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Something similar happened to me. I got the Demon Door Cottage and moved my family in there. But then I needed to do another demon door opening quest, so I brought my wife out there. When I walked into that demon door, finished exploring, and then teleported out back to the main city, I forgot that I'd left my wife out by that door on the other side. After that I could never find her again: not by the door or anywhere in that territory, and not back at the house either.
It's a bug with the game, I've heard a few other people mention losing their wives as well. Just marry someone else -- that way you'll get that polygamy achievement, so there's no real downside to it.
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