Why Canada hates Toronto.

1) The Maple Leafs

2) The Maple Leafs fans

3) The fact that all Canadian media thinks the Maple Leafs are the only Canadian sporting franchise.

4) That Americans think Toronto is, in fact, the only city in Canada.  (It's not.  In fact, the rest of Canada wishes TO wasn't even part of this country.  They're kind of a disgrace...)

5) They think the universe revolves around them.

6) THE PLURAL OF LEAF IS LEAVES!  NOT LEAFS!  MY GOD!

7) According to Torontonians, a good team isn't determined by how they perform on the ice, it's determined by which fans can go to other teams message boards and say "you suck" the most.

Yes, Toronto, your teams all win at having the most trolls.  Good job.

8) They've won 13 cups.  Let's not mention the fact that there are exactly 0 videos or pictures of a Leaf holding the cup in colour, because the last time they won it, there was no colour TV or pictures.  That doesn't matter though, because if their grandparents can barely remember their last cup, by golly, it's more impressive than anything accomplished since then, by anybody else.

9) Apparently, every hockey player in the world one day dreams of donning the Maple Leaf.  Every free agent period, it's "LET'S SIGN EVERYBODY FOR THREE DOLLARS EACH!  WE'LL BE MAKING THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE!! YAY US!"

(Then they get mad at us when we point out it took them 5 million dollars to sign a half million dollar defenceman)

10) They're everywhere!  You honestly can't go a day without seeing a blue fricking maple leaf.

11) Despite having no offence, an overpaid defence, and a goalie who's crowning acheivment is being named Andrew, they're the heavy, heavy favourites to win the cup.  Somehow.

12) On to football.  They make Canada look bad by signing drug using, suspended NFL players.

13) They make Canada look bad by existing.

14) I.  Hate.  Toronto.

I feel a bit better now.