Like you're grandfather would say: "Get a job sonny!"
Graphics: 8/10
Well, for a NES game Paperboy does look pretty clean. There are a lot of objects on screen at once with more than just a monochrome color. The character models are well done along with the other bizarre occurrences, objects or storm systems that follow you up and down what is America's most damned street. All of these instances are also nicely animated a definitely more fluent than in other NES games of its generation.
The houses also look up to par featuring a few colors, breakable windows and huge black gaps which apparently symbolize "garages". As for the paperboy himself, ironically, he looks worse than the rest but, luckily you won't be seeing much of him.
Sound: 7/10
Paperboy has a basic background tune that sounds like something you'd hear in an elevator and a few weak sound effects that don’t make even what use one could of the NES’ sound processor.
Dynamic music, as well as other "cutting edge" features aren't present in Paperboy which detracts greatly from the games audio/visual component. The best thing you're likely to hear, unfortunately, is sound in 2 channels at one time not getting drowned by one another, because drowning is common place in Paperboy.
Gameplay: 2/10
Paperboy not only is brutally short, easy and fairly purposeless but it's also so simplistic that it makes Mario Bros. seem like quantum physics. And as exaggerated as that might seem, this really is the case with this game.
Where to start? Oh, let's analyze the "story". Apparently you, some random suburbanized kid, have decided to take a paper route through what might be the weirdest most dangerous street on the face of the Earth in order to get some more money for whatever. The game isn’t too specific. Your goal in the game is to avoid getting mauled by a lawn mower running rampantly and to deliver all your newspapers to your clients, on their doorstep or mailbox while running from a tornado, a dog, and a psycho chick. This sounds a lot harder than it really is!
Despite the banal purpose of this game, as mentioned, it's much easier than it seems... when the level design doesn't get in your way. The only level available in this game, is obviously called "the Street" and it’s sprinkled with randomly placed traps, canal openings and lawn mowers with a taste for young flesh. This is where most of the game takes place, however, if you don't die trying to deliver your newspapers, at the end of the run you get to run a timed challenge for extra points. The timed courses are fairly simplistic and involve a bit of skill in getting from one end to the other while avoiding puddles of water or shifting walls that, one can assume, would cause considerable pain when flown through.
All in all however, where Paperboy fails in is that it’s pretty pointless and about as complicated as writing the letter "a". During your 7 game days, starting from Monday and ending Sunday, you have to deliver all newspapers to the people on your route. Deliver all of them and you get more subscribers which means a higher score. Be careful however as the game doesn't shy away from throwing ANYTHING it can think of at you. The enemies in the game are by far the best thing about it since they range from cars, to pedestrians, to weird man and women with nervous problems. It might sound idiotic, but it’s actually a much needed breath of fresh air for the monster design caste.
The other “mechanism” used to make this game harder is the actual street itself as apparently the paperboy is so inept he can’t drive his bike on or off the street only when reaching driveways. The concrete, 1 inch high lining is apparently impassable by bike. For fairly obvious reasons, this infuriates me to death, because if you miss one of the openings you’re stuck in the street where things cannot be avoided in almost any way. This kind of artificial difficulty makes for some needlessly frustrating moments that, really, have no place in a game as butchered as this one. And, speaking of difficulty there are only a few things that are truly difficult about Paperboy, and they mostly revolve around the use of the 3 lives you get. They cannot be replenished by powerups and once lost, they’re gone.
Oh, and let’s not forget your score. You get more points by breaking the windows of the houses who don’t have subscription or by throwing newspapers from left to right and hitting all sorts of objects that happen to cross your path of doom. Some of these objects actually have HUGE score bonuses if you happen to hit them. You also get a minor score increase by getting the newspaper IN the mailbox rather than just the doorstep. Finally, you get a score increase if you finish the course at the end of each day. The faster you un the course, the more points you get.
Another serious problem with Paperboy is its length: the game is brutally short, taking most gamers a mere 2-3 hours to finish it. Furthermore, despite a few artificial difficulties here and there Paperboy is not that hard even by today's standards and, considering we used to beat Contra without cheating back 'n the day, this game is just way to easy for a NES game.
Multiplayer: 7/10
2 player co-op mode makes the game a bit more fun but it still cannot change the basic flaws of its single player portion.
Overall: 4/10
Paperboy is far from being a good game. Due to its lack of gameplay options, playing fields and difficulty levels or interesting challenges the addictive nature of the game wears off in 30 or so minutes of game time. Add that to the fact that this game is also very short and doesn’t have character you can really be inspired by, and you get a game that’s well below average.
Fans of the series should consider this (and I know that there’s quite a few of you) but gamers interested in classic gaming have a long way to go before getting to buy Paperboy.