(Bumping this so everyone can see it)Â
*The following happens at the end of RAW*Â
*The arena is pitch black. The fans are heavily confused. No one has any clue what is going on. The camera men are running around in circles and the technicians are trying to get the lights back on. Cole and Lawler bicker at ringside.*
Lawler: What? What is going on here?
Cole: Well....well are technicians are here at ringside trying to get some work done, but......they never usually take this long.
???: Spotlight, please.
*The crowd hushes in silence as they turn attention to the ramp, where the sound came from*Â
???: I said spotlight, please.
*The spotlight reveals to be Joe. The crowd boos. However, he doesn't have his championship, slammys, or ladies and is sitting on the stage looking around*
Lawler: W-what is this all about?
Joe: *Delicately waves his hand at the crowd and nods as they boo in confusion. He ignores all the negatives banters and negatives signs as he continues on* So I'm not going to lie. They've been some things on my mind. Things, that I need to get off my chest and I'm going to make you all listen because you all love me so so much and you have nothing better to do with your pathetic lives. *The crowd boos and the camera zooms in on a "Shut Up, Joe" sign.*
First, I would like to address the order of our current situation here in the WOTU. ME. Yes. Me. Now, you're all probably wondering where my beautiful ladies are? Well I told them they could take the night off. Now you're probably wondering "Woah, Joe, I thought you loved your girls" Well that is true, it's very true. I do love my ladies, but for now they're sticking in the back. This is because it seems everyone gives so much damn attention to my ladies they can't seem to see exactly what I do on my own. I won two titles. Not one. TWO titles at Survivor Series, people. What did you all and the entire damn roster do? You just complained. *He voice becomes high pitched and stupid as he tries to imitate the fans, which they don't take kindly to* "Oh, Joe, all you do is make out with a pink hedgehog and a fourteen year old girl" No one even bothered to say, oh, congrats on those TWO titles you won there, Joe. I want people to know about me not just my girls. I don't wanna be like Killer! *The crowd boos wildly* But everyone just seems to we their pajamas when Gamerguy retains or Killer wins. No one even bothered to congratulate me on a big win. Well I'm sick of it! SICK OF IT!
*the crowd boos loudly. They start chanting "You suck" but Joe seems unaffected by this. As he'd usually be flipping out.*
You know that takes me to my next point. How come you make a big deal out of all these other guys, but NEVER give a damn about me? For instance, why am I not getting a world title shot? Why was a forced to be stuck with the no talent, charismaless X Division failures!? Well I'll tell ya why? Those guys on the top, they're scared. They're not dumb, they do their homework and they know I'm the best. Even though I'm not the guy with the belts, or the most loved guy, or the best merchandise seller. But I'm the best. I know it, Spidey knows it, the guys in the back know it, and you know it..........So why don't you give me credit? You're just all so ignorant you buy into whatever these guys stuff in front of your faces. When GamerGuy acts like a clown, you eat that crap up, when Icon acts like a goodie two shoes, you eat that crap up, when Killer talks about how he's a one woman man and how much he loves Brie you all eat that crap out of a platinum spoon.Â
*The crowd boos even louder*
Cole: Can he hear himself talking? Does he know how much trouble he's going to get in?
Lawler: I-I don't think he can, I-I've never seen someone snap quite like this.
Joe: Continuing on. For those of you who can still pay attention. I-I know after five minutes of no women or punches your brain starts to fade, but please, try your best to listen to me. *The crowd starts booing louder and louder* If it's one thing I hate about this roster it's those damn guys in the back! Even my partner I friggin hate! He can't touch me, he's holding me back! But because I'm such a saint I take the liberty of keeping this guy with me and making sure he doesn't fall through the cracks like I almost did when I first got here? Why did that almost happen? Because. This whole roster is full of selfish bullies! On top of that, you guys just seem to praise these guys I mean let's go down the list. Twist AKA Resident Jobber. Twistify this Twistify that do you have to put your name before a suffix as a gimmick? Shoe? Well you know him and I think I'm talking too fast for him to understand. Â That Hockeychick, let me explain him. "I wanna be a champ." Loses a match. "I wanna be a champ". Loses a match. And so on. And so on. It never ends with this guy. Yet you guys love him. Yet he loses and lets you down but I win and go to glory and you all chose to boo me. Now for Icon. Yes my rival. This guy likes to talk in his big words, which no one else understands. I mean, I know if I can't you guys won't be able to! His little orange girlfriend Layla loves to just cuddle up with him and it's so annoying! Oh but not as annoying as that Metal. Oh......Metal *he shudders* him and his new "evil" Metal persona. *sarcastically* Oh No! Whatever will we do? Evil Metal!? Well you know what? All he will ever do is cry and cry and cry. It was my partners fault we lost it was Joe's fault he was born better than me. Plus, we get it you're not from the US you don't have to remind us every five minutes, pal. *He pauses and rubs his forehead and takes a big breath* Now......we've reached the three people I hate the most, ironicly, the three biggest stars, besides myself in this company. First off, Gamerguy. My former partner, he wants to be me so badly it's not even funny. I go solo, he goes solo, I get women, he get's women, I get another women, he gets another one. It's like a game of copy cat and I've never seen anything more annoying in my life. But no matter how bad he gets on my nerves, he'd never even touch...........Killer. *crowd cheers* This GUY! Damn, I've never seen anyone quite like him, a washed up veteran swimming around for any title he can get his grimmy little hands on. And his girlfriend, Brie or Nikki, well who even gives a damn? Always by his side "In Love" "Couple of the Year" *gags* Oh man, it makes me sick. I can only take so much. But, despite all I said, not even all those people combined match this man.............................................Spidey..........The man who has bullied me since day one. The man who screws me out of shot after shot. I would be Mr. Money In The Bank if it weren't I would be the biggest name in the company if it weren't for him! He started picking on Amy before everyone else and because every guy backstage seems to idolize him, they do it too! Whenever anyone does something Spidey just thinks he has to do it better, whether it be girls, promos, ring work, anything! He'll always squash me. Well you know what? He can't sqaush me. Why? Because I am the best.....I'm the villain he is! You all know that. But he holds everyone back from what they can do! He only cares about himself! I hate working for him! I've never regretted doing anything more in my life than shaking his hand and signing that contract one year ago. No where does it say "Sign here and I'll treat you like crap" No. It was an opportunity and it's not paying off like it should. He only pays attention and gives shots to his little buddies AKA Crusuder the old man, Killer, Gamerguy all those failures! He doesn't even acknowledge me! In fact the first words he ever said to me were-
*The spotlight goes off and we hear a crash. When the lights go back on, Joe's mic is gone and he has a red fist mark on his jaw, he yells at the crowd as everyone stares in shock as he heads for backstage*
OOC: My longest promo yet. What did you guys think? Â
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