I got a Nigerian Letter, here's what I sent back:

"Dear ****

You are an idiot.

First: I can tell by your address that you are japanese, or are at least using a japanese e-mail account. This is not a quality of the "legitimate daughter of Director of ****

Secondly: You seriously came to the wrong place. I laugh at the plights of others with a very malicious heart.
Lastly: What in the **** would I do with 9 mil? I mean, I can't decide what to do with my minimum wage paycheck. Try being content and living simply. Does ya good.

Fourthly: These letters are way too imbedded in the pop culture of the internets. I'd recommend some other scam, like offering something free at the cost of shipping, something like that. A letter from Africa to a guy who works at Burger King isn't convincing in the slightest.

Fifthly: Learn English. Caps in CERtian PLACeS KiNDa or lack thereof ShoWs That yOu are dealing with a retard that learned english from Scooby Doo.

However, I am not without graditude, seeing as this is my first Nigerian letter, so I send you a "get well soon legitimate daughter of **** and sons:" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKfUwhHSGbg

Now go kill yourself for using the wrong e-mail address, you silly little girl.

Highest Regards And Good Luck With Future Endeavors,

(name used censored)"

I'm loling so hard right now.

It was from Japan! So ****ing obvious!

-Lt. Mik