This is an ungodly abomination - basic words do not know how to describe it

User Rating: 1 | Manhattan Chase PC

The funny thing is, I actually reviewed this game a while ago. I was a lot dumber back then, and I didn't realize 80% of the crap I was saying. The years pass by, and I'm a different person. But, if there's one thing that's the same, I sorely despise this game and think it's the biggest piece of crap in the world. When it comes to video games circa 2000-present, it's hard to top Manhattan Chase. This creation of Satan gives games like Big Rigs a run for their money. Oh yeah, it's THAT bad.

First, I want to discuss the concept. There are 2 storylines (which are incredibly uncreative and boring) which include a female NYPD officer and some Mafia chick. Basically, it's a good vs evil type of thing. The Mafia chick wants to commit a terrorist attack over Manhattan (bad timing? This came out in 2005, just 4 years after 9/11, making this rather distasteful), and the NYPD officer has to stop her. Aside from the incredibly boring story, there are a lot of sexual undertones as well, with a lot of the female enemies being partially nude and in "sexy" outfits. Basically, this is the result of letting a really horny boy going through the height (and possibly also on drugs) of puberty have his request for a video game granted by a (crap) developer. I could imagine they were trying to market this shit to people who had "those" kinds of fetishes and fantasies, but the bad graphics and complete lack of voice acting make this a dead on arrival even for them.

Moving on to gameplay. The gameplay is a gigantic mess; I think Big Rigs was more functional than this shit. The controls in the game are some of the most confusing and unresponsive I've come across. The handling for any vehicle is insanely berserk, as you'll find yourself speeding from 0 to 200 MPH within a few seconds. Because of the "super-fast and exciting" handling the game has, you'll be frequently crashing into buildings and absolutely struggling to make turns, and it's made worse because of the fact that the game features a lot of chase scenes. The shooting is just... bullshit. It's very difficult to aim your gun at enemies (so you'll be bleeding and dying frequently till you master the awkward controls), and sometimes they won't die. In addition, the game refuses to abide by the laws of physics as well. In addition to the aforementioned storyline, there are also a number of game modes that are equally as confusing and dull. There's absolutely NOTHING fun about the gameplay (if the gameplay even exists). I'd rather sit in the DMV for 2 hours than play this game.

Graphically, the game is an absolute eyesore. The graphics were outdated even in 2005 (they look more like they came from 1998 or so). The textures are low-res, the characters all look blocky and barely classify as human, the skies are just a picture rather than a real time cycle (as in Grand Theft Auto or any other actual video game), the vegetation is an absolute joke, the roads, streets, etc all look like a gigantic mess. What can I say, look at the screenshots. There's nothing positive to say about the graphics. Lack of effort on the developers is apparent. Even Grand Theft Auto III, a video game that came out in 2001, looked a LOT better than this pile of filth (hell, comparing both these games makes GTA III look next-gen, which makes sense given that this game was using an engine that was outdated even by 2000-01; crap such as this may have been considered mediocre if it came out in 1996-98).

Sound sound sound. let's go there. I found out that the songs that play in the game are from Theatre of Tragedy's "Musique" album released in 2000 (the primary song in the menu is "City of Light"). Whether they authorized their music to be used in the game is beyond me (I'm not sure they'd want their songs to be associated with this steaming pile of crap). If you're a fan of industrial metal fused with electropop elements, you've found some songs that you'll find worth listening to. I actually found a way to replace the main songs in the game with songs such as "F*** tha Police" from N.W.A., which provided some comic relief from the incredibly sadistic tragedy that is Manhattan Chase. Outside the soundtrack (let your music tastes judge that one), the sound effects are cheap, stock, cliche, confusing, low-quality, and in general blah. This isn't a Grand Theft Auto or anything. The sound effects sometimes don't even make any sense (I'm not sure there was any kind of real voice acting in this game).

This game attempted to be a Grand Theft Auto (and perhaps a True Crime) clone and give it a lot of sexual overtones as well as add the "over-the-top" element that was done far better by Saint's Row 2 and San Andreas, and market this shit towards puberty-hit teenage boys and dudes with "these" kinds of interests. What came out turned to be a flop so awful I'm not even sure you can laugh at it, because you know full well human beings thought this was a good idea and shamelessly published it in such a dire state, and that there were ESRB workers who were forced to witness this atrocity, perhaps getting a number of laughs from it (or perhaps one of the strangest days of their lives). Basically, there was someone who must've thought "damn, this is a really bad game!". This game is degrading, not to women, not even to video games, but to humanity itself.