Hope you liked it - got great reviews on fanfiction.net when I wrote it ---------------- Meanwhile, on board Gilligan's ship, several of the aliens emerged carrying the pies that had been sent over to them. "Oh, look at the cute little aliens, dear," spoke Mrs. Howell, "aren't they precious. And they're bringing some of the pies back." "They must have eaten them all," spoke Mr. Howell from the beach that was now also a bridge. "You can keep some for later if you like," commented Gilligan. Suddenly, more Teletubbies appeared, and they began throwing the coconut cream pies at Gilligan and the others. "Gilligan, do something to stop them," shouted the Skipper. "Like what?" A pie hit him square in the face. "Anything," shouted the man, but once the creatures had thrown all their pies, they left. "Well," came Mr. Howell's insulted tone, as he brushed coconut cream off his clothes. "The best thing I can say is they do have impeccable aim." "The best thing is, hopefully that's over..." began Maryann before looking out the viewscreen. "Hard left!" "They're attcking again," remarked the Skipper, "we're being bombarded with pies!" He ordered Ginger to try to contact them. "It's no use," came Ginger, "they're really angry about something, but I can't make heads or tails out of what they're saying." A hail had been sent - perhaps too quickly - by Kim stating that Voyager had told the aliens to let the crew of the Jupiter II go first. "Isn't that a nice gesture," spoke Mrs. Robinson. Suddenly, as the creatures were about to leave their ship, pies were given to them, somehow being transported there. "Oh, look," John remarked, "they've got some going away presents. They look like...pies." "They don't look happy," Will noted. Suddenly, the pies began flying around the room. One hand held the pies, the other was used to fling them. The consoles and people were soon covered with coconut cream. Some which were rather intact wound up being thrown back at the Teletubbies, and soon an all out war broke out before the creatures transported out. "What was that all about," wondered the major as he turned to Dr. Smith. "Are you all right?" He looked at the man and groaned, holding his arm, which he'd sprained. "Yes, but it appears I was injured in the fracas." "I thought that was in the foot," came the girls simultaneously. The robot said "ha, and you thought I'd deliver that punch line." "Never mind that, you bucket of bolts," complained the doctor, "let's just get this ship up and running." Suddenly, more pies started coming at them from the aliens' ship, though most were going toward Voyager and Gilliagan's ship. "Oh, no, we'll be hit in the crossfire!" Smith jerked the ship to the right. "Now, that's's in the foot," joked Will as the crew lurched about. On board Voyager, Janeway asked Naomi to remain so they could iron out the problems. "Captain," reported Tuvok, "one hundred of those aliens have beamed on board this ship." He looked down at his computer console and quickly glanced back up. "And they are each carrying several pies." "Find out what they want. Hail them." Several Teletubbies stepped out of the lift onto the bridge. "Hail, hail, the gang's all here," cheered Kim, "we're gonna beat that old team tonight!" He turned to the captain and said "that's not what you meant by hailing, huh?" He got a pie thrown in his face. "You dservered that, Ensign. What are you doing with those pies?" "Those can't be pies," remarked Tom Paris. With a look of concern as the aliens threw pies at people, Janeway asked "why not?" "Because," came the wisecrack, "they're round, and pi R sqaured." Janeway walked up to a red teletubby and said "give me one of those," as she took from him. She then hurled it at Tom, hitting him square in the face. As the pies flew around the bridge, Tuvok stood straight and asked while being splattered "would you please stop throwing your pies; you are damaging the bridge." B'Elanna reported from engineering that "we're getting peppered with pies down here, too." Seven remarked stoicly as she got hit with a couple of pies that "I presumed practically one purely got peppered with pepper, or perhaps with pickled peppers, not pies." "Try saying that five times fast," remarked Naomi. "Are you kidding," came 7, "it took me four takes to say it once slow." Just as quickly as the pie assault began, it was over. As the consoles, viewscreen, and people were cleaned off, Chakotay said "thank goodness that's over." "Think again." Janeway walked toward the viewscreen, noticing a large blob coming out of the ship. "What is it?" Tuvok ran several scans. "It appears to be one humongous coconut cream pie." "Shields up!" Just as the went up, the pie, which was half the size of Voyager, went "splat" right in the front of the ship. The captain shook her head. "Naomi...tell them we surrender." The girl stared at the empty captain's chair as Janeway went into her ready room to clean the stuff from several pies off of her uniform. She finally sat in it, shook a finger toward the viewscreen, and broadcast to the alien vessel "you go in the corner for a nice, long timeout!" "I don't suppose this is the time to ask how we're going to get the stuff off the FRONT of our windshield, is it?" remarked Kim. Tom, finally cleaning the pie off his face, shook his head. "Although I'd like to suggest we could ride through a meteor shower to clean off." Suddenly, the captain peeked out of her ready room off the bridge. "Ensign Paris?" He looked toward Janeway. "Yes?" A pie suddenly hit him in the face. As the rest of the bridge crew broke out in fits of laughter, the captain explained. "I had one left. Just in case." Captain's Log, Stardate - sometime around noon Friday. We're finally getting the mess cleaned off our viewscreen, though the pies messed up our consoles so much we couldn't navigate, and wound up coming out of the womhole the same way we came in. Oh, well, at least we had enough Magic Reset Buttons. "Do you want the honor," Janeway asked Nomi as they stood around a large red button seemingly attached to nothing. "What does this do?" Seven explained that "we would not have the power to waste water on all of our portals and windows. However, by using the Magic Reset Button, that allows us to do so." "We use it pretty often, but this is the first time someone other than Seven or myself has done it." The girl presed it. "Cool!" "You know," Tom remarked, "I can't help but wonder what happened to those other two ships." The Jupiter had continued to fly around aimlessly inside the wormhole for a while, finally crashing on a planet in the wormhole, where the Teletubbies put them to work for several years before letting them go back to Earth. As for the other ship.... "...3...2...1...splashdown," remarked Gilligan. "What did we just do," inquired the Skipper. "You put us right next to the Hawaiian islands, didn't you?" "Well..." They looked around them - the ship around them had disappeared, thanks to Q, and now it was just an island again. "No, I guess the pies they threw at us messed up our navigation." "Oh, those pies, Gilligan, why did you ever suggest giving them pies to begin with?!" The Skipper fumed. Back on Voyager, Naomi was eating dessert. Neelix had just handed her a piece of coconut cream pie, but she quickly turned away from it. "I thought you liked to eat coconut cream pie," her astonished mother said. "Oh, to eat," Naomi said, picking up her fork. "That's okay. I thought we were gonna start throwing em at each other again." Ensign Wildman looked quizzically at Neelix, who shrugged.