I think you've all noticed by now that I sort of go on and off with my writing :P. I'll finish Inspired Sword soon, still trying to figure out who wrote it :lol:. In the meantime, enjoy this little snippet that I just had to write about after the crap that happened today.
Little Big Annoyances
Today, I noticed a cole sore growing on my lip as I crossed the street from school. It was a tiny little thing, just a bump. But I could tell by the way it felt when I tongued it--the way it rested snugly between a couple of other smaller bumps--that it was definitely a cole sore. Most people, when their cole sores grow in, they usually get these miniscule things that's not even worth complaining about. But me, my cole sores have to be called "fever blisters," because they grow into giant flesh-bubbles that entirely clutter up one side of my upper lip, reminiscent of someone with herpes.
When I got home, I didn't think on it. I ordered myself some pizza and went online to watch some Shippuden and whatnot. Eight boring slices and another wack episode later, I went ahead and played some video games. The hours slipped by and so did the cole sore from my mind--I completely forgot about it. After boring myself to death I finally got up and went to have myself a glass of water. Nothing was really on my mind, just how lonely things got on a Friday night.
In this state of super-awareness, a series of incredibly annoying things began to plague me, so little and insignificant that individually they didn't--couldn't--do anything to upset me. But together, one after the other, I was eventually reduced to staring wide-eyed at the impossibility of things getting any worse...but somehow...actually...getting...worse...
It started when I took a sip from my glass of water. I noticed that the cole sore had gotten bigger from earlier today; it was at least three times in size. I thought about it for a while and figured that I might as well try to do something about it, since I already missed school yesterday and couldn't afford to miss Monday, too. I went to the bathroom and looked in the medicine cabinet. There, I found the solution for all of my problems: a tube of penciclovir cream. I went ahead and unscrewed the top but it was there that I encountered my first little annoyance. The top had been molded over with some sort of protective aluminum cover that I simply could not rip off. I sighed because I knew what was coming. I just didn't know how bad.
I'll use scissors to cut off the top, I thought. I searched the entire bathroom and, of all the times, no scissors. So I put down the tube and went to my mother's bedroom and scoured her dresser. Magic! No scissors.
So I thought to use a knife. There was definitely a knife in the house. I walked back to the kitchen and more enchantments were cast on me, making the simple trek an ardurous journey of almost 20 seconds. The house was never that big. The kitchen was never that far.
I found a knife but, lo and behold, it was a butterknife. In my house butterknives don't cut anything whatsoever. So I looked in a special compartment where all the sharp knives were kept in disarray. This one I saw coming a little farther along; all of the sharp knives were the dull ones in the house, except for a giant butcher knife that I never touched because...well, it was a giant butcher knife! I refused to use a sword-like object for a tube of penciclovir. My favorite knife, the only one in the entire house that actually cut anything--safely--was suddenly missing. So I took the butcher knife and shut up about it.
I trodded back to the bathroom--another magic 20 seconds--and impatiently slit the tube somewhere along the middle. Some of its contents spilled over and I immediately stopped cutting. A vein popped up in my forhead as I took the knife back to the kitchen on another journey through Narnia, washed up and looked around for a towel. Of course, no towel. I ventured back to my room and wiped my hands on my bathing towel, then took a fresh one from my drawer, journeyed back through the Aztec temple, and put it on the door of the kitchen fridge. A final sprint put me back in the bathroom where I realized that I had not washed my hands with soap.
Many frustrated seconds later, I applied the cream to my cole sore and hastily put it back in the medicine cabinet. I washed my hands again (with soap) and made my way back to my bedroom, glad that the episode was finally over. But of course it was not over. It had only just begun!
I observed my reflection with its lip covered in the white cream, made a few rude comments to put myself back in a good mood, then sat back down to enjoy God of War 2--AGAIN. Before I even started, some random devil tapped me on my shoulder to remind me that I had not applied the penciclovir properly, that I had to put some peroxide on it BEFORE putting on the cream. I dropped the controller on a loading screen and hastily made way back to the bathroom, where I rubbed off the cream and engaged on a second, more ruthless journey.
I reopened the medicine cabinet and took out the tube, then began rumaging around for the peroxide. It was a large brown bottle that was nearly finished, but I could not find it in the dark abyss that was the medicine cabinet. So I went back to my room to get my flashlight, which was usually in my "fun crate," but of course wasn't there today. I proceeded to look for the flashlight all over my room and found it sitting next to the phone. Feeling a little annoyed at this point, I shut off GoW2 and called Kratos a proud jackass.
In the bathroom, I found the peroxide in the back of the medicine cabinet, hiding in a dark corner because this was all just a game to everyone but myself. As I prepared to apply it, I realized the bottle was almost finished and that I would have to dip in with a Q-tip so as not to spill anything over and waste the remainders (you can imagine the Q-tips flying away behind my back at this point.)
I went back to my mom's room, where she had a spare set of Q-tips for baby-and-she, and had a challenge unwedging a Q-tip stuck in its own ungodly length between the opening of the box. I went back to the bathroom and dipped the Q-tip in the peroxide carefully, then applied it to the cole sore-o-doom. A small bubbling sensation meant that the peroxide was already kicking all sorts of virus kiester.
I turned on the faucet and rinsed my hands, then as I went to apply soap I realized that the bathroom didn't have soap for the guests. Whatsoever. For a moment I thought about using my bathing soap, but of course I couldn't do that. So I stood there, calm and serene, took a deep breath and screamed.
WHY MEEEEEE!? WHAT CURSE HAVE I BEEN PLACED WITH!@? ZUES! YOU DARE TO CONSPIRE AGAINTS MEEE!1/
Ahem.
So I crossed the ****ing Arabian desert and washed my hands with the kitchen sh--I mean soap--only to realize that my mom had actually asked me to buy some soap for the bathroom on the way home and I had completely forgotten in my rush to get fatter and continue being otaku. I trudged back through the battlefield in no rush, reapplied the cream, and started getting ready to go to the supermarket.
When I had stripped down to my boxers, I took a look at my reflection again. It stared back at me and we had ourself a moment of silence for all the soldiers that were about to be lost.
Well luckily, my mom came home at that precise moment and she had brought the soap with her!
THE SUDDEN ANNOYING END XD
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