He was a ninja, he was a man He met a whore and had no plan To get back the sword for his clan
He met a whore and had no plan
To get back the sword for his clan
The river is flowing underneath your feet, seeing the reflection of your masked face rippling in the water. You admire your face’s high polygon count and continue you on your way, fleeting as if a bird. You jump from ledge to ledge and crawl and run along walls. Your opponents’ heads dance at the tip of your blade, dissevered as their bodies hit the floor to eventually disappear into the gaming graveyard. You wish you could sit back and write a haiku, along the wooden corridors with the exquisite lighting. Then you finally enter a room where you meet a man in white robes. Maybe now you will write that haiku and drink sake with this new found friend. Well sorry, this is where **** hits the fan. This guy is going to kick your butt… And I mean it.
Ninja Gaiden Black is a ‘platinum hits’ edition of the original Ninja Gaiden. But now they’ve packed it with Mission Packs, new costumes, the arcade version, and extra difficulties, as if it needs any. You still great the great campaign that most people, that haven’t broken a controller, know and love. Now let me introduce (or reintroduce) you to Ryu Hayabusa, our main man. He’s a spandex-wearing, dragon-sword-toting, revived, revenge-driven, girl-saving, demon-slaying ninja. Put that on your resume. You start out your adventure by going to visit Murai, your father’s friend from another clan… you whip his but but not before the beautiful Ayane gives you a message: You village is being burned down. Let’s just say you die being killed by a demon but reincarnated by a falcon and then seek out revenge. (Trust me the story is not as complex as it sounds and for a basic plot, see haiku above.)
Now sure you might not find Ryu emotionally stimulating or anything, but he’s calm, cool and collected, and will protect you from those evil scantily clad demons. That’s what a lady needs in a man. A guy who can use a repertoire of moves greater than that of a fighting game, steadily gaining more over a course of a game, a man who can use multiple types of weapons such as nunchuks, swords, axes, and poles… yes poles. She needs him to fight and defeat superb AI which will relentlessly block and strike him to keep him on his nimble little toes. She needs him to be able to wall run, swing on bars, jump real high, and do all the platforming a girl could want across many lush and beautiful locations. Yes every girl needs a Ryu Hyabusa.
Now the visuals in this game are probably second to none on the X-Box. Character models are lifelike and animate superbly. Demons are so attractive that you’ll start getting a bit scared at the fact you let those thoughts run through your mind. I wonder why all demon girls shop at VIctoria Secret, a social trend I must explore. The environments are highly detailed and what not… Textures are never streched into oblivion, they stay nice and tight. I can go on and on about the graphics but the best thing to do is… get yourself a screenshot!
It’s been a week and I don’t remember a single tune from this game. Not even when I start dressing up like a ninja and jump around my house like I was the damned Prince of Persia, do I hum the rather forgettable synthesized loops. The tunes are hollow, sure they fit the environments, but they get blocked out of attentiveness rather early on. This most memorable track is the main menu tune. But the sound effects mesh together to make a beautiful melody. You can hear your sword cut through the air, in a divine dance of man and demon. You can hear their body parts become severed and land with large thuds onto the floor. The juices escaping their body create a sort of undercurrent beat, crescendoing to your enemies screaming.
Ahhh... But Ryu... this is your encore isn't it. It is deja-vu to me and you. But let us tango once again... yes again. We must make it through two new difficulties hand in hand and realize that women demons are tough to deal with. What of the fifty new missions for us to experience outside of the campaign. I know , I know, I've bought some of these for you in the Hurricane Packs found on X-Box Live, but there are new ones here as well, totaling to about 50. Look at all the new clothes I also bought for you... yes we can unlock some new costumes to dance in. But do not ever forget you were once a lesser man before this, for I have gotten you an arcade version of Ninja Gaiden, yes it does emulate almost perfectly. I am ready to spend another 400 hours with you Ryu, beating the game on all the difficulties and completing the mission, I am ready. But before we exit… This game inspired me to a haiku: Man with spandex clothes
If you take his sword away
Will beat you my friend