Short Story Competition

I have heard the requests for many types of competitions, but I believe it would be best to start with a short story contest before moving on to something bigger. The only thing I would like is to get at least one more judge, so if you are interested, please let me know and I will contact you (unless you contact me first). If no one volunteers, I simply will judge the contest myself.

The Rules

For this short story competition you will write one (1) short story that is approximately 250 words in length (Min: 225; Max: 275) that will begin with the following sentence, "I remember now, last night I was ... "

You can take it in any direction you want, but please pay attention to the sentence I provided. It is in 1st Person and it is narrative.

Due Date

Since today is September 25th I will say that the final due date is on October 3rd @ 9 PM Eastern Time. Any stories submitted after that time will simply not be judged.

The Prizes

- Everyone who takes part earns Prestige Points.
- Those who place in the top 3 will also earn bonus Prestige Points.
- The person who places 1st in this competition will be given the ability to dictate the rules for the next contest.

Best of luck to everyone who enters!

Fine, take points off, I don't care. I thought this turned out really well and couldn't bring myself to cut any out.

Short Story

I remember now...last night...I was...

My memory played the event back like a movie. "Three gunshots...running with all my might...jumping..."

I had been sneaking around the building long after its closing. I was looking for a certain office so that I could plant the bomb there. It would be one of the much more easy hits in my career, but before I knew it...There was an alarm. And shouting. I thought I may have heard the slider of a pistol being snapped back as a round was racked into the chamber, but by then I didn't think. Training-or desperation- took over before logic and reason could. I dashed towards the 6x8 foot window of the 8th floor of the building, shot it three times with my suppressed handgun, and then dove. As I was in the air, I flipped slightly so the part of my body that broke through the window was my back. This minimized the chance of injuring my face or chest with glass shards. Once I was through, I tumbled in free fall for a few moments, then hit something entirely solid.

"And now I'm..." I started. "Here...talking to you." I shook my head, rubbed my eyes, and ran a hand over my face. "Listen, do you know what time it is? You and I have to get back to HQ and break the bad news to them." I looked to my partner, whose codename had always been Amy, and she silently shook her head. Then she did something that horrified me to the bone. She reached around to the small of her back, a gesture I had seen her make more times than I could count-it was where she kept her prize .44 magnum. I simply gulped as she slid it out of the holster and pointed it at my forehead.

"Sorry champ. Last night was no accident." She clicked the hammer into place. "You were the job." It was the last thing I ever heard.

Gruesome/horror stories are always the easiest to write as short stories I've noticed :P I like it.

Anywho, my submission:

I remember now, last night I was... dead.
No, that can't be. I'm alive. I'm alive! Aren't I?
I open my eyes, to a blackness that says I might as well have kept them shut. I lift my hand up and feel something solid, something heavy. I rub my palm up and down, the smooth friction revealing the material to be wood. My eyebrows knit together on my face, and I push upwards. The wooden barrier lifts and light floods in, hurting my eyes even though it's nothing but the guttural glow of two small candles. I sit up and look down at the container that held me - a coffin?

I shake my head and climb out, legs swinging over the sides to thump onto the floor. There are no windows in my room, merely the dim glow of the candles, and a deeper shadow within the others indicating a doorway. The candles appear to be highlighting something, something I at first take to be a window, but as I walk up to it and push my hands onto it's shining surface, I realise that it is a mirror - a mirror in which my reflection doesn't show. I stumble back; mouth open in a scream, waving my arms in front of myself as the truth inevitably hits me, overriding all denials. I'm a vampire.
My vision blurs, my body echoing the sensations I feel in my mind: nausea, horror, fear - and... hunger. I am hungry.

I know what I need. All other thoughts abandoned, a slow smile creeps onto my face, long canines glinting in the dim light. I turn and walk through the doorway, into the darkness that echoes my soul.

Word Count: 281

Inertia
by: Jason Stafford

"I remember now, last night I was working and got off early. I get home, and guess what I see? You. Screwing Tommy. You could have at least closed the damn blinds, Brenda."

Her face went corpse pale, eyes wild like a doe that spotted the wolf moments before being eviscerated. It stood in stark contrast to the constant replay in my head. Flushed cheeks and closed eyes, lips pursed with each heavy breath. Those same lips that were now silent. The same damn lips that had so pointedly asked me where I was last night. Lips that just last night had so eagerly taken in Tommy.

"Johnny, whatever you saw, it's not what it looked like."

