XENOmorph00010's Poems

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XENOmorph00010

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#1 XENOmorph00010
Member since 2004 • 4354 Posts

Though this semester will be over soon, I've been writing more poems and posting a few of them to my Facebook.  Since I like to get some feedback here, I'll be posting (some of) my works under this thread.  Hopefully they aren't bad.

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XENOmorph00010

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#2 XENOmorph00010
Member since 2004 • 4354 Posts

Premonition

For so long I've tasted

your toxic breath, bred

of despair before mourning. 

-

Your touch; fingernails and

naked body.  So cold, now foreign

under my air-caressed skin.

-

All light is dead until I close

my eyes.  Every vision a struggle.

You fade among statues of smoke and fog.

-

Mother earth hasn't been fed

the black tombstone I still see. 

 

"Literal" Version

 

For so long I tasted

*name*'s breath, now toxic,

bred of deep despair

till and past her mourning.

-

Her touch, binding me with

fingernails and a naked body.

This feeling remains, yet withers

by the cold air caressing my skin.

-

All light is dead until I close my eyes

and lie under thin, empty bed sheets.

Each fragmented vision builds this long

struggle, leaving my sanity all but numb.

-

She fades to statues of smoke and fog

as I see her ghostly figure before

the black tombstone.  Mother earth

has yet to let these blow with the wind. 

 

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XENOmorph00010

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#3 XENOmorph00010
Member since 2004 • 4354 Posts

Bright as Stars 

-

The sky is full of breath and short to none.

When ready, light will shine to leave you blind,

whether under fields of stars, or bright sun.

Overhead you won't know past your own mind.

The day would be pride for a boy of song

in hope to woo the heart of dear young lass

whose skin is soft as blue, with clouds all gone.

Then hand would be taken in short green grass.

Yet paths are never clear as day's night comes

to take the lad's long hope without refrain.

Untold her answer may be to full lungs

as gray shades don't say when they'll stop the rain.

"My own you are" he holds in speech and thought

to sing with might of journey found and caught.

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XENOmorph00010

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#4 XENOmorph00010
Member since 2004 • 4354 Posts

One 

I convert to none but my own breed,

for all others are lawless invaders.

Bloodlines are strong in their purity

so they can let no importation lead

yet such export to unsuspecting traders.

Built through individual power,

one's statue is of a single stone

in material that won't crack

even to age's withering sour,

only to voices of the outward tone.

Your whole mass of inherent cells

might speak through coarse tongue

that your own singularity is alone.

Yet, aside, remember another tells,

"who else's verse can match what you've sung?"

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The_Game21x

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#5 The_Game21x
Member since 2005 • 26440 Posts
Interesting poetry. I liked "Bright as Stars" quite a bit.
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waZelda

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#6 waZelda
Member since 2006 • 2956 Posts
I liked One because I think I got a better grasp of what it was about.
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a-7493-23

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#7 a-7493-23
Member since 2010 • 2452 Posts
Hmm, strange poetry lol. You rhyme quite well though, what I mean by that is it's hardly noticable ;) by the way, were any of those poems about the third eye or transcendance? The line about "Overhead you won't know past your own mind." sounds almost exactly like the technique in third-eye meditation where onebecomes aware over top of their head, the final stage of awareness in that meditation.
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iloveflash

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#8 iloveflash
Member since 2005 • 4760 Posts
Wow, this is good stuff. "Premonition" has some pretty stimulating vocabulary; in the first three stanzas the imagery flowed nicely. It took a double-read to figure out what it's about though, but this is me we're talking about, so no worry.
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Foolz3h

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#9 Foolz3h
Member since 2006 • 23739 Posts
I found One strangely brutal, which I why I liked it so much! :)
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XENOmorph00010

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#10 XENOmorph00010
Member since 2004 • 4354 Posts

I submitted Premonition in for class workshop in my class and our professor is a very strict literal reader (essentially, if it doesn't have a concise, literal interpretation with strong imagery he doesn't like it), so I just tried writing a more literal version of it, edited under the original version.  Tell me what you think.

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#11 Foolz3h
Member since 2006 • 23739 Posts

Perhaps your professor should consider a new profession then lol.

I think I prefer the non-literal version. The new one feels filled with over-explanation to me that take away from its impact.

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XENOmorph00010

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#12 XENOmorph00010
Member since 2004 • 4354 Posts

Siblings 

 

There was my car, used but bought fresh.

A Pontiac Grand Prix, what bliss it was to see.

To press the gas sent adrenaline through my flesh

and fueled my longing to swerve and zip like a bee.

-

Now she falls apart, piece by piece, not but 2 years since.

Every week a tire check, pulsation hammers into the brakes,

ABS and traction control, sometimes the alert box whines mid-park,

wiper blades, wiper fluid, hood paint peeling, front bumper scraping,

dashboard squeaking, cracking, breaking, falling apart as once-shiny rims

build and collect from every inch travelled, whores for every customer.

-

There have been my computers, purchased without touch nor dust.

HP's and Gateways and Macs, they all would shine bright.

Cool to the touch and viewer, fast and quick by the processor.

Nothing would intrude internet hunts for those first few months.

-

But by then, by now they don't take long to falter

Bit by bit they slow down, quick to show their faults,

trivial when individual, head-drilling in enumeration.

Browser fail, no internet detected, touchpad's wrong movement,

wrong click.  Slow shutdown, hungover start-ups, no key registers, 

application won't close, program aborted shutdown.  Yes, send

my error message, but don't return advisement unless begging my card.

-

They are precious and impractical, my cars and computers.

Ready to send me beyond even Everest's peak when I take

my first seat.  Yet bliss is never eternal, as with life expectancy

of these collaborations of inanimate objects.

