This blog is dedicated to -TheDeadMan- and unfortunately that isn't Perry. First on the agenda, not one person PMed me so either nobody could be bothered or you're all morons. Second, since there were three comments on my blog, whether it was because you wanted another Fairy Tale or not, as promised I will show my version of Jack and Jill. A vote on the next fairy tale if you want to choose from is between FoldMeSocks and The Three Hares, The Three Little Pigs or Stinkerella. Choose carefully. On the other hand, if you want to read Mac and the Green Dork, Ter Mite and the Seven and a Half Dwarves or Senile Lady that Swallowed a Fly, feel free to request them aswell. I'll probably go through them all eventually anyway. But I must warn you that only FoldMeSocks and Senile Lady are as short as the ones I've done so far and the others are four pages long and will probably only be read by people with too much time on their hands (hell, they were certainly written by someone like that). If you want a highly inappropriate story I suggest FoldMeSocks. But without much further ado, I present:

Zack and Gil

There were once two teens who worked on a farm.  Their names were Zack and Gil.  Gil didn't like their boss, the farmer, because he never remembered Gil's name.

One day, the farmer shouted, 'Zack!  Bill!  I need you to run an errand.'

They went over.  'Okay,' the farmer said.  'Will, can you get me that water on the table on the way in.'

'My name is Gil,' Gil said in gritted teeth.

'Sure, whatever Phil,' the farmer waved his hands.  'Now, I need you guys to go up the hill over -,'

'That's it!  My name is Gil.'

'I said hill.  You know the thing you walk up.  Geez, relax Pill.'

'Pill?  That's not even a name.'

'Well you thought Hill was.  Look, I didn't bring you here to argue about Till's name.  There's a bucket that you need to fill -'

'You already called me Phil today.'

'Oh, forget it.  Take this bucket, dunk it in the well that's on top of that... steep grassy bump and bring it back down.'

'So now you're calling Zack Back, huh?' Gil said.

'Um Zack, I know this guy's your friend but he's a bit mental so I'm gonna fire him next week, okay?' the farmer said.

'Whatever,' Zack said.  'Come on Gil.'

'Make sure you invite me to your barbeque then,' the farmer called as they left.  'Sorry, I overheard you talking about a grill.'

As Zack and Gil climbed up the hill, Gil said, 'Hey, you left the bucket outside the farm!'

'I know,' Zack said.  I'm not carrying a heavy bucket all the way down a hill.  We're just gonna muck around here then fill up the bucket with tap water when we get back.'

'Ah, sneaky,' Gil complimented.

'It's the American way.'

'But we live in Asia.'

'Same diff.  They both start and end in a.'

'Well so does Alaska, Africa, Antarctica, Australia...' Gil rattled off countries and continents.

'I don't care.  Wanna graffiti the well?'

'Yeah!' Gil agreed. 'Oh, but I left the spray paint back at the farm.'

'Dammit!' Zack said.  'Oh well, I'll go get it.  He started going back down the hill but he tripped over a stone and cracked his skull on a jagged rock, instantly dying.

'Hey that looks like fun,' Gil said and ran down, tripping over the same stone and landing on another rock.

Meanwhile, back at the farm, the farmer started doing an evil laugh. 'Mwahahahahahaha!' he shouted.  Huh, I wonder what that was for.  Eh, it's probably not important.

Meanwhile, back at the hill, Gil was almost dead but wanted to die where he wanted to be buried... the graveyard on the other side of the hill.  Gil grabbed Zack's lifeless body and pulled him along as he slid towards the graveyard.  But he only made it to the well where he collapsed.

The next week, King Jack and Queen Jill walked up the hill on an inspection of the farm.  King Jack got up first and saw Zack and Gil's corpses.  He stumbled backwards, falling down the hill.  He knocked in to Queen Jill who fell down aswell.  Neither of them got badly hurt but King Jack broke his crown.  In this country, if the King breaks his crown, he loses the title of royalty and the owner of the place they are at that time becomes King.

The farmer became King, as was his plan all along.  I guess that's why he did that maniacal laugh before.  Or maybe not.  I guess we'll never know.