don't mess with older generation!..lol!!

YOU GOTTA LOVE OLD MEN

I was at the mall the other day, eating at the food court. I
noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green,
red, orange, and blue.

The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and
find the old man staring every time. When the teenager had had
enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man,
never done anything wild in your life?"

The old man did not bat an eye in his response, "Got drunk
once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you
were my son.

CATHOLIC PARROTS!..LOL!

Catholic Parrots
>
>
> A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a
> problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one
> thing."
>
>
>
> "What do they say?" the priest inquired.
>
> "They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'"
>
> "How shocking!" the priest exclaimed; then he thought for a moment.
>
>
> "You know, I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking
> parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
>
> Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage
> with Frank and Jacob. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and
> worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time"
>
> "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the
> solution."
>
> The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house.
> As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their
> cage, holding rosary beads and praying.
>
>
>
> Impressed, she walked over and placed the female parrots in the cage.
> Immediately, the female parrots cried out in unison:
> "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
>
> There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the
> other male parrot and exclaimed.
>
> "Put the beads away, Frank, our prayers have been answered."

gardening!..lol!

A true story told by L. A. P. D. An old Mexican man lived
alone in East Los Angeles. He wanted to spade his
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Jose,
who used to help him was in prison. The old man wrote
a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Jose:
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't
be able to plant my garden this year. I'm just too old
to be digging up a garden. If you were here, all my
troubles would be over. I know you would dig the
garden for me.

Your father



A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa:
Por Dios, Papa, don't dig up the garden. That's where
I buried all my drugs and money.

Your son,
Jose




At 6 a.m. the next morning, the LA Sheriffs showed
up and dug up the entire area without finding any
drugs or money. They apologized to the old man and
left. That same day, the old man received another
letter from his son.



Dear Papa:
Go ahead and plant your garden now, papa. It's the
best I could do under the circumstances.

Smile...its contagious

quickie!!!...lol!

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8
year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a
Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot", he shouted.
A few moments passed .. "An ambulance just drove by."
A few moments later," Looks like the Anderson's have company", he called
out.

"Matt's riding a new bike....."
A few moments later, "Looks like the Sanders are moving."
"Jason is on his skate board...."
A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex!!"
Startled, his Mother and Dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out,

"How do you know they are having sex?"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."