Kathy Santoni looked up from the floor. "Oh no. Please, don't tell anyone." "You better hope we don't all find out in about nine months," Stephanie cracked. "What does that mean?" Michelle asked. "We'll explain later," Stephanie said. She quickly turned Michelle around while keeping her right hand clasped over Michelle's eyes. As they walked back upstairs and closed the door, Stephanie instructed Michelle, "Go find D.J. and get her to go down to the recording studio right away. I need to go get Dad." "You want D.J. to get my panda?" "Just go!" Stephanie ordered as she ran upstairs. Michelle ran into the living room and grabbed D.J.'s pants. "D.J., Steph says you have to go to the recording studio right away." "What?" D.J. grumbled as she was led away by Michelle. "Can't Stephanie handle whatever's down there?" she asked, thinking Michelle imagined a monster was down there. "I don't know, it must be scary. It looked weird. Then, she covered my eyes." "I'll be back, guys. This better not be a trick, Michelle." D.J. said as Michelle led her to the door, then opened it. Meanwhile, Stephanie burst into Danny's room. "Dad, you need to come quick." Danny rose quickly and exclaimed, "Why what happened?' "Well, let's just say that I tried to cover Michelle's eyes fast enough, but after what was happening in the recording studio, I think you're going to have to explain the birds and the bees." "I've never seen your dad run so fast," Becky said a second later, as both felt the breeze from Danny's running. D.J. had ordered Michelle to go up to her room and wait. She saw her Dad breathlessly running to the top of the stairs leading to the recording studio, and held up a hand. "Can I have a minute to lecture them first?" she asked, trying to conceal her anger. "Be my guest," Danny said haltingly, still trying to find words. D.J. fumed as she glared at Kathy and her boyfriend. "I come down here because my baby sister tells me to, and I think she's just wanting me to find her bear or something! Instead, what do I find, Kathy?! You shamelessly and selfishly using my Sweet Sixteen party to...to...I don't even want to say it! I can't believe how you would destroy a friendship so treacherously! This is my moment of glory, and all you can do is..." She paused for a moment, and shouted, "Get the rest of your clothes on, and get out of here! I never want to see you around here again, after what you did to my party!" D.J. screamed tearfully. Danny hugged her as she began sobbing. "It's your turn, Dad," she mumbled. Danny sighed. "I don't think I have anything I can add right now." Back in the living room, Kimmy looked around after several minutes. "Huh, now D.J.'s disappeared." She walked into the kitchen, only to see Kathy and her boyfriend leaving. "Kathy, where were you? Where are you going?" "Oh...we just thought we'd go for a drive," Kathy said absently. Kimmy couldn't tell she was lying. "Oh, well, okay. Glad you came. I'm going to look for D.J. now." She walked upstairs to see if D.J. was in her room. She found Danny comforting a tearful D.J. as they sat on her bed. "Hey, Deej, what's wrong?" She sat on the other side of D.J., and placed a hand on her back. "Kathy and her boyfriend, that's what's wrong. They said they came to celebrate my party, but they disappeared so fast after they came. And, when I found them, they were down in the recording studio just..." She shook her head. "I hope she does have a baby! She deserves to have to struggle through life after this," D.J. ranted. "This is supposed to be the biggest night of my life, my sixteenth birthday party." "Whoa baby. You mean they were actually...?" Kimmy was shocked. As crazy as Kimmy was, she would never have dreamed of doing anything like that. She placed a hand on D.J.'s. "Wow. It sounds like both of our Sweet Sixteens have been real bummers, huh?" D.J. nodded. "Now, Deej," Danny said, "it's true that what they did was very wrong. But, we don't know what they were thinking. They might have come with all intentions of honoring you, and they just got carried away." D.J. wiped tears from her eyes. "Yeah? Well, why did they have to do it here? Why couldn't they have done it in their car even? You and Mom did it at a ball park!" "Well, in the car, actually. We were just so in the mood, and the wait for traffic to let up was so long anyway. It's true you couldn't have walked in the way we did it that evening, but even doing it in a parking lot, I can remember telling Pam it seemed like something Jesse would do." "You and Mom really loved each other. You knew what was right, and when to do that," D.J. mumbled, trying hard to think of something other than what Kathy had done. Forget "Sixteen Candles" - the theme song of this party was becoming, "It's My Party, and I'll Cry If I Want To." Danny remembered that he had to comfort his daughter, so he stopped rambling and got back on the subject. "We sure did. But, you're right, what they did was awful. This was your night, and it was so full of good fun for kids your age." Danny shook his head. "It almost makes me wish I'd let Kimmy host the party." "Hey, believe me, Mr. T., I would never allow people to do that. Making out's one thing, but..." Kimmy whistled. "Good thing Blondo and Blondo Jr. didn't see it." "I'm afraid they did. I think we're going to have to explain all about that now." He sighed. "I'd been hoping to wait and gradually tell her over the next three, five, maybe ten years. I'll understand if you can't help, Deej. Aunt Becky's here, she'll be able to help like she did when Steph was asking questions." "Thanks, Dad. Maybe in a few minutes, before I go back down," D.J. muttered. "I just need some time to talk with Kimmy." "Okay." He hugged her and left. Back in the present, Michelle's eyes lit up. "Kathy sounds like