Goat Direct 2025 - Everything Announced During This Totally (Actually) Real Presentation

April 1 is generally a day where everyone is a tad bit more skeptical than usual, but Goat Simulator 3 developer Coffee Stain North chose today to hold its first--and possibly last--Goat Direct showcase to reveal what's next for the franchise. Filled with announcements for several real things that are definitely happening, the presentation helped end the 10th-anniversary celebrations of Goat Simulator with the reveal of a new in-game update for Goat Simulator 3, Pilgor plushies, and more.

First up, Coffee Stain North showed off Goat Simulator: The Card Game. This will launch on Kickstarter on April 30, and the aim of this tabletop experience is to translate the chaos of the video games into a card-game format.

Switch 2 on the way, but for anyone content to stick with the original Nintendo device, you can look forward to a Goat Simulator edition of the Nitro Deck. CRKD will launch a new controller collection for the console, and each one will be decked out in themed artwork celebrating Pilgor and his world. These will be available exclusively from the CRKD website for a limited time, and in case you haven't checked them out yet, Nitro Decks are quite nice as they offer Hall Effect sticks, four mappable back buttons, adjustable trigger sensitivity, and a low-latency USB-C connection.

A Goat Simulator 3 showdown has been announced for the online tournament series Twitch rivals, as four teams will be going head-to-head to crown the real streaming GOAT. You can tune in on the Twitch Rivals channel today to see the competition in action, starting at 2 PM PT / 5 PM ET.

To cap off the 10th-anniversary celebration of Goat Simulator, Coffee Stain North will unleash a free in-game update. The developer says that this includes "a multitude of unreleased ideas" through 27 new gears and an additional hidden gear that'll cost you a few bucks--more on that below. There'll also be a new alternate goat in the form of Plushie Pilgor.

Related to the Goat Simulator 3 update, fans of the game can now preorder their own Pilgor from YouTooz. Hold it, squeeze it, or maybe even simulate the neverending chaos of life by hurling it at random objects so that you can play Goat Simulator IRL. Purchasing the plushie will also grant access to the hidden in-game gear as part of the Gifts from the Rifts update.

Meanwhile, mobile players of Goat Simulator 3 can check out the Multiverse of Nonsense update on iOS and Android. According to Coffee Stain, this will let you explore a mythological mountaintop, a cartoon town, and a city where Human Simulator 3 was the hottest game of 2022.

We don't know what's more disturbing: that Pilgor's anthropomorphic skin for Fortnite is making another comeback, or that he's in better physical condition than most of us.

What could possibly be next for Pilgor and San Angora? "Something" weird according to this brief teaser trailer that hinted at Pilgor's journey continuining across trippy dimensions.