I tried deciding which one of us she was trying to make believe it. The ivory face so blankly spewing forth drivel. I wanted to add color to that face. Blacks and blues and yellows and reds. My clenched fist ached, but I couldn't relax it. I might feel dissuaged.

I could feel the ire raging inside me, until it threatened to burst out of me, fracturing the earth. Her face went hazy. I choked back the tears.

"What you did is monstrous."

"What I did?"

The words vomited out of her mouth. I was insensitive. I worked too much. I didn't look at her the same way I used to. I only caught the sound bites.

"Brenda."

I raised my fist. Her eyes lit up like a praire fire as she turned to run. Her scream was smothered by the roar of the magnum. Her limp body collapsed on the kitchen linoleum.

"Everything's gonna be okay."

how the hell am i supposed to tella story with 250 words all mine are atleast 1000+Game_Geeks

I took me three tries (first story I wrote was 360 second 300) but finally on the third I think I got 250 exactly.
I might be able to cut the others down to 250 aswell.

It is a tiny limit though.

Mathematics of War

I remember now, last night I was dead. It had been desperate. Our contingent was cut off from the main army by the aliens, and they were pressing towards us. We hadn't had any time to make any defenses. Men hid behind whatever they could find, rocks, bushes, trees, anything. It was a massacre. The aliens' weapons are much more powerful than ours; we've known that for some time. Their lasers use higher frequency bursts and transfer much more energy in less time, easily breaking through our defensive shielding, even on ships, let alone on the men themselves.

They do have a weakness though, and we knew what it was. With only ten of us left, we struck out along their left flank as their forces made the final charge into our position. It was only a few seconds before the aliens turned and fired on us, seven of the ten falling immediately. We sprinted and rolled underneath their main deployment craft, squeezing into the two foot gap as quickly as we could. A laser shot caught the last man, killing him on the spot.

The last soldier and I made our way quickly towards the center of the vehicle's underside. Slamming the detonation charge against the glowing orb which gave away the reactor's location, I looked back at my only friend in this world. "It's been an honor." He said to me. Then the charge went off.

Where am I now? That's for you to decide. Seven hundred and forty-eight soldiers died in the war yesterday. Who am I? I'm just a statistic.

(264 words. (Not including title) Iliked this storymuch better than the last one to tell the truth. :D)

yea no offense but im not doing the short storys here to me ints too small a range to do anything decentGame_Geeks

Then you haven't read enough short storys. :P

This is quite a famous piece of fiction: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." By Hemingway no less and he's written quite some lengthy pieces. :P

Uh yeah I have and thelonger ones where better in my opinion.Game_Geeks

y didn't

yeah but it dosent give you time to do a decent beggining middle and an end or get to know the char(s) a little bitGame_Geeks

No but so what? It'sa completely different format.

I personally dislike the short story format but to say that it is not as good as longer storys is simply incorrect.

In fact though even the Hemingway has a begining middle and end.

"For sale:" You think to yourself for sale?what could be for sale?"baby shoes," Baby shoes eh? big deal"never worn." ah. And no it doesn't go into it but it creates quite a feeling and it very intriguing indeed and hell in a 6word story it still managed to have a twist at the end. :P

"I remember now, last night I was..."

The words trembled in my head with constant wish that a real answer would fill my head. To really know that answer, to really know what was of me that last night. I couldn't remember anything at all, and the clues that I was given - a bottle of vodka, a bloodied knife and a corpse lying next to me only gave me the chills when I began to wander... Have I killed this man?

But no... I can't remember... Anything, nothing at all. My name is Josh, yeah... But where the hell am I?

I was scared. Deep **** scared.

And then I heard them - the sirens of the local police quickly engulfed my ears. I was in trouble. But, no! I'm not guilty! I didn't take this man's life... I swear I know I didn't. The door next to me was quickly being rammed as the police tried to get inside, I was running out of time... But what could I do? Take my own life?

No! I'm not a coward! I will tell them the truth, that I didn't kill this man.

I stood up and gripped tightly the handle of the bloodied weapon, waiting for the police to enter the building... And they did. But a quick swing of my knife quickly brought the first one to his knees as he covered his sliced troath. Then something horrifying happened, the dead man stood up.

"What the **** Josh?! We were just playing...!"

I stood eyes wide as I looked at the police I just killed. My best friend Mike in a cop disguise. Damned vodka...

how the hell am i supposed to tella story with 250 words all mine are atleast 1000+Game_Geeks

yea no offense but im not doing the short storys here to me ints too small a range to do anything decentGame_Geeks

no for me its just a limit of say 250 words is basicaly just a paragraph to me. when i wright i dont think i just let the words flow and by doing that i've ended up with 10-15 page stories.

