Whoo-hoo, my week-long suspension is up, baby! ...Huh, thought I'd have more to say about this, but I guess that's basically it. LOL. See ya on the threads!

A Day In the Life of Jin

9-10 am: Went to tea shop again. Drank a gallon of tea and hot scar guy still won't talk to me. Wonder if he's gay ...Hmm, always wanted to seduce me a gay guy.

12-2 pm: Went to tea shop again. Asked hot scar guy out. His uncle accepted for him. Weird, but whatever. Uncle's kinda cute. Hmm, always wanted to seduce me an old guy.

6:00 pm: Met hot scar guy in front of tea shop. What's with the weird hair? Eh, whatever. Long as I get me some.

6:30 pm: Dinner with scar guy. Up close, his scar kinda looks like licorice. Wonder if it tastes like licorice? Maybe I'll get to lick it later. Hee!

6:40 pm: The waiter calls me scar guy's "girlfriend." Woah, nobody said anything about "girlfriend." I just wanna get my freak on.

6:45 pm: Scar guy says he used to be a juggler in the circus. He gives me a demonstration. Uh, yeah. Hope you have better hand-eye coordination in the sack, pal.

7:45 pm: I take scar guy to the Firelight Fountain, where I take all my conquests. Only the lamps aren't lit. Bummer. Scar guy asks me to close my eyes. Oh, yeah. Here it comes. Slip me the tongue, big boy.

7:46 pm: Okay, no tongue. What gives? ...Decide to peek. Holy crap! Scar guy's a firebender! I should run and get the Dai Li! ...Hmm, always wanted to seduce me a firebender.

7: 47 pm: I decide to play stupid. Guys like that. "Oh, Lee! How did you light the lanterns without aid of a match or fire source? It's a miracle!"

7:48 pm: I move in for the kill, but scar guy cock blocks me with a tea coupon. Yep, he's gay -or a virgin. Maybe he's a gay virgin. He tells me the coupon's from his uncle. I shoulda brought him to the fountain. Would've gotten farther.

7:50 pm: I tell scar guy to close his eyes. Gay or virgin, I'm getting me some tonight. Before I can insert tongue, he backs off and scampers away. God, what a wussy boy. ...I drank all that tea for nothing! And I hate tea!!

8:00 pm: Walked home alone. Rounding the corner I see an old guy selling cabbages. ...Hmm, always wanted to seduce me a cabbage merchant.

Inspired by my "Day in the Life of the Firelord" post, I give you...

A Day in the Life of Appa

9:00 am: Woken up again by tiny girl who likes to start earth quakes. She's really starting to piss me off.

9:30 am: Eat breakfast of hay provided by goofy bald boy. Man, this kid is needy. Stop hugging me already.

11:00 am: Flying monkey thing talks my ear off again. Would like to bite monkey's head off, but bald kid is always around. ...Maybe later.

12 noon: Bald kid, tiny girl, naggy chick and loud guy hop on my back and expect me to fly them places -again. "Yip yip"? I got your yip yip right here, you lousy...

2:00 pm: Stop for lunch. Surprise -more hay. Where's the meat? I should just eat you all. Especially naggy chick. Mmm, dark meat.

3:00 pm: Bald kid engages in another round of "snuggle the bison." Sheesh, kid, get a girlfriend already.

4-8 pm: More flying around. You people would be so screwed without me.

8:00 pm: Finally stop. Break camp for the night. Tiny girl and naggy chick go at it. Whoo-hoo, Cat Fight! Kick her ass, naggy chick!

11:00 pm: For some reason we're flying again. Whatever.

1-5 am: Stop again. Start again. Stop again. Start again. I think we're being chased.

7:00 am: Flying yet again. Decide to play prank -pretend to fall asleep. Kids yell in terror as we plummet towards ground. Bwahahaha! Psyche!

7:10 am: Tiny chick and naggy girl go at it again. Darn, no blows thrown. Appa wanna see some mud-wrestling! Tiny chick storms off. Good riddance.

8-9 am: Given bath. About time, people! I still got Swampbender stench all over me! Wait, am I losing all my hair? Great, just what I need, to look more like bald boy.

10:30 am: And we're flying again. Bald kid goes off alone. Forgets to hug me. Thank God.

11:30 am: Crash land. Sick of this BLEEP. Going to sleep. A depressing-looking chick and her busty friend attack us. Yeah, right. Have fun swimming, beeyawches!

12-3 pm: Left alone with yapping monkey thing. Too tired. Kill later.

4-7 pm: Kids are back. More flying. Surprise, surprise.

9:00 pm: Break camp. Sleep -finally!

9:15 pm: Bald kid makes lip-smacking sounds in his sleep, mutters "Katara, I wuv you." God, what a loser. Somebody kidnap me, please.

Someone suggested I post this on my blog. Well, here it is...

A Day in the Life of the Firelord

5:45 am: Watch sunrise. Bask in glow of own Royal Firebendiness.

6:00 am: Eat Breakfast: Bowl of Fire Flakes with milk.

6:30 am: Throne Sitting Session.

9:00 am: Shift weight to left butt cheek. Continue throne sitting.

12 noon: Eat Lunch: Barbecued Sky Bison with a side of burnt Lemur.

1:00 pm Give "State of the Fire Nation" Address. Threaten to take over the world.

2:00 pm: Practice evil glare in Royal Mirror.

3:00 pm: Make appearance on Jerry Springer Show: "Fire Nation Princes and the Dads that Burn Them."

4:00 pm: Visit Fire Nation Prison. Light random prisoner on fire.

6:00 pm: Eat Dinner: Barbecued Badger-Mole with a glass of Dragon blood.

6:30 pm: Watch sunset. Yell expletives at moon/moon spirit while shaking Royal Fist.

7:00 pm: Attend fire works rally in my honor. Reiterate plan to take over the world.

9:00 pm: Say prayers. Thank God for the ability to set others on fire.

9:30 pm: Sleep. Dream of dueling Avatar with no pants on.