My Last Dollar: Another poem

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Uziel126

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#1 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts

My Last Dollar

I cant remember where I spent my last dollar.
It shone like the stars, and it glowed with its power.
Perfectly formed, through polish and scour--
I can't remember where I spent my last dollar.

I walk on the streets, they think that it's funny
They do not know the value of money.
Emporers, dictators, knights and the clergy--
They knew well the might of the penny.

I miss my dollar, I want it so,
But I do not know where I have to go.
I journey through the sleet and the snow,
But I do not know where to go.

From Cairo to London, from Memphis to Mumbai
I travel the world, searching far and wide
All for a dollar I want with my heart
And the shop, the market, the cafe where it went.

I can't remember where I spent my last dollar
The taste in my mouth has become quite sour
And as my soul goes increasingly dour,
I can't remember where I spent my last dollar.

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Sarge_Maximus2

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#2 Sarge_Maximus2
Member since 2004 • 7767 Posts
Now that was a really good poem. Great job.
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Foolz3h

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#3 Foolz3h
Member since 2006 • 23739 Posts

My Last Dollar

I cant remember where I spent my last dollar.
It shone like the stars, and it glowed with its power.
Perfectly formed, through polish and scour--
I can't remember where I spent my last dollar.

I walk on the streets, they think that it's funny
They do not know the value of money.
Emporers, dictators, knights and the clergy--
They knew well the might of the penny.

I miss my dollar, I want it so,
But I do not know where I have to go.
I journey through the sleet and the snow,
But I do not know where to go.

From Cairo to London, from Memphis to Mumbai
I travel the world, searching far and wide
All for a dollar I want with my heart
And the shop, the market, the cafe where it went.

I can't remember where I spent my last dollar
The taste in my mouth has become quite sour
And as my soul goes increasingly dour,
I can't remember where I spent my last dollar.

Uziel126
"is nice".:D

Except the two bits in bold annoyed me a little, but that's probably just me.
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Uziel126

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#4 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts
[QUOTE="Uziel126"]

My Last Dollar

I cant remember where I spent my last dollar.
It shone like the stars, and it glowed with its power.
Perfectly formed, through polish and scour--
I can't remember where I spent my last dollar.

I walk on the streets, they think that it's funny
They do not know the value of money.
Emporers, dictators, knights and the clergy--
They knew well the might of the penny.

I miss my dollar, I want it so,
But I do not know where I have to go.
I journey through the sleet and the snow,
But I do not know where to go.

From Cairo to London, from Memphis to Mumbai
I travel the world, searching far and wide
All for a dollar I want with my heart
And the shop, the market, the cafe where it went.

I can't remember where I spent my last dollar
The taste in my mouth has become quite sour
And as my soul goes increasingly dour,
I can't remember where I spent my last dollar.

Foolz3h

"is nice".:D

Except the two bits in bold annoyed me a little, but that's probably just me.

It bugged me too... I'll probably edit it some more

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EndlessGame

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#5 EndlessGame
Member since 2006 • 912 Posts
Very good. I like the rhyming. Rhyming is something that seems to be done less and less in poems, and it really adds to the flow of it. :D Foolz3h has pointed out the two sections that I thought could be better. Also, you've got "emperor" spelled wrong in stanza two. It's an all-around good poem. :D I like the symbolism of people not understanding the value of money, it really reflects upon a lot of "modern society's" perspective.