I believe Foolz3h wrote it. My point is that I felt more attached to the character and understood him better than characters from thousand page novels. Also to say one writing form is better than the other is just wrong, we have prefered writing styles, but our own biased does not make one better than the other.Sparky-05

Nope not by me. :D

@ GG: may aswell try. You got nothing to lose.

I find that question to be particularly pertinent to me :P

Ooh... alliteration... lol... didn't notice that XD

Here's my entry (277 words long). And it should be noted that the inconsistant descriptions of other fish etc. are deliberate!

 

__I remember now, last night I was trying desperately to remember what I did the previous night. But apart from the memory loss being a goldfish isn't too bad. Granted, finding out John Howard is in power every few seconds is a heart attack just waiting to happen. I mean how much stress can my small heart take? But apart from that it isn't so bad.
__Seeing myself for the first time is quite an experience, and as I look at myself in the green reflection in the algae, it's always with a strong sense of déjà vu. "You look familiar." And after a couple of seconds I realise it's me, and after one second of vanity and scale adjustment it's back to wondering who I am.
__A carp once told me I was stuck in this very spot for five days combing my scales. But I don't trust that carp; no matter how many times I see him, I don't trust him. And in fact I'm sure I caught him trying to suck up the algae from the side of the tank once. He claimed he was just trying to eat a flake that had become stuck on the edge of the tank, but I didn't believe her. Still I suppose I shouldn't judge all catfish on her simply because he was eating my flakes; it wouldn't be right. I mean I might be very forgetful (I'm not sure I am either because I can't remember further back than three seconds) but it's not like all goldfish are, is it? Trevor has a wonderful memory. Or at least that's what she tells me every three seconds.

(The underscores at the start of each paragraph are there as makeshift indents)

 

Looks good, results should appear within the next days ...

oo ... I'm so excited.

Looks good, results should appear within the next days ...

oo ... I'm so excited.

Sparky-05

And I just can't hide it! :D

The Marking Scheme

Content - /3 - How much of the story is told? Is that story interesting? Original?
St.yle- /3 - How well do the words flow? Is there proper grammar? Spelling? Sentence structure?
Impression/Appeal - /3 - How appealing is this story to a reader, would you read it again? Does it leave a good/bad impression?
Staying within the lines - /1 - Did the writer stay within the word limit?
Proper Start - /3 - Did the writer use the required starting sentence? (If modified a lot, give half marks.)

Helios Rietberg's Marks

irmeleeman5995

Content - 1/3 - a slightly confused story, cliche, and not planned very well. The reader is left wondering what "the job" is supposed to mean.

St.yle - 2/3 - Words flow well; grammar is relatively good; no spelling mistakes; however, some sentences are fragmented, and could have been articulated less matter-of-factly. Punctuation is a little incorrect in some cases, but otherwise alright.

Impression/Appeal - 2/3 - cliche story, meant to be action-oriented but turns out to be made up of rather dull descriptions. Even so, the first two paragraphs set the mood well - it makes the reader feel like they themselves are sneaking around, trying to plant a bomb. Despite that, this mood somewhat diminished in the last paragraph.

Staying with the lines - 0/1 - 330 words, 55 over the limit.

Proper Start - 2/3 - Yes, although the sentence was not incorporated into the story very well.

Might have been better if the writer had been able to fuse it naturally with the storyline.

Total: 7/13

Blade_Tr4iner

Content - 2.5/3 - a very appropriate choice for short story writing, and although not very original, flows smoothly and ties up the story quit well.

St.yle - 1/3 - sentences are sometimes oddly formed for a first-person story. Punctuation is inappropriate at times; otherwise, spelling is fine.

Impression/Appeal - 1/3 - written as if for a comic strip, and does not leave any lasting impression on the reader. Does not call for a re-read.

Staying with the lines - 0.5/1 - 285 words, 10 over the limit.

Proper Start - 3/3 - uses the proper sentence and incorporates it into the story well.

Total: 8/13

EtherTwilight

Content - 2/3 - pretty good choice of story, very realistic. No obvious loose ends, but not overly interesting.

St.yle - 2.5/3 - words flow well; grammar is good; one or two spelling mistakes; sentences sometimes feel fragmented, although that may be part of the writing st.yle.

Impression/Appeal - 2.5/3 - realistic, with a well-set mood. Almost a replica of real-life situations; leaves a sickened feeling in the reader.

Staying with the lines - 1/1 - 284 words, perfect!

Proper Start - 2/3 - slightly modified to fit the story, but a required sacrifice.

