Blue Moon at the Nowhere Cafe- Poem

Blue Moon at the Nowhere Café

A man in a red suede suit sips caffeine while Seger serenades from the radio

The voices change, preaching the exploitation of the poor and helping the strong

                                                He grins and thinks thoughts of perfume

The woman in the corner drags the cancer willingly into her lungs, savoring her death-bringing breath

Free from constraints of the everyday that anchors those who are creative and lucid

Dreaming of late night fun to be had when the kids are in bed

A teenager click click clicks away, not really seeing all that is happening around him

                                                                                                                Content to be somewhere else,

                Anywhere but here since the here is painful to think about. Youth always brings mundane pain

Rain starts to pitter and patter on the roof as the cook takes a gander at the waitress

                Impure for sure, as it always goes when the blue of the moon falls and paints the sky

But alas, lust is sometimes unjust, nothing more than a sparkling fantasy amidst trees of thought

A young woman of about twenty six and a quarter stumbles out the door, daring to dare the weather

                Not knowing that she wont be seeing the sun rise ever again

Since youth brings stupidity, too

Too bad that this will be forgotten one hundred years down the road

                                                                                Long after everyone here is dust in the earth

                Left to the worms by their loved ones

The man in red suede leaves his tip, tipping the glass and hat, wishing Johnny good fortune

                                                                                                Stepping out into the rain reminds him,

                                He has a date with a .38

                                                                The Blue Moon turns red

Tires pop, gunshots crack, lust explodes

And somewhere, a baby weeps to its mother

Any and all critiques are appreciated. thanks in advance 

Thanks for the poem! I've found that reading poetry can be one of the best ways to stimulate creativity, and your poem did that for me. However, I find it difficult to critique another person's poetry because, well, it's poetry :p

I read some philosophy once which claims that when a person publishes something, it no longer belongs to them; being published, it's public, and therefore belongs to everyone who reads it because everyone can privately interpret it despite what the author originally intended. I think this is most true of poetry.

The only suggestion I have is to italicize the "click click clicks," which would help emphasize the word "click" as a sound to be heard, and not just read. This is entirely subjective, though, since we're talking about poetry.

Lastly, I just wanted to say my favourite line was: "The woman in the corner drags the cancer willingly into her lungs."

Brilliant line. Good job :D 

I really liked this too. The language was vivid in its description and the tone fit the somber (and somehow smooth) mood perfectly.

However, there was one line that felt weak in comparison to the rest of the poem: "Anywhere but here since the here is painful to think about. Youth always brings mundane pain". I personally hate seeing the same word used repetitively, especially when it's only a sentence away, as it feels like soft writing that isn't pushing your expressive powers. There are a thousand ways to describe something, especially something as varied as pain, and it's our job as writers to not just find a word that works...but to find a word that works perfectly.

Overall, excellent work. Thank you for posting! 

Thanks guys I'll take those into consideration! Also, my PM box is acting strange, so I'm trying to accept your friend requests, but it's taking forever.

EDIT: Damnit, this took too long. I'll just go to your pages and friend you guys, apparently Glitchspot is on a roll today.