What's the funniest thing you ever heard on Xbox Live?

Mine was this one punk just talking an insane amount of unnecessary trash in Gears of War. He eventually started talking about this other guy's mother and how he … um … you know … had relations with her. Anyway, the guy's response was, "Congratulations. You just slept with a 68-year-old fat lady". It brought down the house, and the other guy shut up real quick. Haha well please share!

One of my friends lives far away from me, so the only time I really get to play with him is on LIVE. He can do voices really damn well, and in the middle of a Halo3 match he starts doing Arnold commentary of his game. He was like, "Get to the Warthog!" (instead of chopper) and when he got a headshot on someone with a sniper he said, "Who is your daddy and what does he do?" Then in the same Arnold voices he was doing Old Greg qoutes, "What did it mean to you to see my down stairs mix up?" Man everyone that could hear him was laughing, he had people coughing because they was laughing so hard. It was great too because it was perfect Arnold voice.

Well I was playing the Halo 3 campaign with 3 of my real life buddies via xbox live. We were on the highway mission and our one friend on the warthog had to go AFK so we parked the warthog in the back where there was no enemies, and me and my other buddy got out and starting lighting up covenant. A minute later we see the warthog start driving around and I was like wtf that was a fast. Then I hear YEEEHAW!!! Npc marines hijacked the warthog our friend was in and started driving it around while he was afk on the gunner position. The non afk friend just said OH NO in a shocked voice. We must have laughed for like 20 minutes.

i was in an xbox live party with 5 people and then one inites a friend and shes a girl. so there both 10 with high pitched voices so they got to know each other and i went to get dinner then i came back and they told me they were "going out". virtually of course. they began sending pics of each other over the phone and kept saying they " loved" each other. the guy even changed his clan tag to IL* that stood for i love im not going to give out their names. god those ***** made me mad they dont know what love is. how can you love someone over XBL?

mine is i was playing with random people on call of duty WaW and this kid on my team stopped and we heard him go " mom can u bring me some chips.... no i dont have the munchies im just hungry........ whyy would i be smoking **** ? if i was smoking **** then i sure as hell wouldnt be here id be bowling.... have u ever bowled while high? ....... i have its great...... no mom i was just joking.... no dont take away the xbox...... i dont wanna take a pee test..... no put away the cup im not pieing in that...... ya know what never mind on those chips. "then he gets back on and he said "sorry about that i was busy with my mom" and we said yea we heard and he was like damn i thought i was on orange lol lol lol lol lol i laughed so long

There was a guy in the 2008 holiday video...and his GT was Patrick. I don't know why, but I cracked up at that...Patrick...*snickers*He's so original...

lol you know those random kids that you hear on the mic (the ones that sound like 3 year olds, and probably are.) well i was playing cod5 nazi zombies with a bunch of wierd kids with high voices that i dont know. we eventually open up the next door and get to the random weapons box then a kid opens up the box and gets a flamethrower, (he screams like a girl over the mic) "GUYS I GOT THE FLAMETHROWER", his friends are all like"LUCKY!!!"....five minutes later he dies and is all like "GUYS HELP ME I GOT THE FLAMETHROWER!" and his friends are like" just because you have the flamethrower doesnt mean your special" *he starts screaming and crying over the mic* im just sitting there laughing my ass off...

"My cock's one of those 5 Dollar Foot Longs" "Yeah, you're just jealous my cock's 15 inches long."

Huh, I never knew a foot was 15 inches long.

I was playing halo 3 and started singing living on a prayer into the mic, then thre guys on my team sang it back

The usual crying screams of children getting dominated. It can never get any funnier than that.