Total: 10/13

EndlessGame

Content - 3/3 - good choice of story, fits the task well. Interesting, and packs adequate descriptions of action implied in the setting.

St.yle - 1.5/3 - tenses are abruptly changed throughout the story. Words flow relatively well; no spelling mistakes. Sentences are filled out well, and do not feel too long, nor too fragmented. Punctuation, though, is confusing.

Impression/Appeal - 2.5/3 - a good read, even thought-provoking. Mood is well set, and the series of events is relatively logical.

Staying with the lines - 1/1 - 264 words, nice.

Proper Start - 3/3 - entire sentence used, fits the story very well.

Total: 11/13

RzorFX-

Content - 2/3 - realistic as well, and appropriate to fit within the word limit. Relatively

interesting.

St.yle - 0.5/3 - tenses jumbled at times, and sentences are often fragmented. Punctuation is sometimes inappropriate.

Impression/Appeal - 3/3 - starts out quite mysteriously, and continues to climax, before being resolved. Well worth a second read.

Staying with the lines - 1/1 - 277 words, 2 words over the limit.

Proper Start - 2/3 - although begins with the proper sentence, it was not made to fit the story very well.

Total: 8.5/13

Foolz3h

Content - 2/3 - light-hearted, providing an interesting perspective to the reader. However, the story does not resolve.

St.yle - 2/3 - no major mistakes (apart from deliberate "he" and "she" mix-ups). Punctuation is a little strange for British English but probably fine for American English. Real st.yle of writing is a litle bland, though.

Impression/Appeal - 2/3 - does not leave a particularly deep impression on the reader, but is good for a mildly amusing read. A good read for stressed individuals.

Staying with the lines - 1/1 - 277 words, 2 over the limit.

Proper Start - 3/3 - incorporates the sentence into the story very well.

Total: 10/13

Sparky's Marks

irmeleeman5995

Content - 2.5/3 - Not the best story out there, but definitely not the worst. It is somewhat confusing at times as you seem more concerned with the actions than what is actually affected by them. This causes the reader to shift focus. Your first large paragraph is really what hurts you, there is little depth to it other than a fact that the job went wrong. I can honestly say that you could've presented it better.

St.yle - 2/3 - The setup of the story was good, but the execution could have been better. I feel as if you tried to set it up so you were living through it, especially in the first large paragraph. However, it ended up being in some cases a story that belongs in a history book. Nevertheless, the final paragraph where the reader and the main character comes around is beautiful and gives your story some really character.

Impression/Appeal - 2.5/3 - Despite some dull descriptions you leave the reader with a good feeling of the story. The last paragraph is really your saving grace as anything that was really set in place about the story was lost in the first large paragraph. At times it felt as if I was sitting at the water cooler listening to the same story I have heard a dozen times.

Staying with the lines - 0/1 - You are 55 over the limit.

Proper Start - 2.5/3 - Proper start is used. However, if you take it out, it doesn't really change the story one bit and isn't really used as an important piece of the story.

My major issue with this piece was the first large paragraph, had it been told in a less of a 'he did this then this and then this' fashion the entire story would have been a lot better.

Total: 9.5/13

Blade_Tr4iner

Content - 2/3 - An unexpected story, it is interesting and has a good layout. However, the potential of what this story could have been far exceeds what it currently is. It would have been valuable to present it in a different manor possibly by utilizing a different point of view. The story is good, but there is little progression of character throughout the story. In short, you have a good beginning and end, you just need that middle piece.

St.yle - 1.5/3 - Punctuation occurs in places where it should not, some time confusion. The piece struggles at times to clearly get the point across due to some poor sentence structure. Story would have been much better if you had edited it just a bit more.

Impression/Appeal - 1.5/3 - Sounds as if the story is being told for the thousandth time, there is a sense of fear and anxiety at the beginning, but that is soon lost amidst some poor sentence structure.

Staying with the lines - 0.5/1 - You are 10 words over the limit.

Proper Start - 3/3 - The proper start is utilized and is a pinnacle in the flow of a story.

You had a good story to tell that was creative, however, when it came to telling it you los the readers attention with some serious st.yle issues.

Total: 8.5/13

EtherTwilight

Content - 2.5/3 - Solid story that has a good outline, but a little more depth would prove to be a huge help to the story. There is little connection that the reader can make to this story in terms of what is actually going on.

St.yle - 3/3 - It is told in a professional manner that makes it easy to follow along the story. It flows beautifully.

Impression/Appeal - 2/3 - It is believable, but not very interesting. The only appealing part is the end of the story, the rest is just so what.

