I can't connect, well, update. W/e.

I can connect to my router, but I get a message to update. It fails every time I try to update... Wtf? This happened like 4 months ago. I took off/reattached everything, reset my router, deleted my cache, turned off my firewalls, and tried using an ethernet cable. Thing is, my Ps3 and Wii could connect just fine... so I just decided to give up.

So now, I turn to you, my fellow Gamespotters, in my time of need. Why can't I connect? If I'm missing anything tell me, cuz I really want to go online again.