time now. I don't have any friends that are overtly religious, and most of them are also irreligious. My immediate family is the same, with my parents having given up their Catholic faith not long after my brother and I revealed that we no longer adhered to it, and while my sister didn't make her lack of religious beliefs as apparent, she too is irreligious.

The case isn't the same with my extended family however, as my cousins on my dad's side of the family are rather devout baptists -one of whom was considering becoming a missionary- and the same is true for my catholic grandparents and some of my aunts and uncles on my mom's side. This is especially true for my grandfather, as he is pretty conservative and doesn't make it any secret that he doesn't approve of atheists. So in that case, I try to shroud my political views and the fact that I haven't been Catholic for the last seven years, and since I'd rather keep things civil with him (especially since he thinks highly of me), I don't feel the need to share my non-theistic views with him.
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#19 deactivated-5a79221380856
Member since 2007 • 13125 Posts
Only my immediate family knows I'm an atheist. It's not an important thing for me to bring up to relatives whom I only see at Thanksgiving, Christmas, or family reunions, because you don't want to ruin such an event with a religious debate.
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jerk-o-tron2000

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#20 jerk-o-tron2000
Member since 2007 • 10036 Posts

Only my immediate family knows I'm an atheist. It's not an important thing for me to bring up to relatives whom I only see at Thanksgiving, Christmas, or family reunions, because you don't want to ruin such an event with a religious debate.

Genetic_Code

Ain't that the truth......

Nothing like receiving snide looks when it's your turn to "Give thanks for what you have" to make everyone unnecessarily unconfortable.

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Uloset

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#21 Uloset
Member since 2010 • 178 Posts

Most of my close friends and family know my positions as I was taught to and continue to question everything of course that can also include atheism. However, I think many people not in my "inner circle" my think I'm very religious as I regularly refer to a variety of religious texts, many times to point out their own hypocrisies. I of course can not be certain of the origin of most religious text total truth or pure bull, they are not without their merits. Of course, these same individuals almost seemed shocked when or if they find my thoughts don't fall in line with their own.


I don't go around pushing my beliefs down others throats though as that would make me a supreme hypocrite, so to answer the original questions; no I don't find it important to let everyone know my beliefs. Even if you do come to my door trying to convert me, you still might not find I think you're fall of it, because I find it is much easier to encourage a religious individual to take a closer look at their own belief system if they don't see you as an "enemy" of sorts.