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XENOmorph00010

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#13 XENOmorph00010
Member since 2004 • 4354 Posts

This piece is what happens after listening to Overkill too much (the primary culprit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyJVM-IB5-o).  So when reading this, imagine their vocalist (Blitz) singing it.

 

Off the Streets 

 

Walking up the streets

Bitter from the cold

Thinkin' of the family feast.

 

Comin' up to you

Slider on the road

Jaw dropped with nothing to chew.

 

Look at you ya cat

So you're hot I'm told

I'm ready at home with the bat.

 

Peek on down your blouse

Jittery like a mouse

Slap, tap, I'll give ya a pounce.

 

B*tch I seen it all before

Go put it on the floor

Come on back I'll throw you some more.

 

Rides in bed I take

Slither up me like a snake

Top me off before its too late.

 

So f**k 'em at ya job

And light it at club

Then crawl to me in my tub.

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#14 Foolz3h
Member since 2006 • 23739 Posts

Just read both of those. I especially like the first; some great imagery.

However I wasn't really feeling some of the rhymes. They didn't always seem natural to me. 

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waZelda

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#15 waZelda
Member since 2006 • 2956 Posts
I'm also a bigger fan of the first. Flowed really well and felt kindof alive to me. The link on the second one didn't work frankly.
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#16 XENOmorph00010
Member since 2004 • 4354 Posts

Dedicated to all the love bugs swarming our cars:

 

Love Bug Locust 

Dry, disgusting bugs of summer days

who decorate our cars; whether new or old,

dirty or shiny, black or white, diesel or hybrid.

-

Their attire is black in small fit.

Small, but not petite. And with a dip

of red, orange or yellow at the tip

they dress like a lizard's Sunday dessert.

Sometimes they conjoin as if twins

with symmetrical bodies, but share a head

loose as a meat factory thrust in a blender.

Front ends--bumper and windshield

--covered as if a spider's web.  Ravaged

and cluttered by the prey arachnids seek

to supplant, preserve and suck.

-

Over rushing highways they invade

each vessel.  North, west, east, south; 

all at once.  Is it silly suicide

or simple stupidity?  Dead, dirty

and severed carcasses don't tell.

Neither does the vehicle who plays host. 

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#17 Foolz3h
Member since 2006 • 23739 Posts

" Is is silly suicide"

:D

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#18 XENOmorph00010
Member since 2004 • 4354 Posts
You're so silly, pointing out imperfections :P
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#19 Foolz3h
Member since 2006 • 23739 Posts
The imperfection is the poetry of the herby my friend!
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waZelda

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#20 waZelda
Member since 2006 • 2956 Posts
Good poem, particularly after I bothered to read the dedication and understood it much better.
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#21 XENOmorph00010
Member since 2004 • 4354 Posts

A work in-progress.  I want to add more and do something different with the form on this one.  No title for it (yet).  

My eyes paint a youngling confined, by the plants he's dried of and by,

more than summer's peak heat.  Cold, metal bars shut and surround him

only to reaffirm, he is the hare encaged in adolescence, by a field too open

for foreign flowers to be freely grazed.  Their scents caressing his nostrils, burning

his throat, numbing his brain, breezing his nerves away...

-

Where can his sprinting spirit splash?  If thrust into confines imprinted

not by dry, decaying roaches or the thick of wet worm's waste, yet by hunters of the thick.

They come adorned by the color of nighttime's swamp, color barely relished in its tone by simultaneous

carpenters; searching a sparse jungle for ignorant rodents with no claws, nor claim, nor call for answer.  

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#22 optiow
Member since 2008 • 28284 Posts

My eyes paint a youngling confined, by the plants he's dried of and by,

more than summer's peak heat.  Cold, metal bars shut and surround him

only to reaffirm, he is the hare encaged in adolescence, by a field too open

for foreign flowers to be freely grazed.  Their scents caressing his nostrils, burning

his throat, numbing his brain, breezing his nerves away...

-

Where can his sprinting spirit splash?  If thrust into confines imprinted

not by dry, decaying roaches or the thick of wet worm's waste, yet by hunters of the thick.

They come adorned by the color of nighttime's swamp, color barely relished in its tone by simultaneous

carpenters; searching a sparse jungle for ignorant rodents with no claws, nor claim, nor call for answer.  

XENOmorph00010

I love it! It flows great, and it leaves a lasting impression on the reader (at least it did on me). I absolutely love your wiritng style :) 

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waZelda

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#23 waZelda
Member since 2006 • 2956 Posts
Their scents caressing his nostrils, burning

his throat, numbing his brain, breezing his nerves away...

XENOmorph00010

I nominate this for the non-existant category of Sentence of the Year.

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XENOmorph00010

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#24 XENOmorph00010
Member since 2004 • 4354 Posts

Why do I walk?

Is it to taste the Earth

in her air, or to let the breeze

chill my body's secreted splurging of

sweat?  Could it be my young yet 

wearing body's vague longings, for mild

activity, or does the same grass I visit each day

slowly tan and bleach with my skin?  Would seeing 

a new sky each morning, day, evening and night be my answer?

Am I so desperate to see something, someone different I'll open myself with the door?

Could my thirst for spontaneous ideas with no journal but my memory be what I long?

Perhaps it's the descent, the fall of hindsight and reminiscing giving way to the grains of salt

taken for granted until truly falling on your head like buzzing bugs bum-rushing your ears; or 

maybe I'm just insane.  But who loves the same train of daily monotony? 

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waZelda

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#25 waZelda
Member since 2006 • 2956 Posts

I really love this poem. It's dreamy and poetic and it flows like a charm.

Nothing wrong with craziness. In fact, we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy (ten points to Griffindor if you get the reference).