The Chalupa Kid :P

Warning: May contain some language. Watch at your own expense

I wz playing CoD WaW and diz kid waz talking. thiz other guy is a all like "dud shut up little kid"

den the kid said " im not a kid i'm 6 years old"

then the guy said "k den u like girls"

the little kid sed"no i like boys"

wat i tought was funny iz that a little 6 years old playing nazi zombies:lol:

mine is i was playing with random people on call of duty WaW and this kid on my team stopped and we heard him go " mom can u bring me some chips.... no i dont have the munchies im just hungry........ whyy would i be smoking **** ? if i was smoking **** then i sure as hell wouldnt be here id be bowling.... have u ever bowled while high? ....... i have its great...... no mom i was just joking.... no dont take away the xbox...... i dont wanna take a pee test..... no put away the cup im not pieing in that...... ya know what never mind on those chips. "then he gets back on and he said "sorry about that i was busy with my mom" and we said yea we heard and he was like damn i thought i was on orange lol lol lol lol lol i laughed so long

Ruhdezee

funny man f*****g funny.

someone was idle for about 30 minutes. his excuse? he was making 3-minute Ramen.

someone was idle for about 30 minutes. his excuse? he was making 3-minute Ramen.

bulletsword

I hate people that do that. If you're going to be idle for a long time leave the game it's not that difficult.

I was playing Halo 3 and there was a young kid that was maybe 12-13. Normally kids don't bother me as long as they play the game without being annoying. Other players, however, are less tolerant. One player on my team asked the kid "Have your balls dropped yet?" and the kid replied " Why are so many grown men so interested in my balls?". I had to mute my mic I was laughing so hard.

This other time I was playing online with a friend and we were taking cover in a building. Someone tossed a grenade through the door and it lands right between us. He looked at me and said "I love you, sarge!" I said "What!?" then the grenade kills us both.

On CoD4 Huge massive fight with Americans and Brits. Then i decided to team kill one of them.....OMG i have never heard people yell at me so much...

On CoD4 Huge massive fight with Americans and Brits. Then i decided to team kill one of them.....OMG i have never heard people yell at me so much...

K0H17K1LL

Ok...

1.) Was it Americans vs. OpFor or British vs. Russians, because Americans can't fight Britain ;)

2.) TK'ing is a little harsh... oh well

I am not sure about the funniest, but recently....actually today i was playing gears of war and there was a whole team of African Americans and the whole game they were using the word man like every other sentence. "What the F*ck man, i had you A** man, man did you see that Sh*t. "Yah man i saw that. What the h*ll was that man. This continued on and was hilarious.

My friend and I were playing gears and this 7 year old starts bragging about how he has two scooters and how he got a 101% on his spelling test. We kept messing with him, and it was hilarious. Still don't know why a 7 year old was playing gears on xbox live, though

it was on rainbow six vegas 2 and this one kid said he was dating a girl with a mustach.

the whole team was laughing their a$$'e$ off, (7 people)

and the dude left 2 minutes after lol.

A couple jokes that I'd be foolish to publish on this site, haha.

When some guy started to sing puff the magic dragon and tried to get everybody to sing along :P tony_fjellborg

Yesterday I was playing Halo 3 and on my team was a very little kid (Don't know the age) and a 13 year old, at leasts that's how old he said he was. Anyway we were playing CTF and the VLK said guys someone's in our base going to capture the flag. The 13 year old went bolistic. He started yelling at the VLK and telling him how "He's not old enough to play this game". After all that he just sighed and said "I hate little kids". Me and some other dude found it hilariously funny. I'm not sure why.

was playing halo 3 and I had just gotten live like 2 days earlier, well we went to play one level (i cant remember) and one guy was like hey this level is sweet dont veto.... well of course...everyone but him vetoed it. Lets just say he went OFF! Never hear so much screaming and swearing...it was so loud that you could barley hear him it was all static. I was laughing so hard cuz he was such a loser. I was going to play the level too, beacause it wasnt that bad but just cuz he mentioned not to.... I just have to :)

was playing halo 3 and I had just gotten live like 2 days earlier, well we went to play one level (i cant remember) and one guy was like hey this level is sweet dont veto.... well of course...everyone but him vetoed it. Lets just say he went OFF! Never hear so much screaming and swearing...it was so loud that you could barley hear him it was all static. I was laughing so hard cuz he was such a loser. I was going to play the level too, beacause it wasnt that bad but just cuz he mentioned not to.... I just have to :)

FFVIIROCKS

also it was big team so there were 16 people... you should of seen how fast it jumped to 15 vetos!