a Flamingo." "If we hadn't grown closer to the Flamingoes on our trip last summer, I know Darcy, Allie, and I would have never gotten this call. Kathy's younger sister's the one who tried to get me involved in that group in the first place, so they could steal Dad's phone card and Kathy could call her boyfriend once he moved across the country. Now that we're in high school, things are a little calmer between all of us." Stephanie hummed. "I'm just not sure if I can stomach seeing her now, let alone learning who Kathy might have around. Do you have any advice, Michelle?" "Maybe. First, let me hear the end of the story. I remember you guys all telling me about that stuff," Michelle revealed. "Okay, you're right. Dad asked what you'd seen, you asked a bunch of questions, and D.J. did come in a while later," Stephanie said as she continued her story. Michelle was sitting on her bed looking at an anatomy book. It was quite intriguing. But, Stephanie, Allie, Danny, and Becky could tell she was still a little skeptical, and very grossed out. "Do you have any more questions, Michelle?" Becky asked. "I still don't believe I'm going to lay eggs someday," Michelle responded. "It's not laying eggs, Michelle," Stephanie said in an exasperated tone. "It's okay, Steph. This is pretty far over her head, at this age. But, now you understand what you saw, right, honey?" Danny asked. Michelle nodded. "And why it's only something for a Mommy and a Daddy to do, when they're ready to have babies?" "Is Kathy really going to have a baby now?" Michelle asked. "That's gross." "We know it looks that way to you. And, that's good, at your age." Danny patted her hand. "When you get older, and get married, that's when it's special. It was always very special and fun for your Mom and I. We don't know if the seed got into Kathy and connected with an egg or not." "It could have, though. That's why I made that joke about all of us finding out in nine months," Stephanie explained. A light bulb seemed to come on above Michelle's head. She finally understood that part. "You also should never tell your friends any of this. It's something for parents or, in your case, aunts and big sisters to help their parents explain," Becky added. "Yes, when they're much, much, much older," Danny said. Michelle spoke as D.J. entered the room. "They wouldn't believe it, anyway." "I'm going back down to my party now. How are you doing, Michelle?" "Okay. But, I'd rather be playing Candyland." "Did you wait till you were married, Dad?" Stephanie inquired. "Yes, I did. I wanted my wedding night to be the most special time possible, and so did your mom. Because we each planned to share our bodies only with someone who meant so much to us that we were determined to be together till death," Danny said wistfully. "See, Michelle, that's another reason why what Kathy did was so selfish," D.J. said as Uncle Jesse entered with the cordless phone. "She only thought about how she could please herself, not about how what she did now would spoil the fun of that wedding night and beyond with her husband years down the road." "Hey, speaking of that, Kathy's on the phone for you, Deej," Jesse said. "Tell her I don't want to talk to her," D.J. complained. "Don't you think you should at least hear what she has to say?" Jesse countered. Danny could tell D.J. was about to refuse. "Look, honey, what she did was wrong. And, I really think you're right to not want her around here anymore. But, she deserves a chance to be heard. Because she needs to know that her mistake isn't the end of the world, even if it does result in a baby." D.J. sighed deeply. "Oh, okay." She walked out of the other bedroom into her own and said hello in a tired voice. "D.J., look; I just wanted to apologize," Kathy said. "Hey, look, it's not the end of the world if you're pregnant," D.J. said briskly. "D.J., please. I haven't even thought about that. Although, if it did happen, I'd at least want you to come to my baby shower," Kathy related. "Is this really that small a thing to you, Kathy? You act like it's no big deal, and you're talking about some movie night you're going to host in a few months. Well, it is a big deal! Because you could not only wind up with a baby and having to drop out of school, you could have some terrible disease. You could even have gotten AIDS! We used to be good friends in grade school, Kathy." D.J. sighed and frowned mightily. "And I don't like what's happened to you." "D.J., look...first of all, this wasn't our first time. When we're together, my boyfriend and I just get too caught up. We don't stop to think. But, when you kicked us out, I started to think...maybe we should start to think about you a little. I wouldn't have wanted someone to use my Sweet Sixteen party for their own lusts." "Thank you, Kathy, for using that word for me. Because it's not love you and he feel." D.J. grumbled. "But, that just means that you're not thinking about the future at all. And, you haven't since Junior High." "Look, I'm really sorry, D.J.. I know it really isn't fair. I don't expect things to get any worse, but maybe if I do become pregnant, things will change. It hasn't happened yet, though," Kathy said defensively. "Yeah, well it could! It might have happened in the last few weeks, or maybe even tonight." D.J. closed her eyes and thought for a second. "I'll come to your baby shower if you have one. But, you have to promise not to be doing that with him, and not to be around here. I won't have my sisters being influenced to be like that!" "Well, if that's the way it has to be, D.J., goodbye. I'll let you know if there's a baby shower, just so you can come and...wish me luck." The phone clicked. D.J. stared at it in disbelief for a second, not realizing that Uncle Jesse was standing in front of her.