Staying with the lines - 1/1 - You are within the limit.

Proper Start - 3/3 - Proper start is used in full and incorporated into the story.

Total: 11.5/13

EndlessGame

Content - 3/3 - The story is good as there is a definite timeline of events that tells the whole story in a clearly well thought format. The story provides the perfect amount of depth for readers to know what is going on without being bogged down with facts.

St.yle - 2.5/3 - The presentation of the story is quite well done and generally keeps the reader at a high pace. It is almost as if you are reading at the pace of the characters' hearts.

Impression/Appeal - 3/3 - A good read to say the least as it entertains the reader and causes further thought into the matter of statistics in war. Definitely a piece that should be read over multiple times.

Staying with the lines - 1/1 - You are within the limit.

Proper Start - 3/3 - Proper start is used in full and is incorporated into the story.

I wouldn't call your story perfect, but as the score says, it is pretty close to it. Your only fault was within the st.yle it was well done, but at times felt as it was not necessary and just thrown in there on top of everything else. Also, I love the title.

Total: 12.5/13

RzorFX-

Content - 2/3 - The story requires a bit more work, but the content is nothing to sneeze at.

St.yle - 0.5/3 - The presentation of the story needs work in all major areas.

Impression/Appeal - 2/3 - The reader is like your character; as the story progresses he becomes more aware of what is going on just as the reader is learning more about the situation. It is not a must-read over and over again, but it definitely leaves a positive impression on the reader in terms of the story itself.

Staying with the lines - 1/1 - You are 2 words over the limit.

Proper Start - 2.5/3 - It begins with the proper line, although it is not incredibly essential to the story.

You have a solid story that is ruined with a bad presentation. This story could be an amazing piece if you rework the sentence structure, punctuation, etc.

Total: 8/13

Foolz3h

Content - 2.5/3 - An interesting perspective is backed by a somewhat interesting story. It would be beneficial if there was more depth to it, but the story as is stands is good on it's own two fins.

St.yle - 2.5/3 - No major complaints on the writing st.yle however, the reader is left with a feeling that it could've been presented in just a little bit more entertaining/interesting manner.

Impression/Appeal - 2/3 - It is good for an amusing read, but is not something that can be deemed a must-read or should be read multiple times.

Staying with the lines - 1/1 - You are 2 words over the limit.

Proper Start - 3/3 - The proper start is used and is fully incorporated into the story.

Total: 11/13
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Totals

First place in this contest goes to EndlessGame with a score of 23.5/26

Second place in this contest goes to EtherTwilight with a score of 21.5/26

Third place in this contest goes to Foolz3h with a score of 21/26

The rest of the partcipants in the contest all recieved a score of 16.5/26 and they are irmeleeman5995, Blade_Tr4iner and RzorFX-.

Thank you to everyone who submitted a story. All entries offered an enjoyable read. Congradulations to the winners.

Have a nice day,
Your Judges; Helios and Sparky.

I must say once again Congradulations and that this union has impressed me. Every contest there has been at least one piece that I print out and put in my reading folder because I liked it so much. I can't begin to say how much I enjoyed reading every piece espessially the ones that were not as they appeared. The great thing is that our goal is to have 2 contests in the month of November.

Congrats everyone!

(how did I miss that this was taking place? :?)

hmm mine didnt get scored?NejiKusa

That would be because you didn't enter.

Oh, you're talking about the one that is a few MONTHS OLD!

http://www.gamespot.com/pages/unions/forums/show_msgs.php?topic_id=25822992&union_id=11557

Damnit, pwnd. I've got my eye on you, Endless.EtherTwilight

Well, you've got a chance to win in Clash of the Titans so you better enter! :P

Oh this is the wrong competition my bad, the other one apparently wasnt marked or whatever, as for the clash of the titans ill sit this one out, i dont write fantasy, more along the lines of Martial arts/kung fu, or hong kong to 80s style action movies. =) I wanna read them tho!NejiKusa

You could of course write about Bruce Lee. :D
I don't think it has to be fantasy, I'm not sure you'd cIass my entry as fantasy...

Damnit, pwnd. I've got my eye on you, Endless.EtherTwilight

I've got my eye on me too. I don't see anything unusual though. 8) I can't win the next competition anyway since I'm a judge. :lol:

And Neji, you could make your entry more realistic than fantasy. Make the deities humans who have some sort of power (not necessarily superhuman abilities) over everyone. :D I'm sure you could find an inventive and original way to not write "pure fantasy" in your entry.