Some whiny American 12 year old, IQ wise anyway, with... "America invented the English Language"

"My cock's one of those 5 Dollar Foot Longs" "Yeah, you're just jealous my cock's 15 inches long."

Huh, I never knew a foot was 15 inches long.

Lord_Nas3k

well you dont have to be a genius,but damn you should at least know that.

[QUOTE="FFVIIROCKS"]

was playing halo 3 and I had just gotten live like 2 days earlier, well we went to play one level (i cant remember) and one guy was like hey this level is sweet dont veto.... well of course...everyone but him vetoed it. Lets just say he went OFF! Never hear so much screaming and swearing...it was so loud that you could barley hear him it was all static. I was laughing so hard cuz he was such a loser. I was going to play the level too, beacause it wasnt that bad but just cuz he mentioned not to.... I just have to :)

FFVIIROCKS

also it was big team so there were 16 people... you should of seen how fast it jumped to 15 vetos!

ya i always have to veto if i hear some guy telling everybody not too

i was in an xbox live party with 5 people and then one inites a friend and shes a girl. so there both 10 with high pitched voices so they got to know each other and i went to get dinner then i came back and they told me they were "going out". virtually of course. they began sending pics of each other over the phone and kept saying they " loved" each other. the guy even changed his clan tag to IL* that stood for i love im not going to give out their names. god those ***** made me mad they dont know what love is. how can you love someone over XBL?

ihavenonickname

Don't know the funniest thing I have heard, but the funniest thing I've seen just happened a couple days ago.

I was playing Halo 3 and picked up the Sniper Rifle when some douche on my own team (Rayne5030 was his gamertag) started trying to betray me for the rifle. So I snipe him in the face and start meleeing his dead body a few times when the other team kills me with a grenade. So the grenade dislodged HIS dead body from the bank of the river (in Valhalla) and it starts floating down the river just as he respawn's. The idiot comes running down the hill, shooting HIS OWN DEAD BODY and then starts T-BAGGING HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, my body is about 20 metres away, with the sniper rifle sitting next to it. So after I respawn, I tell everyone how stupid he is and he tries to betray me again and I snipe him in the face again. I expected to be booted but he must have been button mashing and pushed "B" by mistake so I got to snipe him in the face a 3rd time before being booted... it was freakin hilarious.

I immediately went to the theatre and recorded the t-baggin for my file share and sent him a message that I was keeping it there FOREVER for everyone to see how stupid he is... he went offline about 20 seconds later.

This.

[QUOTE="ihavenonickname"]

i was in an xbox live party with 5 people and then one inites a friend and shes a girl. so there both 10 with high pitched voices so they got to know each other and i went to get dinner then i came back and they told me they were "going out". virtually of course. they began sending pics of each other over the phone and kept saying they " loved" each other. the guy even changed his clan tag to IL* that stood for i love im not going to give out their names. god those ***** made me mad they dont know what love is. how can you love someone over XBL?

chaoscougar1

that was the funny part one claimed to be a girl but you dont know there lying and one had a bit "deeper voice"

On call of duty 4 there was a player on our team who was camping and had a 26 kill streak and then this guy on the other team shouted out "grow some balls man " the camper started laughing and then said "you do know im a girl right ? "

I was playing COD4 on Search & Destroy and this guy was the only dude left to defuse the bomb so he ran to it and tried to defuse it but he didn't know how, so this guy on the other team called him a f*** stick. I can't tell you how long I laughed about it.

This canadian and this english guy were arguing about which country was better the whole game. And what made it even funnier was the canadian was high haha

oh and little kids. always a crackup.